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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe

368 replies

Chocolateandcrisps · 15/02/2014 14:53

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

OP posts:
harverina · 15/02/2014 20:41

Aw jeeeeeez! This question has been done over and over.

Who cares? So long as the adults fe ordering something why does it matter?

My dd is unfortunate enough to have allergies so we ways carry a snack for her or her lunch of eating out. If we couldn't do it we couldn't eat out.

You'll never know who has got allergies, who has got medical problems or who just can't afford to buy cafe food for their children but who would like a nice coffee in a nice cafe. Either way does it really matter? Is it really harming the proprietor?

HoneyDragon · 15/02/2014 20:42

Could have been an elevenses box. Elevenses are subjective, and entirely dependent on the need of the individual as to what is required. Elevenses can occur at any time excepting breakfast, lunch, dinner supper and tea time.

harverina · 15/02/2014 20:43

And how do you know that the person didn't ask if it was ok? And anyway why the hell should anyone have to ask "a coffee for me and is it ok if my child eats somthing while we are here". Jeez it's not a big deal!

RevoltInParadise · 15/02/2014 20:46

My friends and I go to a cafe every week. We all order drinks and food. It totals upwards of £100 of business every week. The staff know us as we are quite a large group and they are usually very quiet during the time we are there.

Recently my child was off nursery and she came with us. As she has allergies I had brought a packed lunch. Being nice, I explained to the waitress that she had allergies and would eat her packed lunch while we ate ours. I was informed that if they saw her eat so much as one bite of her packed lunch we would be thrown out.

We no longer go there.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/02/2014 20:52

I don't think it's a problem unless the café owners do BUT I imagine that the more people see this as the 'norm' the more people will do it because 'everybody else does it'.

Then it will become a problem because nobody is going demand proof of allergy so what is to stop some entitled parents with non-allergic children thinking that they too can use the facilities of the café, nursing a couple of coffees and feeding their children from lunchboxes?

HoneyDragon · 15/02/2014 20:58

How will it become a norm? Cafés are for convenience or a treat. So it's not like a lunchbox trend will start? Confused

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 21:14

Eh? Cafes have been around for many years, so have packed lunches. I really don't see it becoming a 'norm'.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/02/2014 21:16

It will become normal for frequenters of cafes. Currently, most people who don't have allergy-suffering children buy food for themselves and their children. The more lunchboxes that are proudly opened for feeding the children, the more people will start bringing them in themselves. It's money-saving too.

People like meeting in cafes, they want to socialise, see their friends - and not have the mess inconvenience at home. I'm saying that lunchboxes will increase at an exponential rate and it will be all the fault of Mumsnetters... Shock

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/02/2014 21:21

Lunchbox-bearing parents didn't used to be so blatant; it was surreptitious as per the OP.

Now allergies are seen as a viable reason/excuse to have a lunchbox feeding session.

All have been around 'for years' but people seem to have less reason to follow convention now, eg. p&c parking pfft, buggies on buses... peoples' sense of entitlement has grown and with that the ability to see that all things are not equal in life. Some things have been made easier for those who NEED them have now been translated to for all those who WANT them, whether they need them or not.

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 21:21

You are being facetious, right? Grin

ProfessorSkullyMental · 15/02/2014 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/02/2014 21:23

A bit... Blush

I blame the perfume I was using earlier, very strong, alcohol fumes up my nose.. Grin

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 21:24

That'll be the Eau de Vin, will it? Grin

nkf · 15/02/2014 21:25

Sometimes it's so cold and you are so broke and you want to sit down somewhere for a minute. It's for the cafe owner to object

susiedaisy · 15/02/2014 21:26

Dont think it will become the norm for people to purposely make a packed lunch and take it to a cafe for themselves. I'm on a limited budget but still meet friends for coffee but I will eat before or after the meet up when I know it's one of those weeks I can't afford a cake or sandwich.

Fiveleaves · 15/02/2014 21:37

I had a friend who used to do this. Buy a coffee and take out pre packed lunch for her 18 month old DD, often something really messy like rice and veg, leaving the mess behind. If you are in a cafe where they sell food, particularly if they have a child menu, then buy the bloody food or go home and eat! We live in an area where cafes are constantly shutting due to high rent and business rates and I found it mortifying. Friend would sometimes buy lunch for herself too but it's still our of order. Beyond whipping out a rice cake to keep little ones occupied, it's just not ok.

TiredFeet · 15/02/2014 23:13

I have no choice but to do this as ds (3) has multiple allergies, some very severe. But I do buy food for me and I try and buy something for him eg a drink if I can. I always check its ok and I have never had any issues. I would love to be able to buy him food from a cafe as a treat!

deakymom · 15/02/2014 23:15

i can't tolerate gluten/barley/caffeine my one year old cannot tolerate gluten/lactose/eggs (and he is one so no caffeine) going to a cafe is almost out of bounds to us i have to drink hot chocolate if i want a hot drink all he can eat is chips but only if they have not been contaminated by being cooked in the same fryer as wheat products i used to take my own tea bags but most cafes won't allow me to pay for a tea but use my own bags coffee is usually too strong for me and my son can drink/eat nothing really so yes i would be one with a lunch box

Floggingmolly · 15/02/2014 23:18

Why would you go to a cafe in that case, deaky?

CoffeeTea103 · 15/02/2014 23:21

Deaky why would you even bother going to a cafe then?

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 23:24

It must be very difficult to eat out Deaky, but it's great that you can at least socialise and have a hot chocolate whilst your son has something from home Smile

harverina · 16/02/2014 01:20

Erm, not wanting to answer for deaky but I'm sure it's nice for her to take her son into cafés and for them both to meet friends etc.

My dd loves going to the local cafe - she gets a drink and crisps but can't face anything else. She still lived the experience. I would love her to be able eat from the menu.

I doubt very much that it will become the norm to take lunch boxes.

harverina · 16/02/2014 01:21

Sorry she can't eat anything else, not face!

harverina · 16/02/2014 01:23

Lying we are not proud of our lunchbox/bag. It actually breaks my heart to have to pack food for dd.

SaucyJack · 16/02/2014 01:32

I do struggle to believe that both children had such severe allergies that they couldn't even have had a token paid-for bottle of water between them.

And even if it were the case, the parents should've bought something to eat instead. Cafes are not there as a public service IMO.

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