To think that SOMETIMES nagging a patient about their weight isn't the priority?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Like, for example, when they are in your surgery because their depression has returned full force, they are desperate, and they have reached a low enough point to drive them back to the doctor to plead for antidepressants.

I know I am overweight - the mirror tells me that, my clothes tell me that, my aches and pains tell me that. But that isn't why I was at the GP this morning - and yet I was barely a minute into the consultation before my weight got mentioned.

Is it daft to think that, faced with someone in a state of black depression, nagging them about their weight is hardly likely to help, and might, actually, make them feel worse? And given that it probably WILL make them feel worse, maybe you could lay off them about their weight, and could focus on their mental health issue instead?

I had to be in floods of tears, on my feet, ready to walk out of the consultation, before my doctor accepted that maybe he should not be referring to my weight in every second sentence he uttered. And even then he kept referring to it as 'The Thing We Are Not Allowed To Mention'.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

It does help - thank you.

[kitkat1967]

STDG - i get it too. I am 61 kg with a BMI of 23 but because I have raised BP I get the same script evey time I go (which I try no to). Now I have type 2 diabetes (caused by cancer treatment) and it's started all over again - just get the 'eat less sugar and lose wieght mantra'.

My DM (who is 74) won't go because she is a smoker and the only advice she ever gets is to give up smoking!!

[NaturalBlondeYeahRight]

STD I feel for you, I really do. I'm sure I'm not alone in avoiding the doctors at all costs now because of the same conversation. I'm overweight, but healthy (obviously I can see that might not always be the case) I doubt very much if my tonsillitis was caused by my love of the good life.
My mum is slim, they blame every ailment on smoking for her.

[NaturalBlondeYeahRight]

Anyway, we have an ageing population, why are they trying to get us to live for longer

Maybe it's a double bluff?

[RedToothBrush]

Is this some sort of covert policy within the NHS to try and reduce costs by driving people away from seeking medical advice?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Lol - maybe you are right, NaturwllyBlonde and RedToothBrush!

[NaturalBlondeYeahRight]

SDT Doh! Apologies for the wrong order of letters. You are not an std.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

And you don't have a rogue W in your name - sorry for that! I shouldn't have chosen such a complicated user name, really.

[GarlicMarchHare]

FFS, people just don't get it with their chirpy exhortations to get out running, etc, do they?

At the worst of my depression, my daily exercise comprised going out of my front door and to the corner of my street ... if I could make it that far. The corner was about 30 metres from my house. Most days I did it, dragging myself the last few metres by leaning on fences. Most days, I did it in my pyjamas.

My therapist was pleased with me.

[changeforthebetter]

Depression is a battle anyway. Your weight may well be a symptom of your depression. The GP sounds crap Can you see someone else?

[TeacupDrama]

the doctor was not being helpful I'm a dentist so this is not my field but I think it's a bit like seeing a patient who has had her front tooth knocked out as a result of domestic violence and me noticing she has a couple f small holes in her back teeth and giving her a lecture on the evil of the irn-bru she was drinking,

in terms of general dental health the irn bru is a bad idea and it needs to stop and some advice being given on oral hygiene and drinks etc but this particular appointment when she has a bruised gap at the front of her mouth isn't the right time

today was not the right time to address Op's weight problem another day will be the right time; flashing icons on screens can be cancelled easily

[winterhat]

You are probably getting even more depressed because of your weight

Weight does not cause clinical depression. There are many slim people with mental health problems, and many overweight people without them.

Depression is an illness, and is not the same as feeling down as most people would understand it.

[DumSpiroSpero]

Your GP is an arse!

I also have depression & a weight problem. 6 weeks ago I got referred to a fitness programme.

Went to see GP on Friday for progress report - told him everything that had gone wrong since, sobbed, whinged and went away with a double dose of ADs, a friendly squeeze on the shoulder and strict instructions to not worry about losing weight until things are more under control.

This is a male GP in his late fifties so yours has no excuse.

Is there anyone else you can see?

[Pilgit]

Oh ffs. All depressives know that good diet and exercise can be helpful to keep it at bay. BUT when you have gone back because you are crying for help it is a bloody fatuous and pointless thing to mention. It's like telling someone with a broken leg a bit of physio will help. Well it will when the break has healed but first off u out need a cast! It's just another thing for a depressive to beat themselves up over.

He was a dick. Complain! Being thin is not the answer to every medical problem. Grrrarghghg. I have the rage on your behalf.

[Thumbwitch]

I think BakerStreet must work for ATOS or the DWP, it's the same attitude! "oh you're just wallowing, of COURSE you can do xyz, look at ME, I did it therefore ANYONE can do it."

Bah.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

As my psychologist used to say 'If you could do it you would.'

