to think people are selfish to not go to a wedding if it's adults only?

[Birdo83]

Just read another thread where several members said they would refuse to go to a wedding if their children weren't invited. Not for child care reasons but just cause they thought it wasn't right.

Space at weddings are limited what with both peoples friends and family. Are people really expecting some of the bride or grooms friends or family not to attend THEIR wedding so people's kids can take up all the seats? Our wedding was adults only because of course I wanted to prioritise my loved ones over other peoples children who, on the whole, don't mean so much to me. I'd have to have turned several of my closest friends if I'd let everyone bring all their children which I'd hate to do.

It's also worrying how many people can't seem to enjoy themselves without their kids. Ditto people who refuse to go to parties that our adults only. Very odd.

Not every bride drones on about her wedding for months in advance. I barely discussed mine with my friends, certainly didn't mention it to work colleagues. And I didn't feel the need to have post-mortems afterwards either.

We had a child free wedding abroad! Wouldn't be popular with some people, I now realise from MN. All of our 80 guests jumped at the chance to come except one person who had has travelling issues and had two toddlers and sent her Dh on his own. We would have been happy with babes in arms but the only babe at the time belonged to a bridesmaid and she brought her mum to look after the baby. for the day. Her choice, but now I'm a mum I realise it was a big deal to leave her 5 month old all day. At the time I was just pleased she was up for it.

However I'm so glad we had a child free, massive party, dancing all night under the stars type wedding. With children there it would have been lovely too but not the big, late night party I wanted. Almost as a last send off before ttc myself.

Now as a mum I'm desperate to be invited to a child free wedding but everyone is already married! I have attended one with the toddler but it wasn't the fun night it would have been without him - a different kind of fun of course.

I can't understand people who refuse to go to child free weddings out of principle either, child care issues aside. But I don't think these people are the people who I hang around with either. I love events with and without my child and will happily adjust to whatever the bride and groom (or other party giver!) want.

You must know some very boring people Worry

Do brides actually talk about toasters?

Worry....you don't have to "worrysighworry" about declining any invites as you have now bought your dog as you mentioned earlier as an excuse to get out of things....

Freelance you sound like my kinda wedding gal

I can't help imagining that people who claim that they wouldn't go to a child free wedding on principle rather than for practical reasons are imagining they are being invited by a cousin who they don't like that much or some kind of frenemy, not their close friend with financial problems.

I think you judge each situation as it happens.

Actually, the kind of brides you're referring to Worry, I suspect, are like that with everything not just their wedding day.

You know the type, can't make a decision without the opinion of other people.

It's a neediness that's apparent in their day to day life, not just the run up to the wedding.

Thankfully I don't know too many of those. I don't think I have the brain capacity to have the same conversation over & over again (I obviously do for this subject though )

Jeez, WorrySigh, going by your posts on here, you really don't like the people you call your friends very much, do you?

who enjoys weddings these days anyway? probably just bride and groom
;)

its all about the £ssss

Then you are obviously a very nice a thoughtful person Janine.

The last wedding I was invited to I had lived for the six months leading up to the event. There was not a single aspect of the wedding I hadnt heard about. I had heard about everything from the poem in the invitation to the confetti canons. I even knew about the bride's lingerie.

Afterwards I heard about the drunken friends, the annoying relatives the disappointing photographs. I saw the video, I heard the vows.

Never once did I snigger, roll my eyes or offer anything other than enthusiasm for the event.

I did my bit, before and after the wedding. I earned my evening off.

JadedAngel - If you have a back garden big enough to host a wedding, or a friend with one, you are fortunate.

I am actually planning my wedding in our house with caterers. Although it won't cost mega amounts, it won't be cheap either.

OK 'Friend with financial problems and no other friend with a back garden'.

On the other hand, I think some of the potential wedding hosts appear to be inviting their employees.

Is it all weddings you view with such tedium....or just the last one you seemed forced to endure?

Employees? Who merrymouse? Me?

I said work friends. Friendships I have built over the last 12 years with other adults.

I am feeling really left out as I hardly ever get wedding invitations! You guys must know a lot of people :o

Also, there is an element of choice involved. Anything beyond the legal requirements is just a big party. You get to decide what kind of party you want, but as with any party some people may not be able to attend. It isn't a big deal.

So what if someone invites their employee, who they may also happen to like and be friends with, over a child they don't actually know?

Are you serious?

I'm friends with my boss. I was friends with her before she became my boss.

Is it so alien to you that I might be invited to her wedding?

How odd!

No Hotdog, I meant people who are getting really het up about reasons for non attendance as though their guests have taken unauthorised leave of absence!

I love these wedding threads but I think I live in some sort of parallel universe to most of MN or am a crap mother.
When my DC were little I loved going to child free weddings.
My feeling is the B&G should have the choice. If you're a guest and don't want to or can't get childcare just decline the invitation.
I really don't get the angst.

I just asked dp to marry me so we can have a wedding with ALL the children

We had a small wedding. My husband's friends had between them 17 children, which would have been 17 friends he could not invite. Why would he want small children he barely knew when he could have had old friends?

Sorry, your children do not mean as much to me as our old friends.