AIBU to expect my 10yr old to clean up toilet messes?

[efemera]

My 10 year old son is perfectly capable of using loo roll to wipe his backside, so I consider he should also be expected to use a small wodge of loo roll to wipe down any excess detritus that he may leave spread down the side of the toilet bowl when he hasn't been bothered to sit on the seat straight. I don't expect him to start flinging chemicals round, or expect it to be perfectly spotless, but is it unreasonable for him to make some effort? His father thinks that it's unhygienic as he may not wash his hands properly, whereas I argue there is no more (potential) exposure to fecal matter than wiping his bum.

Can't he use a loo brush? I think you are being a bit mean...its not like it would really be his fault or like he did it on purpose.

Teach him to look behind him once the loo is flushed and how to use the loo brush and wash his hands after.

Isn't that what parents do?

But wouldnt it be lovely that he is made aware that Somebody cleans the skiddies, and it aint the Bog Fairy. I dont know any men that think it might be their responsibilty to clean up after themselves. It is not exclusively a womans job. Show him how to use the toilet brush efemera, it might even encourage him to sit properly on the toilet if it makes him realise that is part of the problem.

No one [hopefuly!] makes a mess on purpose, but everyone should clear up after themselves if they do!
10 is not too young. YANBU

I don't have a loo brush, I consider them unhygienic, and not even all that effective, but I don't want this thread to turn into a discussion about that - there seems to be enough of those I've found as I searched to see if anyone else had had this issue!! And of course I taught him to wash his hands (and still periodically remind him). I'm not suggesting for one moment he's done it on purpose, but he has still done it - I'm not asking him to clean up as a punishment, just because it's the right thing to do to clean up after yourself.

Get rubber gloves and parazone or bleach wipes, they work well and actually clean as opposed to just wiping it off.

YANBU
My DH still can't do this and, much as I love her, I blame his Mum!!

Well if you don't have a loo brush then you will also need to teach him how to use toilet roll to clean bits near the water where the toilet roll you're holding gets wet etc...

I really don't understand the problem with brushes if you use them sensibly but whatever you do, I agree 10 is a sensible age to be learning this +am trying to instil this in my 10 yo DS too).

Get a of brush, far more hygienic than letting a 10 year old clean a toilet bowl with bare hands.

Yes of course a 10 year old should do this! It's not a punishment- it's just being a civilized human being.

Oh, and this talk about men not being able to do it makes me despair.

If they can drive a car and understand the offside rule they can clean a fucking loo. They can also cook a dinner, wash up and put their dirty clothes in a linen basket. Because that's what adults do!!!!!!!

Yanbu, in fact 10 years old is a bit old to not know how to clean up after himself. It's also hardly fair for him to go to other peoples homes and do this.

pudding maybe, like in OP's case, his dad was the one who said that he should not and it's unhygienic?

OP yanbu, 10 is definitely old enough to clean after himself. But if your Dh feels so strongly about it, is he willing to go and clean up every time DS has used the toilet?

Interesting. I was thinking about this recently, as ds is nearly 10 & very rarely leaves a mess in the loo but I've noticed it a couple of times. I don't use a loo brush either, but was thinking of getting one for him, as I don't like the idea of him using loo paper in the toilet, or bleach just yet.

A loo brush is much more hygienic than putting your hands in the loo water to clean the bowl. How do you clean the bowl without a brush? How odd.

If it's the brush handle, then you wash your hands after
If it's the brush itself, I pop some water in the brush container with a squidge of bleach so that it is effectively sitting in mild bleach all the time. and then wash hands after as well.

I don't expect anybody to clean off their skiddys.. In fact I forbid it. Cleaning the toilet is my domain.. I had to untrain the husband even.

If you want a 10 year old to do it then get a brush.. If you want things done a certain way then do it yourself.

I really don't want this to be a toilet brush debate. I clean the toilet using a cheap sponge/scourer which I dispose of after use, and then use thick bleach which is left for as long as poss before flushing which has always been enough to clean below the waterline.

I'm not actually asking for my son to clean the toilet, just to wipe away solid waste down the side of the bowl. There's no need for him to make any contact with the toilet water, once the loo roll has wiped it down to the waterline, thats when you let go. I also don't expect that he will manage to get every last smidge, just to make an effort to get the worst of it off.

I have an old baby bath bottle next to my loo just for this reason. If there is matter stuck to the side, I fill up the bottle and squirt it at the stuff. It usually gets rid of it without having to put hands down there.

My DS isn't quite old enough to do that himself yet, but he'll be learning.

I fill the bottle up with water, I meant to say!

So efemera, if you had a house guest or visitor who made a mess, would you expect them to clean up with toilet paper? Or just leave it for you? It is unusual to find a toilet without a brush for the inevitable messy one.

Could you have some antibacterial wipes next to the loo for use in these circumstances? It would be more hygienic for your son and more successful in cleaning.

I taught my dc to do this from about the age of 5. We have loo brushes but just use toilet paper to clean messes like this. Not asking the kids to actually clean the toilets - that's a job for dh or me - just to clean up after themselves if necessary. (My dn does it too - she's 5)

Can I ask? He wipes his own bottom presumably? So why is that OK, but using a bit of loo roll to wipe his own poo off the side of the loo suddenly hideously unhygienic? Same poo. Same paper- just a different surface.

Keep a plastic jug in the bathroom.
Show him how to pour a jug of hot water down the loo after use.

I don't see the problem with loo brushes as long as they are kept clean and with some diluted bleach in the holder. It's much better to stick a brush in a stick down the loo than out your bare hand with a flimsy bit of tissue down the loo. They also do disposable loo brushes for those that are really toilet brush phobic. You use them once and flush them away.
I never even realised that so many people find loo brushes disgusting until I came on mumsnet. Bleach on its own it's just like spray painting over graffiti.