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AIBU?

To not know who from the Musketeers I'd boff first.

999 replies

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 20/02/2014 16:15

It's doing my head in. 5 leading actors and I fancy ALL of them. I tried to pick the one I fancied most when he was a simple cartoon dog and that was Aramis, but just one look as sexy Richelieu in his black cloak of evil and I'm a gooey mess.

It's turned me into such a tart, but IABU to want all of them. No? Ok thanks.

OP posts:

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MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 08:10

If Blobby was in this wearing leather wielding a sword with wild hair and the right kind of facial hair perhaps I'd add him to the list too?!

Process of elimination is as follows, it's the only way I'm going to manage to find a winner. Cockfactor final 2014!

Aramis is a bit of a womaniser. He seems to constantly have an eye on the ladies, this would do my head in. I'd forever be on here asking AIBU to want to slap him in a dramatic scorned heroine fashion because he'd just given some busty wench the eye.

Athos has some real issues. He's not over his ex who is now hanging out with the Cardinal and he drinks far too much. However he has a very sexy voice and my god he knows what to do with a sword! He needs the love of a good woman, but I don't think I could be arsed with his moodiness long term, but I'd sure as hell ride him like a racehorse.

D'Artagnan seems a bit stupid and would probably annoy me with how pretty he is too. I'd want to slap other women if the looked at him. He'd always be really nice, and I wouldn't want really nice all the time.

Richelieu would just kill me if I put a foot wrong. I think being a cardinal that means he doesn't get any action? Probably why he's so evil. I remember in that first episode he demanded his bit to undress for him, then later he had her shot. Fair enough she was going at it with Aramis too, but you'd just never know where you were with him unless you were as evil too. Still though if he were to finish me off after I'd erm...finished him off then that surely wouldn't be the worst way to go.

So the winner is Porthos! The only real possibility! He'd be dirty as hell in the sack and hung like a stallion. He doesn't seem to have many hang ups which is great! He'd probably be the best fun on a night out and has a look a bit like he wouldn't mind sharing me with his friends after a few pints.

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 21/02/2014 08:17

You certainly have given a few moments of your time to consider your shagging verdict OP .

Can't think of many better ways for you to spend your time, I must admit.

LetUsPrey · 21/02/2014 08:28

Excellent logical approach there

For those who like Athos, Tom Burke was very good in a film called Third Star. It also starred JJ Feild who played Marsac in the Musketeers the other week.

Aramis - yes, yes please

LeBearPolar · 21/02/2014 08:33

ROFL at LetUsPrey with Third Star also starring JJ Feild.

AND BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!

Sorry for shouting but really...

Oblomov · 21/02/2014 08:40

I agree with Op's analysis. Every word.

LetUsPrey · 21/02/2014 08:40

Does it LeBearPolar? Gosh, erm, hadn't noticed. Not why I bought it at all

Oblomov · 21/02/2014 08:57

musketeers

L-R: Porthos, D'artagnan, Athos, Aramis.

Athos - Tom Burke - moody. Thought wife was dead.
Aramis - Santiago Cabrera - womaniser.
Porthos - Howard Charles - dark and mysterious.
D'artagnan -Luke Pasqualino - Dim but beautiful.

Cardinal Richelieu - Peter Capaldi - Evil.

LeBearPolar · 21/02/2014 10:06

LetUsPrey.

I hope DH never inspects the LoveFilm list too closely to see what the recent additions have in common

He does know why a woman who had never watched Star Trek in her life suddenly became its biggest fan though... Bit difficult to disguise that.

motherinferior · 21/02/2014 10:22

Nice summary, Oblomov.

I'd risk it for the Cardinal, frankly.

Littlegreyauditor · 21/02/2014 10:36

Aramis is hot in real life too. He has good hair and doesn't need the leather although I would be quite specifically requiring the leather

Porthos is burly and stridey and also hot. I suspect he has hidden depths.

Athos has issues. I think he would be uptight. This could be very good or very bad.

Capaldi is always fabulous. I love a Scot.

D'Artagnan is just too pretty. I don't do pretty. I can handle farting and stubble. I can handle socks on the bathroom floor. I cannot handle a man spending more time on his hair than I do.

Really I'm not that fussy, but given the opportunity that ^ would be my running order.

motherinferior · 21/02/2014 10:42

I am surprised at the extent of Porthos-love. I thought it was my own filthy weakness.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 10:54

He had a glimmer in his eye like he'd take you outside after a goblet or two of ale, lead you up an alley and take you very enthusiastically over the nearest chicken house. It seems this is the glimmer mumsnetters rather approve of non? Oui.

Oh lala Porthos votre saucisse est longue et large! Utilisez-solide.

OP posts:

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 21/02/2014 10:58

I'm glad you all think D'Artagnan is too much of a pretty boy - that leaves him for me

LeBearPolar · 21/02/2014 11:09

Get your hands off my man, you bee-atch!

LeBearPolar · 21/02/2014 11:12

"Athos has issues. I think he would be uptight. This could be very good or very bad."

Littlegreyauditor - you see, I lean towards the very good. Because of course, I would be the woman to help him let go of those issues, get over his not-dead ex, and then he would be utterly filthy.

Stinklebell · 21/02/2014 11:16

LePolarbear. Yes, I agree. I reckon under all the issues and moodiness, he's really filthy.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 11:25

Angry with his sword and angry with his cock! That can be Athos's new motto.

OP posts:

Stinklebell · 21/02/2014 11:29

All that intensity can only be a good thing

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 11:50

Do you think there's a chance that the others would sex Dogtanian up a bit? You know so that he's a filth longer when he's older? He'd be a bit too virginal at the moment I reckon. Enthusiastic but a bit like a humping puppy. He has that look of just wanting to kiss and hold hands. BORING. Still nice to look at though!

OP posts:

Vintagebeads · 21/02/2014 12:08

YANBU
Aramis..just devine . I dont see how any of the others compare.They better not cancel it after one season like almost everything else they show

Stinklebell · 21/02/2014 12:13

He'd be a bit too virginal at the moment I reckon. Enthusiastic but a bit like a humping puppy.

Yes, I think he's just a bit too pretty at the moment. I'm not saying I'd say no, in the unlikely event that he threw himself down at my feet and begged, but it would feel a bit wrong

Arachnid is a bit to pretty and clean looking for my liking too

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 12:14

It's got another series! Although Capaldi isn't in it. Boo. I'll have to just fantasise about him taking me on the TARDIS console instead. Sigh.

OP posts:

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Stinklebell · 21/02/2014 12:14

Arachnid - Aramis

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 21/02/2014 12:15

Arachnid! There's an 8 armed one??!

OP posts:

Littlegreyauditor · 21/02/2014 12:17

The impression I get from all of this is that an awful lot of us seem to want filth and possibly a bit rough round the edges...but mainly filth.

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