If Blobby was in this wearing leather wielding a sword with wild hair and the right kind of facial hair perhaps I'd add him to the list too?!
Process of elimination is as follows, it's the only way I'm going to manage to find a winner. Cockfactor final 2014!
Aramis is a bit of a womaniser. He seems to constantly have an eye on the ladies, this would do my head in. I'd forever be on here asking AIBU to want to slap him in a dramatic scorned heroine fashion because he'd just given some busty wench the eye.
Athos has some real issues. He's not over his ex who is now hanging out with the Cardinal and he drinks far too much. However he has a very sexy voice and my god he knows what to do with a sword! He needs the love of a good woman, but I don't think I could be arsed with his moodiness long term, but I'd sure as hell ride him like a racehorse.
D'Artagnan seems a bit stupid and would probably annoy me with how pretty he is too. I'd want to slap other women if the looked at him. He'd always be really nice, and I wouldn't want really nice all the time.
Richelieu would just kill me if I put a foot wrong. I think being a cardinal that means he doesn't get any action? Probably why he's so evil. I remember in that first episode he demanded his bit to undress for him, then later he had her shot. Fair enough she was going at it with Aramis too, but you'd just never know where you were with him unless you were as evil too. Still though if he were to finish me off after I'd erm...finished him off then that surely wouldn't be the worst way to go.
So the winner is Porthos! The only real possibility! He'd be dirty as hell in the sack and hung like a stallion. He doesn't seem to have many hang ups which is great! He'd probably be the best fun on a night out and has a look a bit like he wouldn't mind sharing me with his friends after a few pints.