Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

to think that if you don't conceive within about 3 months...

185 replies

DaftOne · 18/02/2014 13:03

... It's likely that you're going to take a long time to conceive?

Posting here rather than conception as just want an open and honest conversation. Really don't want to upset anyone.

Totally anecdotal. It just seems to me that of the people I know, they either get pregnant immediately every time or they have long struggles on their hands. There don't seem to be many "in betweenies" who take between 4-10 months. I'm basically wondering if statistics are misleading, comprising of averaging out those who get pregnant immediately and those who take ages and ages.

(TTC 5 months now and a bit impatient... Can you tell?)

OP posts:

HarderToKidnap · 18/02/2014 14:13

Seven months to get DS, only 5 cycles though. Currently just had fifth cycle trying for DC 2, this time it's been six months. BF took nine months first time, and is 8 weeks pg with her second which took 6 months. Other friend took four months both times. Another friend four months. Another friend took 12 months for DC1 then two months DC2. I can think of loads and loads of inbetweenies, a couple of straightaways and one or two who needed proper help.

I also ask this question as part of my job. Most people are inbetweenies with a roughly equal split between the straightaways and the proper help. I reckon 65-15-10 split.

It is very frustrating though when you know (or think you know.....WHY haven't they invented Fallopian cams yet?) that an egg is up there and sperm are up there and the bastards still aren't meeting up and sorting it out!!! They just do, eventually and normally when you've done nothing different. Frustratingly random.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/02/2014 14:14

DS was conceived on honeymoon . We were at it like rabbits.

Next pregnancy took about 3-4 cycles but sadly I miscarried. Currently pregnant again two cycles afterwards.

I used the clear blue fertility monitor. This one was conceived from one time!

Five months isn't long at all, but it feels like it.

clockwatching77 · 18/02/2014 14:14

2 years with no. 1
3 months with next. (Mmc)
3 months no 2
No 3 accident

Original poster

DaftOne · 18/02/2014 14:19

HarderToKidnap You just made me laugh - I think that's what I imagine, that the sperm and egg are both up there but they're both too shy to introduce themselves and are bashfully shuffling from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact like kids at a school disco. Come on guys, get a grip!

OP posts:

BeeInYourBonnet · 18/02/2014 14:20

Pg 3 times, each on month 3.

Dwerf · 18/02/2014 14:25

daftone I guess some of it's just luck? With ds it was one drunken night apparently "too early" in my cycle to get pregnant on. Yup, that worked. With dd3 I'd only had the coil out three weeks and had a bfp. The practice nurse was a bit shocked.

sleepyhead · 18/02/2014 14:43

DaftOne, if ViviPru's film is the one I've seen, it's more like the egg behaving like a bouncer in a very exclusive club going "nope, not coming in, nope not you mate, not in those trainers, not on the list mate, sorry we're full" as all these sperm jostle and bounce around the outside

CleverClod · 18/02/2014 14:48

24, 12 and finally, 1.

Go figure!

frumpet · 18/02/2014 14:49

One episode of intercourse for ds1 and dd , took a year of intercourse without protection to get ds2 , but towards the end of that year used the ovulation calculator on here and bingo ! Ds1 and dd were not at all planned , which is ironic really .

Original poster

DaftOne · 18/02/2014 14:50

Haha sleepyhead! I can well believe that I would have an awkwardly choosy egg and DH's sperm would show up looking a bit scruffy. This scenario seems eminently plausible to me!

OP posts:

ViviPru · 18/02/2014 14:56

My scenario is more like the sperms taking their own sweet time and getting distracted on the way... meanwhile the egg is massively impatient, gets tired of waiting around so just does one.

That or the sperm never get round to making the journey at all because they're glued to the internet researching the best route and most drag-resistant sperm-suit and before they know it the mucus ship has sailed.

I have officially exhausted the metaphor.

Tailtwister · 18/02/2014 15:02

I think it depends. Not everyone has a text book cycle and if they believe they ovulate on a particular day when they don't, they could just be missing the right time.

DS1 took 8 years to conceive and several rounds of IVF. DS2 was conceived naturally the first month trying. An extreme example I know and it's actually surprisingly common for that to happen.

