to ask so what if people think that?

[pinkbluegreenyellow]

Friend recently had a baby boy. Her DH goes on about how 'strong' he is, how big and tall, how much bigger than other baby boys he is. Fine. He is a big guy himself.

What irks is any suggestion that his son might, god forbid, appear 'girly' to others. For example, his son was gifted a t shirt that had a pink stripe in it. It's being given to charity as 'no son of mine wears pink. Don't want you being mistaken for a girl'. Friend's cousin allows her small ds to dress up in both cowboy and princess outfits and this is met with a sneer too.

Leaving aside the notion that pink is for girls, I want to shout so fucking what if people think he's a girl?? Like being a girl is weak and pathetic? I get that you might want people to assign the correct gender to your child but is there the same fear attached to people thinking your child might be a boy? As in , I can't dress her in blue, I don't want people to think she's a boy?

She did not say she had a learning disability. You said she was saying that.She did not say it.

MrsO - I am starting to see that viewpoint and it's challenging my own stereotypes I suppose.

I suppose if it had been my son at the Christmas party is have worried about people pointing and laughing and I hated that as a child (still do!) and I've always been of the mindset I'll do what I can to help my kids fit in and make friends as I'm a friendly person myself and not having friends as a youngster was hard on me. But you're right in what you say.

If i saw a male nurse wearing a dress I woukd definately notice but then I am sure I would think well done to you.

MrsD, I don't think she's stirring but actually it is a bit upsetting being told over and over you've done this for this reason - and I didn't.

I am honestly sorry you've taken my posts the way you have but I was not in any way shape or form trying to embarrass you, win an argument (most of you disagree with me anyway!) or be passive aggressive. I really and truly wasn't.

But I personally believe that by allowing them to stand our as different I would potentially be opening them up to bullying and I'd walk through hot coals before that happens.

So how far will you take it? I'm honestly not trying to be pissy about this, children can get bullied for being any sort of different, smart, not smart, girly, boyey (?) (regardless of what gender they actually are), being short sighted, being tall, hair colour, skin colour, acne.

A lot of this you can't change are you going to ask them to hide it all.

Bullying isn't a symptom of something wrong with the bullied, it's a symptom of something wrong with the bully, surely the more children that go to school thinking that none of this stuff matters the less bullying there will be?

Yeah I am aren't I. I am pointing out that that is how I percieved it too.I am allowed?

Five I guess for me it would be (for example) I disagree with buying expensive items of clothing for children. But I would buy branded trainers for them if they were being bullied for not having them, if you see what I mean.

Winterlace that is fine to say I am stirring,I could not post what I read but I want to.

Winterlace My experience of being bullied was that it didn't matter what I did to try and conform to what the bullies said I had to do, they would just pick something else to bully me about.

I did not think you were implying you had a learning disability winterlace. I understood what you were saying.

Everyone used to mistake DD1 for a boy when she was a baby and when my 3rd child was a boy he popped out looking just like her so she must have done!

I think that does happen Five but the problem is it (usually) starts somewhere. For me it was being brought up in a very religious household and certain things really made me stand out. By the time I was 14 I looked every inch a normal teenager but by then I was the freak so it didn't matter.

I even worried about DDs name as although it isn't desperately strange it's unusual and I worried it might attract bullies - stupid I know. I love her name though!

Thanks limited.

MrsD can we please not just leave it - I really didn't say at any point I had a LD!

I think you're right and this thread has actually made me realise that. I didn't have great self esteem as a kid either - hope that'll be different for my two.

Well I didn't know that so I certainly apologise if it was misleading but thank you for acknowledging that wasn't the intention on my part :)

Okay, but I'd argue that teaching my kid to be herself as hard as she can and to have confidence that anyone who has issues with it has the problem rather than her will beat trying to be all things to everyone just in case someone might bully her.

If you do not know the definition of something then you cannot be implying you have such a thing. You did not know the definition so you were not saying you had it.

Surely the best way to tell the genders apart is to pierce baby girls ears and apply lipstick on the way out of the womb, and tattoo something manly (like an anchor) on the baby boys.