to think people are selfish to not go to a wedding if it's adults only?

[Birdo83]

Just read another thread where several members said they would refuse to go to a wedding if their children weren't invited. Not for child care reasons but just cause they thought it wasn't right.

Space at weddings are limited what with both peoples friends and family. Are people really expecting some of the bride or grooms friends or family not to attend THEIR wedding so people's kids can take up all the seats? Our wedding was adults only because of course I wanted to prioritise my loved ones over other peoples children who, on the whole, don't mean so much to me. I'd have to have turned several of my closest friends if I'd let everyone bring all their children which I'd hate to do.

It's also worrying how many people can't seem to enjoy themselves without their kids. Ditto people who refuse to go to parties that our adults only. Very odd.

Really, Hotdog? Because you said 'Why would you want your kids around that?' which implies concern for the kids.

Besides, if your friends can't control their drinking enough then a) they're liable to fall over anything, a chair, a handbag, another adult, their own two feet

and b) maybe they're the ones who shouldn't be invited.

Janine, I suppose it is more understandable when you have that sort of life. For me volunteering at the Animal Shelter is part of who I am, so I wouldn't like to let them down. Living away from family means that monthly weekend trips are set in stone. I do one weekend duty every month and DD's gymnastics class (when she attended) was so oversubscribed that 2 misses meant that your place was taken by the next person on the waiting list - so I understood exactly how the previous poster was feeling.

Exactly why I said you not me. You're assuming...

If my friends were so pissed they fell over their own two feet, a chair etc I would find it quite funny. It's a party for adults..

Yabu
And more than a little ridiculous.
Of course it's not selfish. Ppl have many reasons for declining an invite. And within their rights to do so. Even to an event as important as your wedding.

I don't understand your point, Hotdog. What am I assuming?

I regret not having children at our wedding. In a way
It just wasn't possible for us to double our numbers.
Not a particularly lavish day either. But even at the time I would have preferred to have had the budget and space for everyone.
I believe most ppl enjoyed a night a
Off as it were. One friend couldn't arrange childcare so her daughter came along. I had to make an exception.
I think we should have eloped

I don't get why so many posters are so shocked that some people just don't put the same importance on someone else's wedding. Marriage is a personal thing between 2 people and maybe their immediate families, no need for the whole world to acknowledge and celebrate it too at a huge expense. Thousands of people get married every day, thousands of people get divorced every day and the world keeps turning.
I mean really, it's just 2 people making promises often to a god they may not believe in and which they may or may not keep.
If some people would rather stay home with their dc then that's prerogative.

Velvet - Because I believe in supporting friends and family I love and care about, by attending their important celebrations.

I went to my FIL's 80th birthday party because he realy wanted me to be there. I would have enjoyed more sitting on the sofa watching a box set. But it's not all about me and my immediate family.

harry, wow, some people really don't get it, do they?

People who would rather stay at home -Not UR

People who prefer a child free wedding - Not U

People who get offended by someone not accepting invite for whatever reason - UR

People who get offended because their children are not invited to a non-family members wedding - UR

That's settled then

I'm off to make a

btw, we had family and friends' children at our wedding - it was great. Dh's little niece, aged two, spoke up during the vows - she was around the age where you teach them how to say their name, so 'I edam middle name take you, dhfirst name middle name' resulted in a little voice piping up 'me Amber Louise!'. And then at the end she invited everyone back to her house for tea. If only we'd known, we could have saved a bundle on the reception!

Hot you have just about summed up there my view on this extremely convoluted post.
Thank you

Thread not post

Yes but velvet the point is that the assumption is that if you have been invited to someone's wedding it is because you are someone important to that couple and that you have some kind of relationship with them that extends beyond 'thousands of people getting married every day'.

Your post makes it sounds like people just invite random people to their weddings!

I should have just said that from the start Only

I surprise myself with my intellect sometimes. Better late than never

That's fine Grennie but can you not accept that not everyone shares your beliefs? It is possible to be a supportive friend and not attend a big expensive event hundreds of miles away. As i said previously some people just can't afford to help every single person they care about celebrate their weddings, birthdays etc.

Feel free to cut & paste for the next child free wedding thread.

Just use a spell checker first

You can invite anyone you like to your wedding.

However if someone chooses not to go because they would like to take their child and their child isn't invited, I see no problem.

For example if I was not to invite my little cousins they would be gutted because we are close and they'd feel upset that I didn't want them there.

Invite who you like to your wedding but dont use it as a test of friendship. Your friends will have lived this wedding with you for the year beforehand. They will be there again afterwards to admire your photographs, sympathise as you moan about multiple toasters, the rain on your honeymoon, the bad behaviour of your guests.

Give them the day off if they want it.

A big expensive event hundreds of miles away, yes. I would be very upset if a good friend who lived close to me didn't come to my wedding because she would rather watch box sets on the TV or go to a village event.

In a contest between sitting at home watching Criminal Minds box sets with my DD and going to a wedding I will be found on the sofa at home.

Wowzers, I know each to their own blah blah blah, but sometimes I do think I live in some sort of parallel universe.

Gosh, ^^This.

As another OP of a thread about children at weddings, I'd not pass up a wedding for that kind of reason. I really wouldn't be able to find overnight childcare during the week.

Blimey what Joy....

Worry - Actually my friends won't. I will never be that type of bride.