to think people are selfish to not go to a wedding if it's adults only?

[Birdo83]

Just read another thread where several members said they would refuse to go to a wedding if their children weren't invited. Not for child care reasons but just cause they thought it wasn't right.

Space at weddings are limited what with both peoples friends and family. Are people really expecting some of the bride or grooms friends or family not to attend THEIR wedding so people's kids can take up all the seats? Our wedding was adults only because of course I wanted to prioritise my loved ones over other peoples children who, on the whole, don't mean so much to me. I'd have to have turned several of my closest friends if I'd let everyone bring all their children which I'd hate to do.

It's also worrying how many people can't seem to enjoy themselves without their kids. Ditto people who refuse to go to parties that our adults only. Very odd.

My dad's sister got married when I was 12 and my brother 10. When my dad found out we children were not invited he was not best pleased. I don't know what was said, but we went to the wedding.

Her DD got married when my children were 19, 17, 15 and 13. They were only invited to the evening do, but were obviously old enough to be left, plus it was local, so DH & I went on our own. No problem.

My DS2 is getting married this summer and initially said that DD2 (7) would not be invited. DH told him that in that case he needn't bother inviting us because we wouldn't be going without his sister . Luckily DIL2B has a bit more sense and told DS not to be so stupid, so looks like we are all going.

hotdog -

Your family's weddings are obviously allot racier than ours!

I should also add, these are people I would not invite to my wedding anyway

50th birthday! not a wedding.

tallulah Now that is gobsmackingly UR. His own sister?

I would've decline too

Thank god they're not my friends or family fluffy

I don'y have a problem with adult only weddings. We had that at mine although did allow "babies in arms" You can't stop a breastfeeding mother taking her baby plus they don't count as a place setting so dont cost anything or take a space.
However you shouldn't take offence if they can't come. Not everyone has babysitters on hand.

Weddings are in part an ancient fertility rite - so it seems strange not to have the key symbols of fertility at em dunnit?

Each to their own - so long as invitees know in good time what is expected of them re dress code, children present or not, location, time etc it's all good. No one however should expect another person to go into penury to attend a social event (hotels, clothes transport etc all cost money!).

RSVP's should be graciously accepted and appreciated. Provided those who cannot attend let the hosts know in good time, and refusals are gently worded, rejections should also be taken in good spirit. If someone cannot attend your wedding for whatever reason from not being able to organise childcare to being unable to afford the flights, there is no need to become nasty towards them.

Actually it's not always easy to plan months in advance when you are a forces family. I just don't go anywhere I can't take my kids to. I do have a large network of friends which means sometimes are paths don't cross but it comes to a stage they have a life to

Weddings are in part an ancient fertility rite - so it seems strange not to have the key symbols of fertility at em dunnit?

My ovaries will be attending, even if my DC aren't

I love going places where there are no children. How sick am I of the professional mummies who think the whole world revolves around their children. Weddings are expensive and lots of people dont want their day ruined by crying children who must have their every need catered to ASAP. If you get a wedding invitation and the children arent invited dont go if it bothers you - and that way everyone else will have a much better time.
I know it doesnt sound like it but I'm a mum but I also have a life and I dont need everyone else to see me being the best mum in the world by dragging my kids along to every occassion.

Me "Why would anyone want a childfree wedding"
DP "because they're miserable twats"

I have 4 dcs.... would never decline any invite on principle, just if I could not attend.

a balance is hard to strike I think. I have been to beautiful child free and child friendly weddings. I have also been to a wedding where the children topped 50 and it was more akin to a soft play..the bride had to call her evenings entertainer in 3 hrs early in tears as tables were being knocked and there was screaming and crying..no parental discipline at all. I went to child free wedding that was awful..stilted, over formal and long winded!

god

let people choose who they want at their wedding
make your choice regarding your poor uninvited offspring after that

who cares?
Go or don't go

completely self involved tools blether on about their little darlings not being invited to SOMEONE ELSE's event
IMO you will not be missed in reality

If the groom and bride wanted kids there they would have them - it isn't for the person who has been graciously invited to decide.
If they feel that their views are more important that the bride and grooms =er= then they really should stay away and do everyone a favour

Our wedding was mainly childfree, but that was because we gave our guests the choice. We put the adults names on the invites and a note inside saying that children were welcome, just let us know how many before Xx date.

Every person that was attending the wedding had to travel - from Germany, from my home town and DHs home town. We had a late afternoon wedding to give all guests chance to travel up in the morning and negotiated very good room rates for those that were staying, both at our hotel and ones in the same area. We also hired a minibus and driver to do shuttle runs back to hotels/travelodges that evening.

We had 102 guests and I'd say that 15 of those were kids (including one baby). We had budgeted for up to 150 if everyone bought their kids.

We had one person decline, and one person not be able to attend on the day. I think we did the right thing. All our guests were happy, we were happy and a great time was had by all. The day wasn't about me or DH. It was about having a good time with people we love, the wedding ceremony (though beautiful and emotional) was secondary tbh.

Thing is though LtEve the guests always say they've had a great time, even when they thought it was hell.

I know I've said that because I wouldn't want to hurt my friends feelings.

I'm not saying yours was like this, but to those who say they had 500 kids at their weddings and no one minded and every had a ball.

I have a feeling most of their guests were bullshitting them

Not everyone plans theirs months in advanced. My DP and I did ours with only weeks planning, and my BIL and SIL-to-be are currently planning theirs having told everyone last week for a date later this month. And even though we love them dearly, we won't be able to attend due to expense of travelling and staying and work and really that it is their day and the type of party they want is more about their friends and grabbing onto things after a bad health scare than anything else (while our kids were invited, we've been informed repeatedly that it will very much an adult event and I don't want to get in the way of the kind of day they want). So we're sending money and will celebrate with them later at a family do later in the year.

Even though we love and care for people, doesn't mean that our presence and input is desireable for all their life events. We all have different needs and priorities.

I'm frequently puzzled by posters on here who seem to be incapable of doing anything or attending any event except as a "family" and who get huffy if this isn't possible.

Most people's children are not interesting or amusing to anyone other than their parents.

Hotdog ime other people's kids make no impact on adult enjoyment

If only.

People need to work on how easily triggered they are if having kids they are not responsible for in their vicinity at a wedding pisses them off

Big assumption there Silly

Easily triggered?

Hilarious!

I very much doubt it's the kids that yet will get annoyed with. More the parents who fail to bother to watch the kids. Who do to realise when little Jacob has had it and needs to go. Or that Nikki is hanging from the curtains, or they are running round behind the equipment and the parents don't care cos they are drinking and having a laugh.

No one would resent the kids just the lack of discipline or the assumption that "somebody else" will watch them while they go out for a smoke. And that their need to get pissed outranks the need to get their dd home who's passed out under the table.