To think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe

[Chocolateandcrisps]

There is a lovely cafe in a church which we visit often. There is a little play area which my ds loves and reasonably priced lunches, cakes and a sandwich lunch deal for the kids.

Last week two people walked in with their kids, who were about 3 years old, ordered coffees for themselves and brought out a lunch box for the kids. They did not order cake, lunch etc for themselves - just coffee.

I have given my ds rice cakes, water from cup, snacks in cafes before but never taken out a lunch box.

Am I being unreasonable / judgy to think that you should not bring a lunch box into a cafe for your kids?

I don't understand why people think it is okay for people to take their own food (apart from all the people who have kids with extreme allergies) to establsihments whose sole purpose is to sell food and drink. Why is the key issue whether the management vocally objects? Isn't it common courtesy to not do this. The attitude of 'we are buying 2 drinks, they should be grateful for our custom' stinks, the more I think about it. It is such an entitled attitude. As someone said upthread, this kind of thing is why so many cafes have to close. Although I don't suppose people taking their own food would view it like this, at all....because they Are not seeing the bigger picture.
This attitude is akin to thinking it is okay to take a load of 6 year olds to a theme park and say they are all under 5 so you don't have to pay for them....thinking to yourself 'it's overpriced, so I'm justified in lying' or going to a holiday cottage, which sleeps 4 and squeezing 6 in. Or paying a caterer to make food for 80 people at a party and then having 100 turn up.
All of this, sounds like entitled behaviour to me. A sense of, 'I don't care about those people running their businesses and what the basic agreements between customer and shop are, I'm going to do exactly what suits me'
Whils t some of those shops will complain to customers who behave like this, a number won't because times are hard. Why put them in this position in the first place? Either just have drinks (fine, no one has to buy food) or have drinks and food, but why expect it to be okay to bring your own.
There were lots of early posters her with children with complex dietary needs. They are a special case. Just not fancying paying, so bri ging your own isnt.

Sir Couthy has made it clear any owner who objects will never get her custom

And quite rightly so, given her DCs condition.

On another note, if you take say your 6 month old to a cafe, do you order a full lunch for him? Or do you bring whatever food you have prepared while you're weaning him? Or a baby that is still being nursed...By your logic, isn't it unfair to the cafe owner that your kids are sitting there taking up space (in a kid chair or a stroller) and you are not ordering food for them?

I think people should relax a bit and let people do whatever suits them without getting your knickers in a twist over nothing.

Given the sums Couthy has quoted spending for large parties the owners aren't missing anything.

Exactly what FloppyFanjo says upthread. It wasn't necessary previously so why is it now? People have become so very entitled to everything they want, without any consideration for others.

There's absolutely no excuse for selfish people who don't want to pay café prices or who don't like the look of the menu. If you don't like it, don't patronise it and take up the tables and facilities, leave them for people who would like it if there were space for them to use it.

It goes without saying that genuine dietary needs are excluded (if there really is nothing that can be prepared by the café) but even that comes with the caveat of courtesy to the proprietor. You don't plonk yourself down without checking first.

You can certainly pinpoint the café 'hogs' on this thread.

People have said upthread, that babies weaning and children with complex food allergies are a special case.

I can't see it is relevant how much money you are paying as a group. People who justify this, in terms of the fact that they are benefiting the cafe by giving them £2 for a coffee or that as a group, have given £50 miss the point. These are establishments selling food, not providing picnic space. The fact that none of you ask if it is okay to feed your children food you have brought from home (except those with complex dietary issues or weaning babies) indicates to me that you know it is wrong. How many of you sneakily get your lunchboxes out? Why don't you ask if it is okay? Is that because you know that it basically isn't okay. And those of you who have felt aggrieved when confronted by staff (apart from when having complex dietary needs or weaning babies) really don't have a reason to feel aggrieved, do you. Just embarrassed really. And people don't like feeling embarrassed, so place the blame on the owners, to justify their actions.

Of course it's not unreasonable to take a lunchbox for a child with severe allergies and/or coeliac disease.

I tell you what is taking the piss; the mum who brought KFC into Starbucks for her kids to eat while she nursed a small bottle of apple juice for over an hour!

Candy coated.....and what you describe,is exactly what lots of people on here are effectively advocating. It's just that its food from home, not KFC...can't see the difference to be honest.

No doubt some people on here would also say it is wrong to take KFC into another eating establishment (or maybe they think that is okay too??) but still feel a lunchbox is okay. Seems exactly the same entitled behaviour to me.
As a child, I remember having to sit in the car to eat sandwiches, because we couldn't afford cafe prices. We wouldn't have dreamed of trying to eat them in a cafe. I think people do have more entitled attitudes today in lots of areas...this is just one.

But they paid for coffees.

I have been to cafes/eateries and had snacks for my dc. There were lots of empty seats so I was not preventing anyone from eating there.

Sad... Any viable reason though why you'd park yourself in a café without buying drinks and food for yourself and your children? The empty seats is irrelevant. It's rude to use facilities that you haven't paid for.

