to be puzzled when mums suggest they know what it's like to be a SAHM because they were once on mat leave?

[BarkWorseThanBite]

Two really nice mums - I like them both and we usually sit together at toddler group. However, more than a few times both have seemed to imply they know what's it like to be a SAHM because they took mat leave a couplel of years ago (till their babies were 9 months old).

Isn't that a bit like saying you know what's it like to be a single mum (I'm not) because your husband was away playing golf for a week?

Nothing against working mums at all - but the implication that they know what my life is like is a bit irritating.

AIBU?

most parents worldwide care for their own children
Yes. Including parents who work for a living.
You have made repeated references to your opinion that woman who work do not parent as well as women who do not. It's inaccurate and offensive.
Unless you mean to say that most mothers worldwide don't earn a wage. In which case you are seriously mistaken.

Yy I've never claimed benefits in my life and to the poster saying sahm are living off their partners errr we are a team,a family and our money is our money.My money paid for the qualifications my dp has and what I do facilitates his choice of work,I am the best carer in the world for his children and no other person could do it as well?He is forever grateful for what I do.

We are a team,many families are,we all bring different qualities and contributions to the table.

Not sure what point the OP was making mind

Read the whole thing... how depressing... posters here seem to be saying that if a mother wants to stay at home with her children, even if she can afford to do so, and is claiming not a penny in State funding - well, she shouldn't be allowed as she's created a poor role model for the kids, and wasting her education.....

I obviously do think being a SAHM is the preferable choice for my family - other wise I wouldn't do it, would I? However, I'm not judging other people's choices, as I appreciate that not everyone would want or could afford to be a SAHM - and I can't imagine why people think I am judging. I simply said that taking mat leave was not the same experience as being a SAHM.

Unless you're using the example of 1970 s surbiton as depicted in the good life as a representation of "worldwide" in which case I take it all back because, apart from barbara, it was apparently not common for married women to work there.

Let this blow your mind... My children were ebf and Returned to work when they were 3 and 4 months old respectively. I then carried on bf til they were well over a year.

Given that ML is now a year long, I don't even know why bf is brought into the equation.

Just an aside, bf is linked more closely with socio economic status then simply whether one works or not. Out of the mums who attended the NHS and also the NCT antenatal classes which I did, more mums who, like me, returned to their career quite quickly, decided to breast feed than mums who gave up work.

Good post, Cory. I fear it may be wasted on OP as she has her own agenda.

OP - You said you took a pro-active choice to raise your own children....

I find that extremely insulting and unfair to working mothers.

I agree morethan it doest matter, it shouldnt come into it at all.

No. You absolutely were not"simply saying that mat leave was not the same experience as being a sahm"
You may as well have been talking about growing turnips on Venus for all the similarity between what you now state and what ou have actually said.

That should of course been I returned to work. I didn't put my 3 and 4 month old into the workplace...

therealamandaclarke SAHMs involve their children in their "work" all the time, I think. If I am baking bread, LOs will definitely join in... if I am out in the garden planting they will want to help.. if I am in Waitrose they will want to put things in the trolley...

If however I was still working at the bank, I don't think it would be quite so easy

Aha, there it is; the breastfeeding reference.

I'm assuming people were become too calm and rational when discussing SAHM/WOHM so OP thought to stir the pot up again...

YY TheRealAmanda. Serious back pedalling going on here.

Bark who has said SAHPs are bad role models for their children?

I along with a lot of others have basically said they don't give two hoots how someone chooses to parent their children.

Neither working nor staying at home makes either a better parent. Why do you even care so much to bother about comparisons? People will compare any situations that are remotely similar, why does it actually bother you?

Wtf?

*becoming

Well done Janey68 I think that's smashing. However I think separating a baby from his/her mummy for 10 hours a day would disrupt lots of bf-ing journeys in 3 to 4 month old babies.

mrsmagnificent way, way up the thread - someone said I was bad example because I was dependent on my husband.

Right - I better go do bedtime now....

breadtfeeding journeys

Who said anything about 10 hours bark?
And it didn't disrupt by babies breastfeeding journeys (wtf does that even mean btw?!!!) so why the hell are you worrying about everyone else's kids?
Enjoy waitrose with yours and let the rest of us enjoy ours!

Bark - nighty night. For someone who was 'just saying' you've managed to annoy a lot of people. I hope your DCs have enough contact with others to get a more rounded understanding of the world.

Breastfeeding journeys?

I think I sicked a bit just then.

I stayed at home some of the time and worked some of the time while my dc were young babies...I also breastfed some of the time and - wait for it - formula fed some of the time!

What do you make of that?!

Waltermitty

Janey

I had you down as a fair person. Sending wee little babies to work..... You should be ashamed .