To feel annoyed about OH going to Thailand alone

[WestEndGirl11]

I'm in a relationship of 2.5 yrs, we are happy and in love, don't live together yet but hopefully in a few months we will do this. My OH is in his forties and 9yrs older than me, he's never been married and always lived a bit of a bachelor life. He is a teacher and he likes to go away to Asia every feb half term, on his own. He says he needs space and "me time". We have holidays together as well and I go away with my friends and sister some times. I don't mind him going away with his friends as I can understand that. I don't understand the big exotic holidays on his own - why can't he wait until Easter when we are going to Sri Lanka together for example...

We had a lovely meal out on Thursday for a pre-valentines and he surprised me with roses on Friday, then he flew out to Thailand in the eve. Am I being a total spoilt princess to feel annoyed at him? He wants to do this every year, I just feel like that is not what couples in serious relationships do - small holidays with friends are ok but big holidays should be as a couple or as a one off when the other person can't make it, right?

OP, you probably won't post on here again but I'm guessing you're still reading.

Not one person on this thread thinks your relationship is healthy.

That might be due to concerns over his motive in choice of destination or just the general dynamic of your relationship.

One partner in a relationship going on more holidays than the other is fine, especially when one gets more time off work, but only when they both agree.

When he 'tells' you that's what he's doing without even have the courtesy to ask you, that is very much not fine.

He doesn't have any respect for you and you have come to see that as the norm.

It's not normal- move on.

I hope this thread has opened your eyes OP to the fact that you're almost definitely wasting your time being with this man.

OP, I've just found one of you previous threads (who knew stuff stayed in your watch list for so long?).

It was started exactly one year ago, your boyfriend was selling his flat and you had high hopes for either renting or buying a place together.

One of your posts includes this:-

He says he doesnt feel ready to live together (I am!) but that he wants to within the year

So, 12 months on, what exactly has changed, because it doesn't sound to me like anything has?

He is still doing exactly what he wants, when he wants, including going on holiday without you.

He is still making faint mutterings about you moving in together, always at a point when he knows you can't move as you've just signed a new tenancy agreement, and each time there comes an obvious point for you to move in (him getting a new place/ you moving to a new place), he comes up with more excuses.

How do you justify to yourself the fact that he'd rather move some random lodger into his house and see you sign another 6 month agreement on a flat, than have you move in with him? That is a proper kick in the teeth in my book.

One year on, it doesn't sound like your relationship is any further forward, how many more years are you going to allow to pass before seeing the writing on the wall...............

I remember your previous threads too OP and Bear is right, even if he isnt shagging prostitutes.

I spent 14 years in your position, we even had kids together but still wouldnt live together nor even entertain the notion of marriage.

He was 12 years older than me too.

Dont make the mistake I did, open your eyes.

There's been plenty of time for this 'man' to show you he sees you as more than a friend with benefits. He hasn't, because he doesn't.
Open your eyes, get some self esteem and move on. I'd also get down the sexual health clinic as well

What does he say he's doing with his time in Thailand? Eating nice food and lying on the beach? Where does he go within the country?

Hope you are OK, OP?

Oh yeah I'm sure she is absolutely bloody ticketyboo having been told that her OH is off fucking ladyboys and that her relationship is a sham and the Advanced Search brigade have been hunting out her past posts as if she was some kind of doomed serial fuck up.

Poor bloody woman.

I have never read such dodgy cod psychology as appears on this thread.
Leave her alone FFS.

Hardly advanced search, it was in my watch list.

I disagreed with all the ladyboy/ hooker stuff- it is a red herring.

I can see that some of my posts made tough reading and truly want her to reach a point where she gets what she wants from a relationship.

Leave her alone - this is hectoring and bullying.

ODFO harticus

I genuinely wish her well, I hope she finds a relationship that meets her needs.

Believe it or not, she has crossed my mind every so often over the past year, after I read her first thread, as I have seen a situation like hers before and I think she deserves better.

I hope she sees that this isn't how a good relationship works.

That's hardly hectoring and bullying.