to ask so what if people think that?

[pinkbluegreenyellow]

Friend recently had a baby boy. Her DH goes on about how 'strong' he is, how big and tall, how much bigger than other baby boys he is. Fine. He is a big guy himself.

What irks is any suggestion that his son might, god forbid, appear 'girly' to others. For example, his son was gifted a t shirt that had a pink stripe in it. It's being given to charity as 'no son of mine wears pink. Don't want you being mistaken for a girl'. Friend's cousin allows her small ds to dress up in both cowboy and princess outfits and this is met with a sneer too.

Leaving aside the notion that pink is for girls, I want to shout so fucking what if people think he's a girl?? Like being a girl is weak and pathetic? I get that you might want people to assign the correct gender to your child but is there the same fear attached to people thinking your child might be a boy? As in , I can't dress her in blue, I don't want people to think she's a boy?

Your last paragraph sums up my feelings there, blah.

Have no problem with either of my DCs breaking social conventions but when they are of an age to understand them in the first place.

Mumsnet...the only place i know where you could get slammed for thinking boys shouldn't be prancing around in fairy outfits!

To embarrass you? Why would it? It was to relieve MYSELF of the embarrassment of not understanding half the stuff you wrote! Rather than pretend to understand it I openly admitted I did not. You then responded by saying it didn't surprise you which I took to mean you believed I was not the brightest and I agreed.

I know I'm below average intelligence because I struggle with things most people do not, results from exams indicate I am not very clever (grade E at GCSE maths four times over!) and I suppose I just know, in the same way people know they are clever.

I certainly wasn't trying to embarrass you. I felt embarrassed because I didn't understand.

This has turned into a personal fight.

Yes of course you are. Its obvious from your spelling and grammar and vocabulary.

I am of course being sarcastic.

Hmm I don think you was mrsd I've recognised your posts and always respected your views but I think that was below the belt. When you resort to pulling posts apart through spelling it just shows pettiness.

The fact you work with in learning disability and have a child with one doesn't not make it ok to poke fun at people then hide behind 'I was being sarcastic '

If YOU want to break down social norms, do what you want, but allowing your children to do this is not right, not when they don't even realise they are doing it.

Would you really be happy and accepting if you DC's male teacher wore a dress? Or if you went to A&E and a male nurse attended your child wearing a nurses dress? Seriously??

I live in central London. A boy in a frock wouldn't last 5 minutes around here without being ridiculed. That's just the way it is! I don't make the social norms before i get further flamed for that, just stating a fact that the estates around here are rough and it just wouldn't happen!

I have a mate who is Transgender, it took years of agonising before she felt ready to admit it, though she tried to let little bits of that part of her nature show in the nail polish she chose to match her boilersuit (she's an engineer).

Her parents initially disowned her, her employers are suddenly finding fault with everything she does and most of her friends have evaporated like the morning mist.

I've found a stat that says that 41% of transgender people will attempt to commit suicide.

Perhaps if more people were accepting and supportive of people's right to express who they are in whatever clothes/accessories/pastimes they feel comfortable with this wouldn't be the case and no one would care what someones nail polish might, or might not indicate.

My husband is partial to a little sparkle on the toenails under his work boots by the way.

Well that definitely wasn't the intention from my part and I certainly wasn't trying to embarrass anyone, I don't personally choose to dress or let my children dress themselves in clothes for the opposite sex to them but I don't think I have issues - I worry about bullying but that's because of my own experiences.

I just like girls clothes on girls and boys clothes on boys.

Ok mrs d - either way I'm not intelligent and I won't pretend to be and that limits my understanding.

I STILL really care about my kids - as I am sure you do about yours.

Your use of 'prancing' is interesting.

Huh? Why so?

Your ability to argue your point and your vocabulary indicate that your intelligence is not below average. If it was significantly below average you would have a LD. You don't.

Wow and now your an expert.

Get off her back

Sorry if this is going massively off topic but I do feel the need to clarify that I never have claimed to have a learning disability. I don't consider myself to be clever but there's a massive difference between not being intelligent and having special needs.

Sorry - just didn't want anyone thinking I've said I have a LD when I don't!

I think Winterlace is the only person with a similar view to me on this one. We dont allow our boys to wear GIRLS clothes. We must be terrible parents apparently

She was not trying to win an argument.She was saying that she did not understand your points.I am sorry but you seem to be the one trying to win an argument.I am just being honest.

MrsD I actually think you know full well what I meant! You said that I would spend a lifetime telling my children what they should be and I won't and I don't.

I really do care about them, yes, and I love them whatever they are or what they do. I'm getting emotional now pregnancy hormones but that - what you said - is SO far off the mark!

But I personally believe that by allowing them to stand our as different I would potentially be opening them up to bullying and I'd walk through hot coals before that happens. You disagree - I respect that. And before you say so I am not being sarcastic, I do respect views that differ to
Mine but they are still different and so we agree to disagree.

Can we please bury the hatchet as stupid stuff like this does upset me