To be utterly sick of the fussy eaters are made brigade

[ButterdickCumberscotch]

Title says it all.

I am so fed up of people assuming that my dd1 is fussy about food because I have made her that way, that I just feed her junk and sweets and if I only let her go hungry she would eat what is put in front of her.

She has come such a long way from being the 2 year old that would not eat anything but still has a long list of things she will not eat. Certain textures or something unexpected in her food makes her gag. Trying new foods is not something she enjoys although she is slowly getting braver.

And yes we sent her to bed many a time leaving an untouched dinner and it didn't make a difference. Her appetite is minuscule at the best of times and she'll happily skip a meal.

And why do people assume that because she has a small appetite and doesn't like a lot of foods that this means she must eat nothing but processed food? Her list of likes includes things like beef stew, porridge, eggs and many fruits and vegetables. Her dislikes are many but include pizza, chips and processed meats. So no, we don't feed her from a Findus freezer every night.

And then there is DD2. Loves nothing better than a home cooked meal and eats way more than her sister, yet has always been a tiny skinny thing. They are just different in their make up and eating habits.

I wish a 'fussy' eater upon those who are routinely smug about the fact they have been fortunate enough to have a child that does not have issues with food. AIBU?

YANBU!!!

Can I add (as I need to and here seems appropriate) whenever I mention an issue I have with DC - ie last night DD1 has a massive temper fit/tantrum and today I feel battered and sad and tired - he chips in with "my DT never behaved like that" completely fucking missing the point that he was a NON RESIDENT PARENT and sees them every month or 2!!!

TY

YANBU I am an awful fussy eater even have issues about food touching on the plate . DM tried everything she could and I literally refused to eat and would go one or two weeks eating almost no food. My poor mothers heart was broke with me and she worried herself ill. I still have food issues and always will but have improved a bit (still not with the food touching though)

DS eats anything and everything (apart from chips which he hates).

my dnephew had serious issues with food as a young child. this improved when he hit about 9 or so. but even now he is 14 he will have times, especially with company when he reverts to eating very basic foods.

its nothing to do with how he was brought up.

My firstborn will eat pretty much anything. I was feeling very pleased with my excellent parenting skills. Until I had the second. He is fussy, I've done nothing differently.

My DS(5) was fed homemade baby food and his favourite dinner was a roast with all the veg until he was 2, he then refused to eat any vegetables at all. We even had a 3 month period where he ate only jam sandwiches for lunch and dinner while DH and I would be eating a massive variety of foods.
It's a crap position to be in and it makes you feel like a failure but certainly not all fussy eaters are made

I was reading about the Donner party story the other day, which was a group of families in the wagon trail era of America which got separated and isolated in a snowy valley for months with no supplies, the men died trying to find help and the women and children basically ate boiled up animal skins/bones to survive, before resorting to eating flesh of those who'd passed away. Awful stuff however my point is they kept diaries and it states in one that a child and a woman were both 'averse' (physically vomiting and getting quite ill) to eating the boiled up skins and animal hide to the point where another woman sneaked them bits of dried beef she'd been saving because they didn't die. So the survival instinct just didn't override their inability to keep such unappetizing food down. Which I think is a very interesting argument, speaking as a child who would happily (primary school aged) have a bite of toast for breakfast then hide ny packed lunch and have acute of healthy, home cooked meal for dinner. I honestly would rather have gone hungry, my appetite only kicked in aged around 14 or 15 and even know certain elements of foods I struggle with. My siblings raised the same way eat most everything. I am more able to force myself to eat things now I'm an adult, though, in order to be socially acceptable!

My superior parenting skills ensured that DS ate a varied diet and always enjoyed his fruit and vegetables.

Then DD came along...I don't think more than a few grams of fruit and vegetables have passed her lips, she's 13 now.

Poncey, have you even bothered to read any of these posts?

We have a take it or leave it policy here
Well good for you!
The fussy eaters I know tend to be kids who are allowed to rule the roost in most respects
How sanctimonious!

The above-mentioned PFB, who ate anything, became fussier and fussier as his Autism became more apparent. I guess tat was my fault too, for pandering to him?

Its bullshit Sauvignon dont rise, I fed my DD everything, she got sick and developed a phobia, shit happens and we do our best those that have had it easy are lucky but should t dare put it down to their superior parenting

Fussy eaters ! You can't "make " a fussy they just "are"
People who know nothing about this subject should keep their opinions to themselves as they have no idea how annoying they are. Don't worry op , most of these people who comment on how you made your child fussy have other issues but don't publish them.
Well done for doing so well , it's gets better but very slowly .

gingee that is fascinating. I am so averse to flesh that I would definitely be the first to die if in that situation. I really couldn't keep it down and it would over-ride the survival instinct.

