AIBU to expect my 10yr old to clean up toilet messes?

[efemera]

My 10 year old son is perfectly capable of using loo roll to wipe his backside, so I consider he should also be expected to use a small wodge of loo roll to wipe down any excess detritus that he may leave spread down the side of the toilet bowl when he hasn't been bothered to sit on the seat straight. I don't expect him to start flinging chemicals round, or expect it to be perfectly spotless, but is it unreasonable for him to make some effort? His father thinks that it's unhygienic as he may not wash his hands properly, whereas I argue there is no more (potential) exposure to fecal matter than wiping his bum.

Pudding - "YANBU
My DH still can't do this and, much as I love her, I blame his Mum!!"

Why would you blame his mum? Your DH is an adult, he can clean up if he wishes to, he just doesn't want to! And, it doesn't matter if his mum never made him, there will be lots of things he didn't do as a child that he does as an adult.

OP - YANBU

Appreciate you may not want us to talk about bog brushes, but I would not want my dc's to be getting in there with a wodge of paper.

If he has good aim, could he get up, turn around and piss it away?

If the toilet bowl is never brushed properly, the germs must be clinging onto the gunk on the side of the bowl. And you want people to put their hands down there?

Buerk

It's not brushed - it's scoured. Just because I clean it differently to you, doesn't mean I don't clean it.

I personally wouldn't want a 10 year old putting his hands down the toilet. It's mine or Dp's job.
I would keep getting on at the child about sitting correctly on the loo though to limit and hopefully avoid the mess.

Another who doesn't get what's wrong with brushes. How will the porcelain ever be cleaned. Bleach disinfects and stains but it doesn't clean.

Just seen your last post -
So you actually put your hand right down as far as the brush would go to clean the loo?
If you choose to do that it's fine I'm not having a go. Each to their own etc... just don't understand how it's more hygeinic than a brush.

Today, 9yo DS, for reasons unknown, sat on the top of the seat without noticing and managed to piss all over the cloakroom and himself.

...and yes, he got washed, dressed and then was given some dettol wipes to clean up the floor and toilet.

He was a bit pissed off about the whole thing. How on earth do you not check?

Show him how to use a loo brush. Any time he leaves skids call him back to clear them up. It's your responsibility to train a hygienic child who doesn't leave his shit about the place! Not nice if leaves skids at school or at friends houses.

YANBU.

I'm agog at those of you saying "it's my job to clean the toilets". What are you teaching your kids? That it's OK to leave a mess because Mum will clear it up?

We have a pack of loo wipes by every toilet, and the DCs (including 10yo DD2) have been shown what to do with them should they leave any skidmarks.

And DS (14) now knows how to unblock the loo with a bent coat hangar if he blocks it with too much paper. It's his crap, he is old enough to sort it out.

YANBU. 5yr old DSS2 isn't expected to clean up after himself fully but if he makes a mess and doesn't tell DH so they can sort it out together he gets told off. DSS1 is 8 and has SN and he's expected to clean up after himself.

We do our children a disservice if we don't teach them to be civilised. It's easily as important as making them do their homework, eat vegetables etc.

frogslegs - I consider it to be more hygienic because the sponge is then immediately disposed of instead of sitting around for the germs to breed on. I did used to use a loo brush, many moons ago, but found it almost impossible to clean under the rim, and no matter how much I bleached it, it always seemed to smell.

Thanks to all (well, most!) for their input so far.

I'm agog at those of you saying "it's my job to clean the toilets". What are you teaching your kids?

How not to get infected and contaminate things with disgusting toilet bacteria.
As the adult it is MY job and I don't see why so many are disgusted/offended by their own young dc's shite. Yeah, it's not the most pleasant thing to have to clean and I wouldn't do it for an adult.

How many of you trust that a 10 year old washes their hands as they should after touching the loo - as in a very thorough clean with hot soapy water.

I personally haven't made any of my Ds's tackle this until I knew they understood the importance of thorough hand washing and could be trusted to carry it out. So iirc around 13/14.

Thanks op for giving an explanation, you didn't have to. Like I said earlier I wasn't having a go.

frogslegs - I'm not remotely disgusted by my DC's shit, I just believe that at 10, 12 and 14 they are old enough to clear up after themselves and leave a toilet in a respectable state.

"How many of you trust that a 10 year old washes their hands as they should after touching the loo - as in a very thorough clean with hot soapy water."

Well, I trust them to wash their hands properly after wiping their own bottoms-what's the difference?

OH MY GOD. What do you think is down the toilet that is not on her son's arse?

Seriously think about it. What every lurking in the bog first came out of a bum. If he can't wash his hands properly then he's still walking around with the same germs.

And I say this as a devout user of a brush. It just works better.

YANBU to expect your ds to clean up after himself.
However, I agree with your dh and wouldn't expect anybody to clean inside a loo without the proper tools.
We have a brush and holder that is soaked in flash, also use toilet duck, or even a bucket of soapy water.

Why would you put your hand down there when there is a perfectly respectable brush with it's own handle to use?

My toilet brush doesn't stink however, it gets rinsed after the cleaning operation by the water that cascades down the bowl when I flush the damn loo, and the mild bleach in the toilet brush holder finishes the job off.

My friend sacked her cleaner because she refused to put a rubber glove on and scrub down through the water trap and up the pipe at the back......

I wouldn't have waited to be sacked! I'd have run as fast as a crap hits the bend .

YANBU, your son's future spouse will love you for it.

You are definitely not BU, Efemera. It is never too early to start waging what I like to call 'poo wars'. You are paying it forward, so to speak, to anybody who might have to share living quarters with your ten year old in years to come!

(I won't have loo brushes in my house either, because the poo offenders, when they remember to use the brush, simply bung it back into the holder, encrusted with faeces)

X post with cereal queen.

There's a big difference between wiping your own atse and only coming into contact with your own germs, than sticking an ungloved hand down a toilet with the germs of multiple people and cross contamination!

financeprincess - that isn't a design flaw in the toilet brush, you just live with disgusting people who don't see what's wrong with leaving their mess on the loo brush.

Even my 9 year old knows that when he has used the loo brush he needs to wait for the cistern to refill so that he can flush the toilet again to clean the brush and that he can then put it back in the holder where there is bleach to kill any remaining bacteria.

Out of curiosity, what do people do with the cloth and gloves that they have used to clean the toilet? Do they bin them each time? I would get through a lot of gloves and cloths if I did that and would conclude (If I had toilet brush phobia) that the single use biodegradable toilet brushes are a better option.