To think that SOMETIMES nagging a patient about their weight isn't the priority?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Like, for example, when they are in your surgery because their depression has returned full force, they are desperate, and they have reached a low enough point to drive them back to the doctor to plead for antidepressants.

I know I am overweight - the mirror tells me that, my clothes tell me that, my aches and pains tell me that. But that isn't why I was at the GP this morning - and yet I was barely a minute into the consultation before my weight got mentioned.

Is it daft to think that, faced with someone in a state of black depression, nagging them about their weight is hardly likely to help, and might, actually, make them feel worse? And given that it probably WILL make them feel worse, maybe you could lay off them about their weight, and could focus on their mental health issue instead?

I had to be in floods of tears, on my feet, ready to walk out of the consultation, before my doctor accepted that maybe he should not be referring to my weight in every second sentence he uttered. And even then he kept referring to it as 'The Thing We Are Not Allowed To Mention'.

I have written to the practice, and am waiting to see what their response will be.

Thank you all so much for the amazingly supportive and caring responses on here. You wonderful people are all that is good about MN.

Idiot!

I know exactly how you feel. I am not quite overweight but close and I am aware that my weight is creeping up and up. And guess what! It doesn't help my depression to know that - I know my GP will tell me off when I got to see him next month and that won't help either.

Thing is I was at my slimmest ever when I started on cit nearly 7 years ago - I was running 20+ miles a week and eating a very healthy diet. I still run a great deal and I eat the same diet and I am now the fattest I have ever been. Citalopram just seems to pile on the weight no matter what I do. THe GP tells me I am imagining it but I KNOW I am not. And being fat makes me miserabel. Vicious circle.

And what a childish response from a professional

So sorry xx

See a different GP. What on earth has being over weight get to do with being depressed?!

Just sending my hugs and sympathy. I am overweight. I have various medical issues which have helped cause it and contribute to it, and I know that on many of my GP visits it will be mentioned. Most are fairly sensitive at our practice though. They seem to know that it is at least in part a complication from my medical history.

The GP's conduct sounds rather unprofessional to me. He saw your weight. He did not see you as a person at all, and he barely acknowledged the problem you went there to discuss (i.e. your depression). Do write to the practice manager. If no-one ever does then this sort of thing will never change.

Banging on to a depressed person about their weight is hardly likely to help matters. I will have fingers crossed that your up and coming psychiatrist appointment goes better.

Your GP is a massive twat.
I don't really have anything else I can say.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you OP

My grandad used to complain that the dr always blamed his age. He went with a bad knee and the dr dismissed it and said 'it's just your age'

My grandad replied

'Thats funny because my other knee is exactly the same age and I don't have any trouble with it'

And then saw a different GP

Some doctors forget that they are talking to a person.

Wonderful response, EverybodysStressyEyedGrandad!!

Personally, I can see where he was coming from. You are probably getting even more depressed because ofyour weight. Yes, there is probably some casual ambiguity, or dispute over whether depression leads to weight gain vs the other way round, but you would definitely feel better if you did some exercise outside in fresh air, and lost some weight.

It would be like going to the doctor with liver damage and asking him to help you with tablets, and him saying "if you stop drinking, you liver will be better" and you saying "no, find another way".

I say this as someone who has suffered depression. Getting out and going for a run helped me ENORMOUSLY.

Getting out and going for a run helped me ENORMOUSLY.

I can barely get out of bloody bed let alone "go for a run" FFS !

Actually I have been more or less this weight for years - it is definitely not what is making me so depressed right now. And how on earth was it helpful for him to make a depressed person so upset that she nearly left the consultation without getting any treatment at all? It wasn't that he just mentioned it - it was the way he went on and on about it even though he could see how it was distressing me.

Also, at 20 stone, I can't walk far, let alone run - never mind the fact that I cannot motivate myself to do anything, at the moment - I didn't even manage to clean my teeth today, how am I going to go running?

