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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe

368 replies

Chocolateandcrisps · 15/02/2014 14:53

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

OP posts:
Ledkr · 16/02/2014 20:36

I must admit I take dd a lunch box after swimming which she eats while I have a coffee, this is largely due to the fact she doesn't like chips and nuggets. Lots of other parents do it too and nobody seems to mind.

I think there's a fine line between a small box of food for a toddler and a full packed lunch for an older child or an adult.

The op said she takes rice cakes and water so the difference would be that you can't take a box but you can have snacks in your handbag Hmm I don't see the difference.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 20:39

Ledkr... really? You're doing just the same that you joked about... Shock

Get a coffee to go and your daughter can eat her lunch box in the car or on the bus or walking... anywhere that doesn't serve food!

The container matters not... if they serve food, then you don't, that's the principle.

Limara · 16/02/2014 20:48

Scenario:

The two mothers brought packed lunch for them all. That's probably why they had a lunchbox. The mums ate their sandwiches when they were in the park but the kids didn't finish their sandwiches off. The mums then decide to go for a coffee in the Church cafe because they've always been made to feel welcome there and they're a bit cold after the park.

They just order coffees, nothing else because they've just eaten. They've just sat down but the children are a bit fractious. The mothers know if they just give the kids the rest of their sandwich they'll be quiet and let them get on with their chat or do they:

Q. Get up, leave their table and conversation and start choosing food from the counter which might disrupt the whole thing as both the children might want to go with each parent. One of the children might have dietary needs and the parent might get into a lengthy conversation with the vendor whether the item of food contains this and that. Whilst this is going on, the children might get bored and start running around....?

What would you do?

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 20:49

'I hear the pleas for the business owner who gets to make money on the drinks '

No shit?! A business seeking to make a profit on a product it sells instead of giving it away for free. You don't say . . . Hmm

I have seen more and more cafes with, 'No food not bought on premises' signs.

I can see why now!

Limara · 16/02/2014 20:53

Expat - and repeat business Wink

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 20:54

'The mums ate their sandwiches when they were in the park but the kids didn't finish their sandwiches off.'

Kids, we're going to the café now! Time to finish your lunch.

The scenario doesn't work, though, because kids are never going to let them sit and have a convo in a café, anyhow.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 20:55

Repeat business from 'customers' who lose them money, Lim. I'd not want them in my business, anyhow.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 20:55

Limara... If they didn't finish then they weren't hungry. No need to start eating again in the café...

The secret yet blatant guzzlers are going to single-handedly shut down every café in the land... Shock

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 20:56

Hence, more and more cafes with 'No food not bought on premises' and 2-hour time limits unless you buy more product.

Who wants a pisstaker for a customer?

YeahThatsWhatISaid · 16/02/2014 20:58

... and don't forget in all this discussion that there must be lots of people, like me, who actively avoid cafes which cater to children. I can't stand the little beggers Grin

Limara · 16/02/2014 21:01

Lying - If they didn't finish then they weren't hungry. No need to start eating again in the café...

They might be hungry from the park to the cafe? They had the sandwiches when they arrived at the park, ran around for say 40 minutes, were offered more sandwich before they left the park but declined because they were excitable and distracted? I don't know, i'm not an expert on kids metabolism but I used to offer my kids food if they were a bit crabby, low blood sugar.

The secret yet blatant guzzlers are going to single-handedly shut down every café in the land... shock Perspective kids lunchbox/not a picnic carrier or coach party! Grin

Mrscupcake23 · 16/02/2014 21:04

I used to work in a lovely coffee shop and lots of mother brought lunch boxes in for their children. What pissed me off was the mess they made and left their yoghurt pots etc on the table so rude.

I am amazed at the amount of people that do this really cheeky.

Morgause · 16/02/2014 21:05

Such lack of manners, though. I can't believe so many people think it's ok.

I'll be sounding like my mother soon complaining about the manners of the next generation - but to not see how rude it is seems beyond belief.

Ledkr · 16/02/2014 21:15

I could do that lying but it would make no difference as all the other parents are doing it which leads me to believe that it's ok to do as it's in the local leisure centre.
I don't think I'd do it in a proper cafe.

Incidentally, just to throw it out there, how about baby food, is that ok to take along because that's pretty much the same isn't it?
Many people take jars to be warmed for babies I don't really see the difference and if you are blw the food is largely the same as you would find in 3 yr olds lunch box.

Just saying Grin

Limara · 16/02/2014 21:29

If I'm in town with my kids and I'm desperate for a coffee, do people think I should sit down outside and possibly in the rain and feed my 3 year old their healthy snacks such as carrot/cucumber stick or rice cake before I go for a coffee in a cafe or should I buy what is on offer for example cake, muffins etc?

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 21:32

I love coffee. I really do. Never been so desperate for one that I'd consider taking hungry kids in to get one unless I had the dosh to stump up and buy them something to keep them quiet.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 21:34

Ledkr... I used to use that excuse when I was in school... all of us told to sit quietly, none of us did - I got caught - teacher brooked no argument of 'Miss, but they were ALL talking... wibble..' Blush

Babyfood in jars? Dunno, do they sell them? Breastmilk in boobs is definitely ok though... Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 21:35

Limara... get a coffee to GO! Wink

Floggingmolly · 16/02/2014 21:36

If I'm in town and I'm desperate for a pint; I just have to accept that I can't have one if I have my kids with me, Limara. Grin. What's the difference?

Limara · 16/02/2014 21:47

To wrap up this post IMO YABU. The fact that I have fed my children snacks in cafe's in the past does not make me a criminal or ill mannered, impolite, disrespectful or anything else negative. The scenario is subjective and not against the law.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 21:49

Just tell me, Limara... your name, is it after the 'bodyspray' range? Please tell me it is... Grin

Limara · 16/02/2014 21:50

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe - yes Grin Probably poisoned myself with the amount I used to spray on myself 'back in the day'! Grin

Ledkr · 16/02/2014 21:52

I knew you'd say that lying as soon as I wrote it. I'm not using it as an excuse I was merely saying that possibly in those circumstances it is allowed, it's a seating area surrounding the little cafe, maybe they don't mind, I am going to ask on Thursday though.

Any thoughts on the baby food question? My 3 yr olds lunch box is no different to my sisters babies blw one that she and many others take to cafés.

flogging I'd leave the kids outside in their buggy for sure Wink

Caitlin17 · 16/02/2014 21:56

Limara your repetition of "it's not against the law" is wearisome and irrelevant.

Subjectively speaking I think treating a cafe or a restaurant as nothing more than a picnic spot for which
the entry fee is the price of one cup of coffee is ill-mannered.

Thetallesttower · 16/02/2014 22:05

Ledkr I think that is more justified in a public swimming pool, in my experience there's usually a mix of seating which anyone can sit in and seating for the cafe, perhaps the two are a bit mixed, in which case the staff will probably not mind, partly because in a public pool, they are not a private business losing money, and it's a public place paid for out of the council budget. You have also already paid to swim as well.

Some places have waiting areas which also have a coffee bar attached, in that situation I don't think there's anything wrong with eating your own food (say in a bus or train station).

Going in a Costa and getting out your own sandwiches is outrageous.