Lying I bought a drink and cake for myself and dc had snacks from home. I would never sit in an eating establishment without buying something.

But people eating their own still require the table cleaning afterwards, sweeping up after, waitress to keep an eye out.
Taking the mickey to bring your own unless it's impossible for the rest of the group to eat without leaving someone out.

Fair enough, Sad but do your children have to have snacks from home? Nobody's talking about allergies and life-threatening issues but excluding these, why the need to bring snacks to a café, regardless as to whether you bought a drink/cake for yourself? It's odd. Wouldn't you just buy for all of you?

I ask because, as I don't have children with reasons for not eating/drinking in a café, I wouldn't give them stuff brought from home. To do that just seems penny-pinching and not right at all.

Of course the owners are missing out Caitlin - Better to have something than nothing in your till. And do stop with the patronising about how much money Couthy has spent.

SingMoreWhenYou'reWinning. I think you take the thread prize for sheer bloody cheek .

You told the cafe owner you didn't like the look of the cafe food and couldn't afford it anyway, as justification for bringing your own food????? I'd have chased you off the premises with a shotgun, quite frankly.

I think the 'better to have something rather than nothing' in the till is an entitled attitude. You imply you are doing them and a favour by spending £2 and therefore they 'owe' you and should allow you to do whatever you want.

I assume the reason you don't want to buy food (not including those with weaning babies and complex dietary needs here) is to save money. Fine, save money and just buy a drink. There is no need to bring out own food. Have coffee at coffee time, when there will be no need for children to have food. Or if it is lunchtime and you don't want to buy food, eat it outside. Get a takeaway coffee. You are not entitled to do whatever you like because you have spent £2. You are of course entitled to ask how they feel about the idea of you getti g a packed lunch out....however that runs the risk they will say no. A reasonable person would at least ask.

The only other thing I can think of it as similar to these days, is asking someone if you can smoke in their house. Most people assume now that if they are smokers, others won't want them to smoke in their house. Therefore they go outside, without even asking to smoke inside. Occasionally they might ask if their host minds. It's up to the host what they say. It would be incredibly rude to just light up in a hosts house without asking. And if you did this, you would have to expect to then be asked to go outside. I like this example...I think it exactly illustrates what people getting their picnics out, without asking are doing. (Weaning babies and people with complex dietary needs excluded of course)

FloggingMolly, I too am shocked by SingMore's comment. However, I think that most people bringing out a packed lunch actually have this attitude too. They just don't voice it, but essentially, their attitude towards the owners of the cafe is exactly the same. It is their failure to recognise the lack of respect they are showing, for what it is, that I find upsetting.

Sir they are only missing out if Couthy and her party were the only customers there. They will be missing out far more if Couthy and her party are preventing customers who would have paid from getting seats.

I mentioned the amounts as the figures Couthy states they were paying to justify the non-paying "customers" were ridiculous. Couthy seems to have mistaken commercial cafes for non-profit community centres.

Sorry but it's just cheap and totally unfair on the cafe owners. So now everyone has food allergies all of a sudden. If this reason was accepted then people would be taking full advantage, eat at home then!

The idea that you're fine to sit in your seats paying next to nothing because "no one is using them anyway" is a bit of a fallacy as well.
Just because there isn't actually a queue forming doesn't mean that quite a lot of people haven't registered the fact that it looks quite full; assume it will therefore take longer than you'd like to be served, and carried on to the next one on the high street.
I operate on this basis myself, usually. You can gauge how full most places are without giving any indication that you're contemplating actually going in.
And no offence, couthy, but a gang of 12 adults and 17 kids would send me on my way whether you'd left space for other customers or not.

Coffee, if you look upthread, you will see lots of people posti g whose children have really complex food allergies, some that could kill them. You are onto a no winner with your comment. Early on, it appeared almost everyone with a lunchbox was in this situation, there were so many on here. Other people tended not to post.
There is definitely a need for cafes to show some flexibility towards those with weaning babies and complex needs. However, it is still polite to ask and it is even more important that those without such needs don't lie and say they have them. This would be repulsive behaviour in my book.

You probably shouldn't though I did this today in costa with my 3yo. Bought a froot shoot there then gave him some healthy snacks from a lunch box whilst dh & I had cake & coffee. If they provided reasonably priced & healthy snacks I'd buy them but they don't even sell fruit. Last week we forgot snacks so he had to eat sugar laden yoghurt cranberries, though we also let him share my marshmallows .

I don't think I could have sat and ate a cake in front of my two when they were 3. if they weren't having any. It would be like 'Mummy is having a cake-but you aren't'. Neither have any dietary requirements BTW.

Fruit Shoots are so healthy - NOT! Full of aspartame ans other assorted chemical shit. Here's hoping next time Sing tries to pull that stunt they show her the door. No refund, either. No reason to refund.

No wonder so many places have signs up about no food not on bought on premises.

Zen, but if the cafe doesn't have products that you want your kids to eat, or at a price you are willing to pay, why are you going there? Why not go somewhere else that fits what you want? If the cafe doesn't meet your requirements, it loses out on your business.