Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe

368 replies

Chocolateandcrisps · 15/02/2014 14:53

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

OP posts:
Limara · 16/02/2014 17:50

Maybe they couldn't afford to eat there? Maybe they were on benefits and a trip out to a cafe for a natter really lifts their spirits? How do we really know? Some think these people are the anti-Christ and some think they're not. We're not all going to agree are we? Cafés and coffee shops make loads of money; mark up on food is high and new coffee shops are opening up all the time so I don't think the odd lunchbox is going to bring the whole trade down is it? Some of you will say 'but it isn't the point, it's wrong to bring your own food' . Well it's wrong that coffee farmers are screwed left right and centre by the large corporations and what's even more wrong is people buying chocolate knowing that child slavery has been involved. Perspectives people, perspectives.

YeahThatsWhatISaid · 16/02/2014 17:55

Costa sell juice, milk, babychinos, water, plain toast (not sure if that is just inthe morning though) - there are plenty of things for a child to eat and drink. If you don't want to pay for them go elsewhere!

Caitlin17 · 16/02/2014 17:56

Limarawhilst it might be sad some people can't afford to eat out you really are missing the point.

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:05

Caitlin, in what way?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 18:08

Because a café is a business and not a charity.

Does your local takeaway allow you to order and not pay? No they don't. So, when you can't stretch to one, you don't have one.

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:10

They bought coffee? They spent money? They might visit the cafe regularly-repeat business? They might recommend the cafe to their friend? It's called 'goodwill'.

No law has been broken here.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/02/2014 18:12

It's strange, Limara (great name btw) that you said food mark-up is 'high' when on the recent 'tips' thread, the exact opposite was argued, that food mark-up was low and that cafes/restaurants were struggling to pay wages therefore tips should be paid...

I won't even ask the 'dodgers' whether they deign to leave a tip...

Floggingmolly · 16/02/2014 18:15

Limara, you really don't get it, do you? You dismiss the arguement against people eating their own food in cafés with a blithe "maybe they can't afford to eat there"...
Maybe, indeed; but like everything else which comes with a price tag attached; if you can't afford it, it's off limits.
Why would a profit making enterprise like a café be any different?

Caitlin17 · 16/02/2014 18:16

Limara according to you "cafes make shed loads of money" really ? cafes and restaurants are about 3 times more likely to fail in the first 2 years than other businesses.

No wonder if they are expected to provide mass picnic facilities for the price of a cup of coffee.

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:18

lyingWitchInTheWardrobe - Thank you for the compliment Smile

Floggingmolly 'if you can't afford it, it's off limits.' Who said it's off limits?

floppyfanjo · 16/02/2014 18:30

Maybe they couldn't afford to eat there? Maybe they were on benefits and a trip out to a cafe for a natter really lifts their spirits?

Limara well its really quite simple, if your budget only stretches to a drink then don't take your DC at lunchtime when you knew that they'll need feeding. Cafe's are open all day not just at so called designated meal times.

winterlace · 16/02/2014 18:31

Because it is a business! Who on earth heard of a couple plunged into deep depression because they couldn't have a coffee in a cafe? No one, that's who, because it is a pile of crap. And let's just suppose that yes, the only light in their awful life is coffee in a cafe - they still don't have to go at lunchtime to feed their DCs.

It is rude and because of that and for no other reason I do not think the op is being at all U.

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:32

Maybe, indeed; but like everything else which comes with a price tag attached; if you can't afford it, it's off limits.

Sometimes I've had enough money to treat myself to a posh coffee but not to eat as in I wouldn't eat. Coffee is blooming expensive you know! I remember back in the day, which is always a Wednesday by the way, I'd whip out a Tupperware box and give my daughter snacks. I did this because she was a frickin nightmare with her food, ''I NO LIKE IT!" SCREAM!!

So I could afford my expensive coffee as a treat but I couldn't afford it combined with an expensive muffin or panini for instance.

So until I see it as against the law, I won't lose much sleep over it.

youarewinning · 16/02/2014 18:36

I think yanbtotallyu! I have a child with allergies so understand taking good out just in case. But I do this when eating lunch out - or eating at least something.

winterlace · 16/02/2014 18:37

Then don't have the muffin or panini. That isn't a problem.

However, eating food in a cafe or restaurant that you did not buy there has always been considered really bad manners. One of those unwritten laws like letting people off the bus before you get on yourself.

It's so greedy. Just WAIT to eat your own bloody food.

ChocolateWombat · 16/02/2014 18:40

Lots of things are not against the law. Clearly there is no law involved here. It is a matter of principle.

Some people seem to feel they can do what they like if they spend £2 on a coffee. For some this has involved bringing in KFC for their kids and for others, bringing in a packed lunch, when the cafe is not a picnic spot. Where there are no dietary needs or baby weaning going on, there is no excuse for it. It is simply a lack of respect for the businesses trying to make a living by selling food. If you lack that respect, then admit you are being disrespectful, but don't try to justify it.

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:44

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Churches want and encourage the local community to come in to their community in a hope they will come to know Jesus and therefore provide subsidised or free food to try to make them feel welcome.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

Maybe they couldn't afford a meal for 4?

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

If it had been a different container, would this have been more acceptable?

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

Do you think these women felt more comfortable bringing their lunchbox out because they felt they wouldn't be judged in this particular Church environment? After all, Jesus wouldn't have minded that they didn't buy lunch?

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 18:46

This is like those threads about taking food into cinemas because it's expensive and people getting affronted when they are found out and the food confiscated. You can't go two hours without snacks or food

Limara · 16/02/2014 18:52

Winterlace- Then don't have the muffin or panini. That isn't a problem. Uh I didn't have the panini? Confused

However, eating food in a cafe or restaurant that you did not buy there has always been considered really bad manners. You seem to be over generalising? So my child has bad manners because she was a fussy eater?

It's so greedy. Just WAIT to eat your own bloody food. Are you angry?

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 18:56

Sounds like everyone is getting angry. Confused

Floggingmolly · 16/02/2014 19:00

I'm a bit confused about the cafe in a church, tbh. Did op mean a church hall?

If so; church halls are usually rented out by the hour/ morning / day, etc. to various groups or private parties; so the idea that the cafe is intended as 1) a non profit making organisation, or
2) a place providing subsidised or free food so people can come and get to know Jesus (no, Limara, no!) is completely laughable.

Limara · 16/02/2014 19:02

Sparklingbrook yes! Grin What is there to get angry about? I really don't know!

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 19:03

I have no idea Limara i think everyone is now cross with each other. The OP is long gone.....

Limara · 16/02/2014 19:05

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Feb-14 19:00:54

I'm a bit confused about the cafe in a church, tbh. Did op mean a church hall?

To be fair, so am I.

2) a place providing subsidised or free food so people can come and get to know Jesus (no, Limara, no!) is completely laughable.

Sorry my idea is completely laughable? Can you clarify?

Floggingmolly · 16/02/2014 19:09

I've never been in a church that ran a (free) cafe on the premises for the sole purposes of enticing people in to worship. If you have; I stand corrected.

Swipe left for the next trending thread