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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread flying because of my size?

457 replies

annauk1 · 12/02/2014 19:57

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 12/02/2014 19:59

Op can you pre book your seats on line so that you know you will be sat together.
Failing that....get to the desk early and request seats together.
Happy hols Grin

Icelollycraving · 12/02/2014 20:01

Completely understand how you feel. Would you be able to upgrade your seat to premium economy where seats are a little more roomy? If not,could you request the aisle seat. That be more comfortable?

amicissimma · 12/02/2014 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupfedup · 12/02/2014 20:02

Op definitely pre book your seats, will save a lot of worry.

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 20:03

Completely understand how you feel. I was a size 22/24 and DH still is 22 stone.

FoxesRevenge · 12/02/2014 20:03

I don't think you can accuse people of being 'fat phobes' because they're uncomfortable when you encroach into their space Hmm. I sympathise with you to a certain point but everyone is entitled to their space and comfort on a flight.

fedupfedup · 12/02/2014 20:04

I agree with booking two seats too, good luck!

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2014 20:05

I would pre-book your seats to stop you from worrying OP

But as an aside, anyone getting annoyed that you're squashing them/taking up part of their seat, doesn't necessarily have to be a 'fat-phobe'...possibly just very uncomfortable.

pussycatdoll · 12/02/2014 20:06

Could you fly with a more comfortable airline ?

Lookingforadvice123 · 12/02/2014 20:07

If you get there extra early you should be able to request seats, we had to do this all the time when I was a child as my father is 6"6 so would always request the wing seat by the emergency exit.

And fat phobe is harsh, if I'm on a flight I wouldn't be happy at someone taking up part of my seat, whether they were overweight or not.

jigsawlady · 12/02/2014 20:07

You complain about the tiny seats, I can see why a random person next to you might be annoyed by you taking up more than your seat space and making their seat even tinier.

At the end of the day people are generally nice, I'd be nice to the person next to you, maybe apologise if they seem a bit squashed and I'm sure in return they'll appreciate that and be nice back.

You have a right to be there, you paid for your seat. But a little friendliness on your part might make the other person a little bit more giving. Last time I flew there was a mother with a small (very loud and crying) baby next to me, she apologised for the inconvenience at the outset and I appreciated it and couldn't get too annoyed at the situation.

Hopefully you'll both get seats together though.

Have a good holiday!

3littlefrogs · 12/02/2014 20:08

It isn't a case of being fat phobic. It is awfully uncomfortable to be squashed by the person next to you for a long flight, and unfair on the person being squashed, who has, after all, paid for their ticket too. I think you should either book two seats, or upgrade in order to have a wider seat. Much more comfortable for everyone.

BerniceBroadside · 12/02/2014 20:10

Why can't you sit with your DP?

I've flown with monarch a few times and didn't think their seats were any worse than anyone else. Food was crap though.

Mim78 · 12/02/2014 20:18

Sorry you can't criticise the person next to you for minding if you take up part of their tiny seat. They have paid for their seat too and are absolutely entitled to the whole of it. Yabvu if you do not take steps to ensure you do not do this to someone.

Generally yanbu to be worried - book your seats to be together - book two seats if you need to take up more room than one seat allows. Book an aisle seat if this will work so that you do not take up part of someone else's seat (unless it is dp's and he doesn't mind).

I get that you don't want to be in this situation, but it is absolutely not someone else's problem and you can't expect them to make do with less than their full seat. They might have back problems or any number of other reasons why this would make their life hell not to mention that everyone has paid for a whole seat. Sorry if this is unsympathetic but you do need to think of others too.

WooWooOwl · 12/02/2014 20:19

See if you can pay extra to book seats together, or make sure you get to the airport super early to try and get your seats together.

My lovely friend buys food at the airport after customs to take on long flights because she can't always get the tray down for the plane food.

The flight is just a tiny part of the holiday you have chosen to go on, try not to let it overshadow the whole thing and think ahead to when you get to your destination.

flyingspaghettimonster · 12/02/2014 20:24

I am assuming you can't sit together because you are both large? Yanbu to dread the flight, but if the person next to you is grumpy they are nbu either. I would freak out if I was trapped in my seat because the person next to me would have t

flyingspaghettimonster · 12/02/2014 20:24

I get up to let me out.

SybilRamkin · 12/02/2014 20:41

I feel for you, but I also feel sorry for whoever is sitting next to you too if you're taking up their space (that they have paid for).

Could you book two seats next time? That would save a lot of grief for everyone.

MidniteScribbler · 12/02/2014 20:50

I am friends with a couple who are larger people and they book three seats between them when travelling. It means they have enough space and they don't cause discomfort with other passengers.

If you take up more than the size of the seat, for whatever reason, then you should pay for an extra seat or upgrade to a class which has larger seats to accommodate you. Even when DS was under two and could have flown on my lap, I paid for his seat so that he had some room to stretch out and didn't inflict himself on other passengers. It's common courtesy.

Fairenuff · 12/02/2014 21:01

You sound awfully entitled OP. You think you should be able to take over space from someone else and that they should not complain Hmm

Ifcatshadthumbs · 12/02/2014 21:08

The last flight I went on I was sat next to a guy who was a pro body builder he was huge in an Arnold Schwarzenegger way. It was an uncomfortable flight having to be pressed against a complete stranger the whole way. Nothing to do with being a fat phobic. I was even more annoyed as the stewardess came up and offered him a free seat in first class and he declined. I was going to ask if I could have it but felt a bit bad leaving my friend behind!

arethereanyleftatall · 12/02/2014 21:09

Some not nice responses here. Maybe op can't afford two seats and just wants a holiday like the rest of us. Hope you have a nice holiday .

Fairenuff · 12/02/2014 21:11

Maybe she can't afford two seats but that doesn't give her the right to call people 'fat phobe' because they don't want part of her body spreading into their seat does it.

WorraLiberty · 12/02/2014 21:12

arethereanyleftatall, where are the not nice responses? Confused

Of course the OP wants a holiday, presumably that's why she's booked one

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/02/2014 21:15

arethere... Maybe not 'nice' but they are genuinely helpful. It's as well for OP to know (and it seems she realises) that people do not like to be encroached on. The seats are quite restrictive to larger people and I think most people wouldn't appreciate having their own seat taken up by a stranger. OP is sufficiently concerned about the very real possibility of the problem and perhaps it would ruin her holiday completely? It would certainly put a dampener on it.

I'd book two seats - or a block of three if necessary. Just for the reassurance that nobody will be giving daggers.