I keep using the phrase this week but it's the 'Just World' system of thinking isn't it. It's easier to blame then accept a world of raw inequality.

Some are definitely made. My dad is a very fussy eater, I picked up on it. Never ever had fast food or ready meals though, all fresh home made stuff. I had an element of choice but I most certainly wasn't allowed to have any meal I wanted or 'ruled the roost'. I liked all vegetables but wouldn't eat stuff like baked beans or pizza for example. As an adult I'm very non fussy, I grew out of it. I think a lot of fussy children do actually as they grow up and want to eat out with friends etc.

Some kids will obviously be fussy because they're allowed to dictate everything all the time but they're definitely in the minority.

Then we have the ones who really do have an issue with textures and flavours, to the point where it genuinely makes them gag and they will starve rather than eat the thungs they can't stand.

Anyone who's smug about their kids eating anything is misguided in my opinion, you simply got lucky. You could have another one, bring them up exactly the same and still end up with a child who refuses virtually anything.

It has been interesting to read the responses here. It looks like there are some distinct types of fussy eater: I was one of those who happily ate most vegetables, as long as they weren't cooked. I still enjoy eating quite a lot of veg raw now. I also didn't eat much junk food, although I did/do like crisps.
The aversion to sauces and mixed foods seems to be quite a recognisable one, too.

According to some annoying, on their way to being ex friends of ours, my DD is fussy. She isn't. She doesn't like fish. She will eat tuna mayonnaise if it is offered, but only that, and if there is another choice, she will take it.
According to them, she absolutely should not have had some veggie bake things out of the freezer heated up, at absolutely no bother to anyone. She should have been given a piece of salmon like everyone else, which she would possibly take one bite out of, then ignore. DH and I like fish. She doesn't. I agree that children's preferences should be taken into account. Ironically, the same people are always wittering on about how AWFUL it is to waste food.

I heard once that aid workers in refugee camps, where there is a very limited selection of food, have commented that selective (or 'fussy') eating can be a huge problem. My dad (never a picky eater) was a child refugee at the start of WW2 and my Polish gran's injunction to eat up and clear one's plate (which I remember from my own childhood) was definitely intensified by the need for survival. I still recall her enormous, intimidating Christmas feasts which included challenging tastes like sauerkraut with mushrooms and beetroot soup, and how uncomfortably full they made me feel. I like them, but can completely understand how off-putting it must be to face something like that if you have physical or sensory issues with food, and I would never press it on anyone the way my gran did.

I was also a very fussy eater up until about 11.

I hated any hot food apart from beans.

I got over it.

I'm sure I've read stories from WWII evacuation camps, where children have caused worry to their parents by refusing various foods. Is there something in Anne Frank's diary about it, or am I mixing it up with something else?

My eldest would eat anything and I assumed that it was down to the varied diet that we gave him. I was obviously wrong because my second child was very fussy until recently.

The main difference between my children is their differing interest in food. Ds1 has always been interested in food and always hungry. Ds2 has a small appetite and can take it or leave it. I think because ds2 doesn't get peckish it naturally means he is more likely to be fussy.

Ds2 was very underweight at one stage and the GP/HV advised me to give him whatever he wanted but only feed him at mealtimes and to take the food away if it wasn't eaten. This advice went against my natural instincts and I did the complete opposite. He is now almost 4 and improving to the point where I wouldn't say that he is particularly fussy anymore.

TheSmallClanger you seem to be my DS grown up. Funny!

Have you any tips for me about how I should handle him?

I would have been over the moon if my DS ate junk food.

He survived on plain pasta and cereal for years.

I dreamed of the day he would eat a McDonalds.

That certainly seems to be the case from the kids I know OP, I mean that children are all different and some seem to be fussy from early on. My friend has one DC that is really fussy and another that isn't at all. My dd is not fussy but at the same time she has certain things she loathes.

At school we've found a few things that have helped, fun tasting sessions with no pressure applied, lots of cooking activities, etc but in the end some children are still very reluctant to eat certain foods or try something new.

It makes me laugh when people say "no child will starve themself"

Err actually they will.

DD lasted 4 days with nurses visiting twice a day before we hospitalised her. She was 2.

She's had every physical test going, there is no reason that she can't eat, she just won't. Unless it suits her.

SouthernComforts ds2 ended up on the 75th centile for height and the 2nd for weight! HV described him as 'borderline malnourished'!. So yes in my experience children will happily starve themselves!