to wonder if my boss has Aspergers?

[Katiep10]

I work for a smallish company - about 100 people in an open plan office. The long and short of it is that she drives people insane and has quite a complex personality and i wonder if there is more to it though.

She is late forties and has never been in a long term relationship despite talking a lot about how much she would like one. She is, however, extremely picky and is often very rude about people's appearances so I wonder if this has something to do with in in a small way. She is a bit of a joke in the office and once she engages you in conversation it is impossible to get away, sometimes she can talk (about absolutely nothing) for as long as 30 mins without drawing breath or noticing that the other person hasn't said a word. Her conversation is painfully dull (never known anything like it). She can often be very blunt and rude to people and quite frankly, leave you open-mouthed at the things she comes out with. She is quite draining to be with every day, 5 days a week because she is extremely intense, and no matter how hard i try, i just cannot ever seem to have just a normal conversation with her because she gets over excited and dominates.

I have wondered on occasion if she may suffer from undiagnosed Aspergers. Although i feel sorry for her (and I do try to stick up for her when people take the p1ss) I am finding her behavious increasingly more exhausting and i leave work with my ears absolutely ringing to the extent that i consider leaving a job i love because her behaviour annoys me so much. Does anyone have any experience of this? Ultimately i wish she knew the impact she has on people and could in some way try to temper her behaviour as i do have enormous sympathy for her because she is quite a lonely character.

sadly though I shiver you only tend to learn about ASD if you look after someone or love someone very deeply who is on the autistic spectrum sure I knew the signs and symptons but until my precious child was diagnosed I had no idea how it affects the whole family ?

Why do you think she posted this then?

She might have Aspergers but tbh it's not really anyone else's business, how do you know she hasn't already been diagnosed? She's not likely to announce it to her work force.

You will probably find a lot of people who are in charge of a company or in a high end job may be on the spectrum, that's because they are very reliable, concentrate on the job ( which they usually have great passion for ), are always on time and work very hard, they are often very intelligent people.

On the other hand, she may not be on the spectrum and might just struggle with withholding the truth ( speaks her mind without thinking ).

My dd1 has Aspergers, she has a great sense of humour, can get carried away talking ( if it's something she is interested in she finds it hard to stop ) and she often speaks her mind, I hope when she's older that people except her for who she is.

Just one example www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a714089-To-Be-Peeved-with-the-guy-from-the-CAB#14556598
OP is talking about a rude person, someone says 'are you sure they don't have AS?' Yet nobody jumps down their throat saying it's disablist.

I'm not saying that AS = rude by the way, just questioning why someone who stops and thinks that maybe there is a reason behind someone else's behaviour is insulted rather than educated.

Yes he will be getting his jollies from the abuse ao I wouldn't waste my time.

I think my fil may have had mild aspergers. He was charming - if a bit tedious and difficult. What made me thing that. He had to have the same things for breakfast in a particular order, he got upset if his routine was messed with, he had little conversation, he was quite difficult and quiet in company, if you got him on a subject he slightly obsessed with he could go off for at least 45 minutes about trolley buses or how he got a particular qualificattion, he had no empathy with other people and couldn't see a joke someone else was making, he had obsessions, he couldn't make small talk at all. But he was innately sane and kind.

Crohnically. With respect. A lot of people are hurt by this thread so your insistence on trying to make them look hypocritical is a bit insensitive.

Marne-good post. Thank you for a sensible response. I read the OP's post and didn't get the impression she was being disrespectful to SN.

Omfg! I cannot believe this thread. Yes, people everyone with ASD is tedious and difficult. All person's with ASD are obsessed and have no empathy. Unfucking real..

Is the person who did that on that thread on this thread arguing agaist it?
or is it different people with a different view?
it is not hypocrisy if I have an opinion that differs from that of another mner.

that's because they are very reliable,
I'm not

concentrate on the job
My goldfish have a longer attention span than me

( which they usually have great passion for ),
I've hated every job I've ever had

are always on time
I'm late for everything.

and work very hard,
I'd like to think I do but to be honest, I'm quite lazy.

they are often very intelligent people.
My IQ is off the scale, however my ability to make use of it is pretty non-existent so my 'in practise' intelligence is just above that of the doughnut I ate earlier.

It is different people with a different view. I'm not trying to make anyone look hypocritical, it wasn't me that brought the word up. I'm just pointing out that it makes me laugh how 2 OPs with opposite views can BOTH be unreasonable. This OP for bringing up AS, the other OP for not bringing it up.

I think AwfulMaureen's post was good, because she wasn't rude or insulting to the OP yet still managed to point out why she was unreasonable.

he had no empathy with other people

Current research shows that people with Asperger's have more empathy than normal.

Yes.
by different people.
why does that make you laugh?
different people expressing different opinions on different threads has no meaning at all in relation to each other.

I like your post westie mama nobody on the spectrum is typical my little boy is supposed to be obsessive very definatley is not, hate physical contact very definatley seeks it out ,have no sense of humour very definatley does. I could go on and on!

Aye, if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie.

I don't think op meant it to be nasty, as a mum of 2 children on the spectrum I didn't find it overly offensive, yes, maybe it could have been worded slightly differently.

I spend a lot of time trying to raise awareness of As/ASD in hope for a better life for my dd's when they are older, I want them to be accepted and to be able to hold down a job without people judging them bit also for people to be understanding to why they behave the way they do ( yes, dd1 can be rude, she can't lie, and she often talks fast without others being able to get a word in ). The op obviously has some awareness of what AS is and the fact it may effect the persons social skills and it may come across as them being rude, I would rather someone assumed my dd's are on the spectrum rather than assuming they are being rude.

True westie.
the sensory overload triggers self protecting behaviours, ive read that.

I think the op's post was hamfisted, but the response of HOW DARE you mention aspergers in any context wasn't proportionate or helpful.

I dont think she was being rude or trying to self diagnose autism, but trying to find an explanation for why her boss acts in a certsin way. In the public mind some of the behaviours she mentioned are often thought of as being signs of aspergers. Okay shr might not have been terribly well informed, but I didn't read any malice into the post.

It makes me laugh because of the juxtaposition (is that the right word?) of the two views. Because I can so easily imagine the reaction the OP would have got had she worded it differently. Because the way some people react, it's as if there is a big mumsnet gavel that bangs and says 'the view on this shall be thus and shall remain so forevermore' like with weddings and money requests, so I'm always surprised when two opposing views are 'passed' without one of the other side piping up.

And westie, please read my post again, I never said 'all people with AS are intelligent, reliable and passionate about the job, I said 'a lot are'.

I am on the spectrum ( not diagnosed ), I know we are all different, a person on the spectrum is not the same as another on the spectrum, just the same as 2 nt people are not the same, I have poor memory skills but when I'm working I work hard and am very reliable, I have slipped up a couple times by saying things I shouldn't ( which resulted in upsetting a few people ) because I tend to speak my mind without thinking but I am not the same as my other person, I am me.

So what if she does have aspergers OP? What difference will it make for you to know? She might have and know it- she doesnt have to tell anyone. Ita her business not yours.