[missingmumxox]

And your post is why I never discuss smoking or diet with my clients unless they talk about it, even if on occasion I have thought that is the issue, anybody who doesn't know the issues about it must be living on the planet zog!
It is pointless and takes my limited time away from the issue they have come along with.
Oddly this means they nearly always bring it up themselves, as us "oh I though you would blame x"
So I tell them my above reasons why I haven't and 50% then start a discussion on it which I will then support and by that if someone is depressed to the point you are (my mum considered a win day if she managed to wash, a great day if she dressed) if it seemed that weight loss could help them because they had issues with it, I will tell them about the local NHS fitness prescription, web sites and the like, but then say these are things you can look at now and aim to use when you feel a bit better.
I have had as a unintended consequence of this a better relationship with clients as I am not seen as a nag and also a few success stories have come my way, I am always as proud as punch when people conquer their problems, but equally I didn't become a nurse to sit in judgement of others, in fact lesson 1day 1 of our training was a lecture on leaving our personal prejudice as the gate of the hospital and that we do not judge, we are allowed to think what we like outside but not inside.
My fave weigh in me cardiac clinic..we need to weigh you, me why? We do everybody! But why? We do everybody!
Okay but I am 8 months pregnant with twins!
She still insisted on weighing me and I said I was obese....
So I said you need to document I am 8 months pregnant with twins... Clearly she didn't as 2 months later being weighed in again at the same clinic, I got taken to a side room to be delicately asked if I thought I might have cancer due to my dramatic weight loss...5 stone in 2 months I just pointed at my twin pram!!!

[GarlicMarchHare]

Good grief, missing, some people leave their brains behind, don't they!

[Ludoole]

My mum was weighed by her consultant (she has had major bowel surgery to remove cancer), at her check-up she was asked if she was wearing concrete shoes????

Granted she is obese, but the surgery has resulted in a massive hernia developing which also makes it uncomfortable/painful to do much physical exercise.
Its all very well telling her she needs to 'eat better' but coupled with the fact that she is coping with dad who has alzheimers, shes often too tired/mentally and physically exhausted to cook from scratch.

[GarlicMarchHare]

:( This reminds of a cautionary tale told to doctors - not enough of them, by the sound of it. It's the true story of a couple who were both seeing a consultant for their obesity. Doc put them on diet & fitness regime, all good, both get stuck on the final 5 kilos or so. They agree to step up the regime short-term to shift the last bit of flab & compete to lose it. Man reaches target weight, all fit & proud, but the woman's actually gained a bit and has a big tummy. Husband confirms she's not cheating on the diet. Doc puts her on even more punishing exercise regime, but her tummy obstinately protrudes & she doesn't lose weight. Puzzled, doc resorts to endocrine tests - all normal - and accuses the pair of lying about her commitment. Is whingeing to a colleague about her, when the colleague suggests a scan of her tum. She has a massive tumour.

[Thumbwitch]

Missng, that's outrageous. How dare she tell you that you were obese when you had a very clear reason for your weight! And how dare someone then suggest you had cancer, FFS, because you lost it quickly!!
Jeez there are some fuckwits out there.

Garlic - that cautionary tale should be on the back of every clinician's door, especially those that have obesity clinics or the like.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

I heartily agree with Red.

I have a real 'thing' about doctors who blame the patient, and refusing to focus on the depression in favour off the weight is doing exactly that.

I also loathe doctors who cannot hear or see the person in front of them due to the loud roaring of their own preconceptions and stereotypes. It's a real problem and happens enough to suspect its a societally approved way of seeing the sick, or the vulnerable.

Perhaps it should be medicalised so they can get help? Tinnitus of the brain?

OP, what you said about weight as self harm really strikes a chord with me. I punish myself for being who and what I am, by eating bad foods and binging in self hatred. It's one of the worst things to do as then I am so ashamed and can't cover it up, which I guess is rather the point - really harming myself.

It's the polar opposite of self care, and to those who say, ooh, go jogging/ mountain climbing/ swimming etc and eat a healthy diet are really not understanding the massive issue with depressions influence on a persons mental, physical, emotional and spiritual functioning.

Depression is a bugger as it touches everything in you and pulls you down:

• energy levels
  
• confidence and self esteem
  
• motivation to do anything at all
  
• inability to plan ahead
  
• anxiety and fear
  
• basic daily functioning
  
• barriers to self care
  
• self hatred and
  

... All of which make just breathing fucking hard, and as for some crazy 'change everything plan', power on through it and change your life over night... Well, i used the word 'crazy' on purpose as a slightly tongue in cheek way of showing how ridiculous it is.

I hope the pysch person is more informed and professional. I'm glad you felt able to complain to the practise as well.