SeraphinaSparklePants · 18/02/2014 15:15

8 months for DC1.
2 months for DC2.

We were going through a bad time (particularly DH) with bereavement and health issues when we were trying for DS1. Really, it wasn't the right time. We left it for a couple of months, then it happened straight away.
We didn't have any of the stresses when conceiving DS2, and DH was in much better health.
It's hard not to get obsessed when it feels like it's taking longer than you had hoped. I'm a bit ashamed of the pressure I put on DH the first time round, I had total tunnel vision towards becoming pregnant.
Good luck OP. I hope it happens soon for you.

rabbitlady · 18/02/2014 16:03

not convinced.

Locketjuice · 18/02/2014 16:08

Ds was 5 months, dd was 9 months with a failed pill attempt in between

aworkingmummy · 18/02/2014 16:10

I know a lot of people who conceived within first 3 months, took me 9 years (sadly miscarried) then got pregnant again 14 months later resulting in DS.
We'd both given up, resigned ourselves to being childless, went on holiday and the rest is history!

BlueDesmarais · 18/02/2014 16:19

Not really. I think you've got about a 1 in 7 chance every cycle, so missing out 3 times is the same chance and same fertility level as someone who misses out 11 times. Just the way it goes.

Took me 6 months, and thus 6 cycles, to conceive my son despite ovulation tests and sex all around the ovulatory period. It wasn't sinister, it just meant all the tiny failing - duff sperm one month, duff egg next month, duff lining the third month.

Got my daughter on the third go. Didn't do anything special, just the roll of the dice.

And plenty of people get there 'first time'!

dustarr73 · 18/02/2014 16:21

My first i was caught on the pill.I had a miscarriage with that one.Waited 2 years and took me 6 months to get pregnant.Was pregnant again when baby was only 3 months old.
Then was really careful for a few years.Then next 2 pregnancies were mcs.Then had ds3 in 2008,ds4 in 2009 and ds5 in 2011.
I do think sometimes your just not ready for it and your body puts the kyboosh on it.

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 18/02/2014 16:32

YABU, some people are uber fertiles and get pregnant first try. Most don't.

lookingfoxy · 18/02/2014 16:36

I got pregnant first try with ds, again pregnant first time twice when ttc dd which didnt stick but 3rd time lucky and she stayed in. Ive heard of hyper fertility which means you fall pregnant easily but due to quality they dont stay put.

Yonineedaminute · 18/02/2014 17:04

I remember watching that bbc programme about creation and the rugby player with the 'monumental sample' of sperm!

There was also another programme on a while called 'the great sperm race' I think where they used real people to represent the sperm and again I was just astonished at how anyone ever gets pregnant, it seemed pretty much impossible unless you do it at exactly the right second, and even then there were all sorts of obstacles trying to get in their way!

Yonineedaminute · 18/02/2014 17:07

I know what you mean though op, most people I know either seemed to conceive quickly (me included 3 months for first and 2 months for second) or takes a long time. But as others have said, I guess most people who are more 'inbetweeners' just don't mention it as much?

MojitoMadness · 18/02/2014 17:14

I don't know. It took me nearly 3 years to get pregnant at all, then I miscarried. Took another year to get pregnant with dd1. Yet dd2 was an "accident" after having not using contraception for a month (because we kept forgetting to buy condoms ). So I'm a bit of one and the other.

kicksandgiggles · 18/02/2014 17:15

I think it's difficult to tell anything from statistics as you have no way of knowing whether people "trying" means they are simply having sex every now and again without contraception or are at it like rabbits all month to make sure all bases are covered - or somewhere in between.

There are so many factors involved, not just sperm meeting egg. I know that for me, getting rid of stress and having loads of sex did the trick. It took me one month to conceive DS and five months to conceive this time - although we only DTD loads three of those cycles, and I conceived two of those (cycle four was a chemical pregnancy). The two cycles I conceived this time were also after getting past a majorly stressful period at work.

So, yes, YABU But good luck!

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 18/02/2014 17:15

I think that's right. very quick or not happening are talked about but I bet the actual average is probably up to a year.

for us it was about 10 months for the first and about 3 months for the second.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8