Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe

368 replies

Chocolateandcrisps · 15/02/2014 14:53

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

OP posts:
ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:07

Interested to know at what age people would stop doing this. Do you think it's okay for a 5 year old or 7 year old?
Would you do this in Pizza Express, in the Beefeater or other pub type place, in McDonalds, in Starbucks?

If you go somewhere like the zoo, for a day trip and are there all day, there will usually be a picnic area, often under cover. Own food should be eaten there, not in the cafe and there will usually be notices about that. Lots of people will eat their picnic in that area and later have a coffee in the cafe.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:10

Full house or what?

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:11

If your kids are fussy eaters, they aren't at the stage to be eating out yet. Have a picnic elsewhere or eat at home and arrange your day so they can eat the food they like, but not in an establishment that is there to make money from selling food.
Parents don't have an entitlement to be in cafes. People need to avoid them if they are not suitable for their children, due to behaviour or due to the food not being suitable for them. Adults would not go somewhere that the food was unsuitable for them and then get out their own sandwiches (I hope) and there really is no difference with children as far as I can see.
Fussy adults eat at home or where they like the food. Same should go for children. It's just that adults need to make that choice.

susiedaisy · 15/02/2014 17:12

Cafés are slightly different though IMO. Eating isn't always compulsory in a cafe. Where as it wouldn't occur to me to go to a restaurant at lunchtime and only order a coffee. Although most pub, KFC, macdonalds, etc would allow you to sit with only drinks on a mealtime as far as I'm aware

susiedaisy · 15/02/2014 17:12

Cafés

susiedaisy · 15/02/2014 17:13

Sorry auto correctBlush

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:15

Expat, are you saying my comments are predictable, along with everyone else's?
If you have been on these kind of threads before, they probably do go in a similar pattern. I can imagine that is the case. If you've seen it all before, why are you reading it again,mid it's all so boring. I haven't been on a thread like this before, so it is new to me and probably others too. We are finding it interesting.

I just wonder why old timers,as it were make these kind of 'full house' comments. Are you suggesting none of us should be posting? I really don't understand the purpose of the post, or why you would be following the thread if you've seen it all before. Genuine question, because I've seen these kind of comments on other threads and would like to understand what's behind them. Thanks.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:17

And this last post reveals why you get your arse out of kilter over something completely ridiculous. What's it to you what others do? Are you the cafe owner?

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:18

'we'. I love it when OPs use the plural to justify themselves.

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:20

Quite simply, the OP asked a question and Iexpressed am opinion and later replied to what other posters said. The purpose of the thread isto have a bit of a debate isn't it and to see what different people think.
If you have no opinion on it, fine.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:22

You don't get to dictate the purpose of a thread or how people should post.

LadyintheRadiator · 15/02/2014 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:28

Expat, Im not sure if your comments are to me or someone else, due to cross posting.

If to me, please explain what you mean. The OP has determined the question. I have answered.
You and Lagoon seem to be saying something about playing bingo and full houses. I assumed you meant that you predicted the responses and what you predicted happened. I simply asked what the purpose of that is for this thread. I'd still like to know, thanks.
OP sorry if this is moving away from the topic. I just felt there was a bit of sneering at all of us answering your question. I expect Expat will explain what she meant by the bingo comments.

jacks365 · 15/02/2014 17:31

My local church has a cafe but it's classed as a public space so yes it can just be used as a picnic area. Our vicar would rather have people feel welcome in the building irrespective of their dietary requirements. Which to me is how a church cafe should be.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:35

Explain what? No one is under any obligation to justify themselves to any poster. As long as we adhere to the talk guidelines, we are all free to post as we please. It is probably rather unwise to be overly earnest over threads on net forums, but it's one's own lookout.

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:36

Jacks, that is great isn't it. I have been to places like that too and it's made really clear. I think people do feel welcomed. Sometimes it's like that in soft play centres too, but not always. Places which welcome own food usually say so somewhere. I don't think one could assume it is okay in a place selling food though.
Most cafes aren't like the Church cafe though. Quite a few have notices asking people not to consume their own food. I don't think the lack of such a notice means it is okay though. Of course you can always ask and probably get a feel anyway for what the answer maybe. If you ask and they say no, you simply choose to purchase and not get your own out, or go elsewhere. No probs.

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 17:37

Exactly jacks35.

As for the ridiculous comments about If your kids are fussy eaters, they aren't at the stage to be eating out yet - it's got nothing to do with anyone else other than the cafe owner to dictate who should and shouldn't be eating what in their cafe.

jacks365 · 15/02/2014 17:37

Chocolate the op states that this was at a church cafe

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:41

Expat, oh okay, final reply to you. I guess you are right that you don't have to explain to me what you meant. On other posts, people have usually been happy to clarify what they mean in debate. I was just hoping you would say your posts weren't sneering at everyone on here, and that I had misunderstood. Its totally up to you of course if you dont want to say you werent sneering. I am pretty new to MN and still trying to get a sense of it all. Thought you might help me out. Sorry if I seem earnest....just trying to add to the thread. Perhaps you are too. I won't ask you anymore questions.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:45

You labelled it a 'debate'. This isn't a debate forum. But please, carry on reading whatever it is you want out of posts, sneering, clarification, etc.

ChocolateWombat · 15/02/2014 17:46

Jacks, yes I can see it was a Church cafe. I just took the OPs post was more open ended about taking food into cafes generally, not just Church ones. Sorry if I misunderstood and broadened it out.

SirChenin, yes of course it is up to the cafe owner. But the OP asked the question of us, not the cafe owner, which is why I answered.

I can see my view is an odds with a lot on here. Perhaps we can agree to disagree.

ShadowFall · 15/02/2014 17:46

I think that as a general rule, it's only really okay to give kids a packed lunch in a cafe if the adults are ordering some food for themselves too.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2014 17:48

I love it when people go over all PA, too.

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 17:48

And which is why many of us have said - "Op, it's got nothing to do with you whether or not someone else's child ate a packed lunch in a cafe while they had a coffee".

I don't imagine for a second that the OP took it upon herself to complain to the cafe owner, probably because (quite rightly) she'd have been told it was fine.

Limara · 15/02/2014 17:54

The church is probably pleased that their cafe is attracting people from the local community into their church, everyone is welcome. My dd is a really fussy eater. For instance I'd buy her something to eat and she wouldn't eat it! It felt wrong/wasteful buying food to see it go to waste and I would often bring her snacks and if that was a sarnie big deal. I would often revisit cafés because I could do this and recommend these cafés, obviously not broadcasting I took my own food, so surely the cafe benefitted from repeat business?

Surely there are more important issues out there to get concerned about like Fukashima and people, who's benefits have been cut and cannot afford to eat?