To think that SOMETIMES nagging a patient about their weight isn't the priority?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Like, for example, when they are in your surgery because their depression has returned full force, they are desperate, and they have reached a low enough point to drive them back to the doctor to plead for antidepressants.

I know I am overweight - the mirror tells me that, my clothes tell me that, my aches and pains tell me that. But that isn't why I was at the GP this morning - and yet I was barely a minute into the consultation before my weight got mentioned.

Is it daft to think that, faced with someone in a state of black depression, nagging them about their weight is hardly likely to help, and might, actually, make them feel worse? And given that it probably WILL make them feel worse, maybe you could lay off them about their weight, and could focus on their mental health issue instead?

I had to be in floods of tears, on my feet, ready to walk out of the consultation, before my doctor accepted that maybe he should not be referring to my weight in every second sentence he uttered. And even then he kept referring to it as 'The Thing We Are Not Allowed To Mention'.

Like someone else said, being overweight is often a symptom of depression. Lots of people eat to medicate themselves. So your GP is ignorant as well as tactless and genuinely unpleasant. I hope the appointment on Thursday goes better, and that you can find a nicer GP.

Apart from the nasty GP, I am having a pretty emotional day, Cailin. I'm home alone (dh is down south on business and won't be back until gone 8pm), which is why I have turned to MN and to my friends on FB for support.

Unfortunately you are all being so lovely, and kind, and caring, that it is making me all weepy and just a bit snotty - stoopid, I know! But (mush alert) it is doing my heart good to know how lovely and caring you all are!

I am going to go and make myself some lunch, and settle down with my crochet and some crap distracting tv, for the afternoon. I haven't quite decided whether to have a comfort food lunch, in spite of the GP, or whether to have something healthier. It somewhat depends on what's in the fridge, of course!

Losing weight seems the solution to every problem. I went to my GP with high blood pressure. I was told to lose weight. I am 5.4 and was a size 12 - 14. I was furious, because I was not unhappy with my weight and had a healthy diet. I have since lost a stone and now I can fit into a size 8, but I still have high BP.

Smoking is another cause for everything, but I don't smoke so they went for my weight.

OP - I hope you feel better soon.

SDTG - do you think you might be able to manage a short walk (10 mins or so) today? I'm just thinking that getting into the light and the fresh air might be beneficial, and then you can settle down on the sofa with the TV and the crochet.

FWIW, I was prescribed swimming for stress/depression a while ago, and actually although I don't like swimming, I did feel an improvement.

(Nosey) what are you crocheting?

At the moment, I am either working on a mad patchwork blanket - lots of squares in all different sizes and patterns, in purple, bright yellow, cerise, turquoise, teal, rust and lime green, or the flowers, stars, leaves etc for an attic24 Christmas wreath.

Wow - that's good forward planning with the Christmas crochet!

Your GP sounds frankly unpleasant. When I collapsed in tears in my GPs office trying to explain the symptoms of my depression she was fantastic and I am deeply grateful to her for convincing me that taking ADs would help me feel well enough to do all the other things that are good for depression. Exercise was mentioned as being beneficial (and indeed it has been for me) but it wasn't brought up until I was stable enough to deal with being given another 'task' to do.

I would agree with writing to the Practice Manager and I would particularly mention him referring to it as 'the issue we can't discuss' that is childish, snide and deeply unprofessional in my opinion.

Sounds lovely! I'm in the middle of a 'junk' blanket, odds and ends so quite Technicolor!

Goodness me, you poor thing

It just shows how little even gp's really know about depression as anyone with half a brain cell knows that as your mood improves and you feel happier you are more likely to eat less and exercise more

I would see another gp next time if possible. Hope you start to feel better very soon x

The wreath isn't really very Christmassy, so I am planning to have it ip all year round (I am using similar colours to the ones the designer uses).

Gosh, are you making that! It's amazing. I'm so impressed.

I went to my GP with a pain in my lower right-hand abdomen which came and went depending on where I was in my menstrual cycle - it peaked during ovulation and the start of each period.

She told me that my weight was damaging my hip and that I would soon need a hip replacement.

Um, no. It was undiagnosed endometriosis which went on to cause an ectopic pregnancy and 2 operations within 6 months of her failed diagnosis.

She saw "fat" and didn't bother to listen to me after that.

Bloody daft GP! Hope you see a better one next time and good luck with the psych appt later on, hope you get someone who actually listens to you this time!

