to ask so what if people think that?

[pinkbluegreenyellow]

Friend recently had a baby boy. Her DH goes on about how 'strong' he is, how big and tall, how much bigger than other baby boys he is. Fine. He is a big guy himself.

What irks is any suggestion that his son might, god forbid, appear 'girly' to others. For example, his son was gifted a t shirt that had a pink stripe in it. It's being given to charity as 'no son of mine wears pink. Don't want you being mistaken for a girl'. Friend's cousin allows her small ds to dress up in both cowboy and princess outfits and this is met with a sneer too.

Leaving aside the notion that pink is for girls, I want to shout so fucking what if people think he's a girl?? Like being a girl is weak and pathetic? I get that you might want people to assign the correct gender to your child but is there the same fear attached to people thinking your child might be a boy? As in , I can't dress her in blue, I don't want people to think she's a boy?

I wonder if he would change his tune if he realised that obsessing about something like this is generally a sign of someone with serious insecurities about their own sexuality?

DS2 used to get dressed in whichever shirt, jumper or babygrow came to hand, and as he has an older brother and sister that included a number of pink garments. DH never turned a hair, and DS2 shows no sign whatsoever of being gay, not that it would bother me if he did.

I had a friend who was like this with her son. It drove me round the bend. Aged about 2.5 she taught him to chant "pink is for girls, blue is for boys"! It used to fill me with delight and her with horror when he would come to my house and dress up and muck about with Dd and their other friends in a pink feather boa and high heels!

YANBU. My BIL is the same. Anything that he deemed effeminate was not allowed on or near his boys. Which was my sons good luck as we now have lots of brand new clothing to choose from

What makes me snigger just a little bit is the three year old has the most mincing walk and run I've ever seen and likes to carry the teachers hand bag around the outside play area.

Dp did raise his eyebrows slightly when I painted ds's toenails, but only the first time.

By 18months ds was a regular feature at the village shop carrying a handbag and sporting fabulous headbands, all whilst managing his little buggy and baby

Oh, FGS - DS2 has been mistaken for a girl many times (his eyelashes are enviable) and you're right, who cares? I feel sorry for the sons of men like this, so much pressure to be masculine, what if he discovers he's gay one day? he'd be terrified to tell his father.

DD had no hair until she was 2, even wearing pink she'd still get mistaken for a boy occasionally. I just used to say yes when I was asked if she was a good boy!

Why on earth would you paint your sons toenails whereisegg? Now that is bizarre.....

Methinks the man protests too much.

I have a colleague who insists babies should be dressed in pink or blue. When another colleague was gifted some neutral baby clothes she insisted that it was wrong and encouraged him to take them back and exchange them for the 'correct' colour. Like a doormat he did. I was and also .

Quite sad reading this, I'm wondering what is so undesirable about being gay or female that young boys have to be protected from it.

My DCs are allowed to dress as they wish and play with what they wish, in the way that I was brought up myself. I was just too soft to take away toys or clothes that my children adored because of some arbitrary gender rules that are culturally constructed. DSs favourite t-shirt is pink, the excitement when he finds it in his drawer is contagious, i cant imagine taking it off him and saying 'thats for a girl. You cant have it'.

Up until the 1920s boys wore dresses often until they were 8 and that boys were supposed to wear pink as a paler shade of the masculine red! This obsession with pink and blue is a relatively modern phenomenon and i believe is quite damaging for boys and girls to be forced into boxes they perhaps dont fit.

DD has been mistaken for a boy.

It doesn't bother me. I'm not upset or alarmed by it but I don't actively encourage it by dressing her as a boy either.

She's in red leggings and a cream top today with red hearts on it. Nice and colourful but not pink! All the same I wouldn't dress a boy in that outfit any more than I'd buy a mans shirt for me

that's the thing - the underlying thinking is that a) parents can 'make' their DSs gay by buying them 'girly' things and b) that there's something wrong with being gay.

(I would say later than the 1920s - Peter Pan (film) is 1960s and baby Michael is wearing a pink babygro - though maybe it was one of Wendy's? )

Times change

We now have more money and children's clothing is a specialist area in a way it once wasn't. I think most children's clothing prior to the 1950s looks very uncomfortable.

Now we have more choices than ever before and part of that choice is colour. Some colours and clothes (e.g. dresses) are traditionally associated with girls. If you for whatever reason want to dress your child in the colours and clothing associated with the opposite sex to them be my guest - but I certainly don't have issues because I don't want to dress my daughter as a boy or a future son as a girl!

dressing a boy in pink, for example, isn't dressing him 'as a girl'. who ever said pink was just a girls' colour?

We traditionally associate pink with girls.

Who said dresses and skirts were for women? :) Maybe there is no good reason for it but I know I'd get a shock if DH came downstairs wearing a dress.

Part of it comes down to consumerism and marketing. Who benefits the most from encouraging parents to have two separate sets of clothing for babies of opposite sexes?

But that's a whole other tangent!

I see plenty of men in the City wearing pink shirts. And, on that thinking, would you refuse to buy your daughter a blue T shirt? Because that's for boys?

DD has a chum in nursery who is very strident about 'this is for girls, this is for boys' (apparently her parents were worried that she was becoming a tomboy and went the total other way and she's now always dressed in something pink and frilly ) and DD is always saying that she can't wear trousers to nursery as X doesn't like them. X also likes to say that boys can't wear dresses and I'm pleased to say that DD is now saying back 'yes they can if they like'.

Fashion for boys and girls is different. Accept it! Why is everyone trying to make everyone the same. SOme things are for boys and some things ar for girls, just leave it as it is! I would never put my DS in pink or let him strut around in a bloody frilly tu-tu - he'd look a right tit and would be laughted at!

boys can't wear dresses and I'm pleased to say that DD is now saying back 'yes they can if they like'

Yes the parent of the boy can allow them to parade around in a frock and embarrass himself. Of she could stop letting him look an idiot and make him wear appropiate clothing!

Who decided what is "appropriate clothing"?

Is it only wearing clothing marketed for the opposite sex that makes you "look a right tit"?

boys in dresses look ridiculous, and as his parent you should protect him and teach him what is customary for his gender...and that's not stupid frilly dresses now is it!

If people want to use their child as a politically correct tool I think it's wrong but it isn't for me to comment on their parenting style.

However refusing to do it myself doesn't mean I have issues!

A man wearing a pink shirt in a business suit is completely different to someone running around in a tutu!

Who decided what is "appropriate clothing"?

society. If a bloke turned up to work in a dress he'd be mocked and sent home immediately. Fact!

Yes, a pink shirt on a business suit IS different, plus they have chosen to wear it at that age

About all that tradition - you do know that not too long ago, pink was boys' colour?