I think the near suicidal depression was the priority today, not my weight.

as bluecoconut said upthread, its the default setting. I am 50 years old, 5ft 4in and weigh 8 st 8lb. I exercise hard for 8 hrs per week - basically I spend all my free time in the gym. When I go in about my very sore noisy knee I get "don't gain any more weight and try to exercise more". When I go in about my gynae problems I get "It's your age".

I lost my temper about the knee a week or two back when the specialist told me that I needed more exercise. I said that unless I move my bed into the gym and stop eating, it just isn't possible to do any more and I can't sustain what I am doing long term.

It never seems to occur to them that some of us are happy as we are size-wise, including those who are "fat" and the single track approach isn't particularly helpful.

Yes, I know that at the time going out for a walk even feels like the last thing you want to do, but it will probably help, at least in the vast majority of cases, if not yours specifically.

At 20 stone a run might not be possible, but a walk would be, or a swim. Just making yourself do it, no matter how much you don't feel like it, will help in time.

The doctor needs you to help him help you.

If I cannot find the energy or motivation to clean my teeth, where am I going to get the motivation to go for a walk/swim/ whatever? Hopefully when I feel better, I will be able to do more, but believe me, at the moment it is simply not an option.

What I mean is sitting at home and wallowing, not going out and not doing anything is exactly what you most want to do when you are in the grips of depression. But it is the absolute worst thing to do.

I changed to a different doctor at my local practice after yet another weight lecture during a visit for a sore throat. So painful that I couldnt speak to defend myself.
I'm on anti-depressants and while I agree they arent always the answer they have changed my life for the better. They work along with other therapies so please don't lose heart if you are asked to try them. My family don't ever want me to stop taking them!
Good luck with finding a more understanding GP - there are lots of good ones out there.

If someone had accused me of 'wallowing' whilst in the depths of depression, I'd have wanted to lamp them. If I could have been arsed obviously.

I do go out and do a few things that get me out of the house and away from the wallowing, BakersStreet - I go to a weekly knitting group, and I'm in a chamber choir - both of which are good for my mental health - but since Christmas, I have attended less than half the choir rehearsals, because I have felt so shitty. That is going to improve, I hope.

Chocolate - I wanted antidepressants, but my GP didn't think they would be helpful, because I was very negative about how much good they've done in the past - as in, they've kept me going, and got me off the bottom of the black pit, but that was all. He told me he couldn't prescribe a stronger AD than the ones I've had in the past - I'd have to see a psychiatrist for that. We'll see what the psychiatrist suggests on Thursday - but I am not agin the idea at all.

It would be like going to the doctor with liver damage and asking him to help you with tablets, and him saying "if you stop drinking, you liver will be better" and you saying "no, find another way".

It's not remotely like the OP saying "no, find another way". It's as if the OP has said "I agree my drinking might be a problem, but it isn't what caused this issue and I need help now. Perhaps the help can also include help with stopping drinking, but can you stop talking about my drinking and concentrate on getting me some kind of help for the moment because I am ill."

Oh, how stupid (of the doctor.) OP, massive sympathy. I will risk the wrath of Mumsnet and very gently say at 20 stone I think weight is a psychological issue. I am guessing the doctor recognises saying "you are too thin, eat more," to an anorexic wouldn't be helpful so why going out for a run as someone helpfully posted would be the solution, god knows.

I could no more go out for a run than I could enter the Olympics and I'm a normal weight.
massive hugs. You are lovely I bet xx

sorry to hear your gp not very helpfull .but yes they do tend to go on a bit .maybe once you felt better he could have broached your weight but not when you feeling vunreable .i understand twig thin i am not

I am still fuming on your behalf, SDT. What a nasty piece of work he sounds. Almost like a caricature of Doc Marten on the TV.

Hope the crafts are going well. I always found that sort of thing quite meditative when I was really poorly.

No doubt Thursday can't come around fast enough. Hope the psych is good. My one was brill - they are out there.

Chocolatecaramel - I think you are right about the psychological aspect of my weight - it has crossed my mind more than once that it is a form of self-harm.

It's quite common, STDG. I don't know if that helps, but you are NOT alone.