Argh, a number of GPs seem to have 'default' settings - my DM swears hers is stuck on 'its your age' and mine insists everything is panic attacks. I swear I could go in with a limb off and he'd insist it was a panic attack. Can you see another one in the practice who might be more helpful?

Love the wreath!

What a prat! I'm really sorry you feel overwhelmed SDTG - and I do know exactly how you feel. Be kind to yourself, no matter how 'pointless' it may seem. You will get better

I wrote a complaint about a locum at my GP's practice, who ranted at me about claiming benefits, managed to call me fat and totally implied I was pretending to be depressed so as to claim the princely sum of £71 a week ESA He even wrote a codicil on my medical certificate, which necessitated two long phone calls and a ton of paperwork to convince the DWP I wasn't working on the side!

He hasn't been back to my local practice :) I often don't handle bullies well, so was very proud of myself for complaining.

my DM swears hers is stuck on 'its your age' - Oh, god, yes, this! My mother, sister and I are all constantly fighting against "what do you expect at your age" why don't you women all just go away when you reach menopause

I bet 50+ men don't have to research their conditions on the internet, do their own physical examinations & provide reams of printouts just to be taken seriously!

Honestly?

By referring to it as "The Thing We Are Not Allowed To Mention" he is actually belittling you and your feelings, by patronising. Its deliberately undermining your desire to not talk about something (in this case because you would prefer to talk about another issue which is causing you a problem currently, not because you are in denial that you have a weight related issue).

Lets be clear about this: This kid of behaviour is deliberately disrespectful and is BULLYING. The fact you were reduced to tears by his persistence only serves to reinforce the point.

It is about making you deliberately feel a certain negative way, in order to put you in a position of weakness, where you feel that you can not assert your RIGHT to refuse to talk about an issue at a particular time for whatever reason.

I avoid going to the GP if at all possible, because I know my weight is going to be brought up.

This is the problem. His attitude and manner is adding to the problem and damaging your doctor patient / relationship. Its also not just about him as a GP - he is actually bring the profession into disrepute, by breaking rules about respect for patients - as this probably will effect how you feel about other HCPs not just him. You are less likely to want to engage with or trust them.

There is significant evidence that this type of attitude by doctors is having a very negative effect on doctor / patient relationships and is putting patients at risk.

As such as you are a patient already suffering depression and desperately seeking help, his behaviour runs the risks of stopping you from seeking the help you need (including seeking help and support in the future, should you want it, for any weight related issues you might have). The potential outcomes given this context are quite frightening.

This isn't just about being unprofessional. This is about incompetence and putting patients at risk, not serving their best interests.

I encourage you to make a complaint on these grounds; you have good cause to do so and would be well within your rights. This is NOT a trivial issue.

I also encourage you to change GP and not see this irresponsible egotistical bully again for the sake of your own health.

YANBU. I hope you find a different GP who will recognise what the most important priorities are for you.

When your depression is under control, then you might choose to address your weight, and like anyone else this should be if and when you decide.

In my postnatal checkup, 6 weeks after the birth of my daughter, my GP mentioned that with a BMI of exactly 25 I was classed as overweight. I've never been overweight before and technically, if I wasn't fully dressed and wearing shoes my BMI would have been in the normal range but surely there was no need to mention it to a 6 week postnatal woman.

YANBU btw.

I suspect it is all to do with NHS targets, and there's not much they could do.

FWIW, thats bullshit. They record certain information and have certain targets and tick boxes for certain information which they are reminded of everytime you go to the GP if you are not 'complying'.

However, if it is causing you distress you can get the GP to put on your notes, that this is an issue and that they should only discuss it upon request or if its is DIRECTLY linked to the problem you have come to discuss with them.

How do I know you can do this? Because, my GP is doing EXACTLY this for me.

It is an "upon request" thing but it CAN be done, if it is effecting your health in other ways (basically its damaging your mental health in someway) and you can demonstrate that you have full understanding and potential risks of the issue you feel is a secondary or lesser problem in your personal circumstances.

My weight has always reflected how I'm feeling about life. When I feel better, the weight takes care of itself with little effort. When I'm struggling my weight is out of control.

It would be a mistake in my case to assume that my weight can be controlled by diet and exercise, there's a bit more to it than that unfortunately.

I would write to the practice manager.

Write to the practice manager about his attitude. He is undermining & underplaying your concerns & wishes by resorting to frankly childish & PA tactics. He should know better.

Completely agree with red
His attitude was completely unprofessional. You can with one complain (depression) and he spends his time talking about another (your weight)!!