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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread flying because of my size?

457 replies

annauk1 · 12/02/2014 19:57

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

OP posts:
SomewhatSilly · 12/02/2014 23:03

Fanjo you are my favourite poster on mn. Compassionate and not afraid to speak up.

MiniTheMinx · 12/02/2014 23:03

Joules68, interesting point, I agree, it is seems to be perfectly ok to comment negatively about slim people but beyond the pale to comment about obesity. We are fast becoming socialised to accept being overweight as normal and even more desirable than being slim. Weird.

I wouldn't huff 'n' puff about anyone's weight unless that effected me. I would be affronted and feel physically and mentally uncomfortable sharing my seat with someone else, what ever their size. So yes, its unreasonable to take up your own and then infringe upon another's personal space. They too have paid for their seat, why should they give half of it up!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 23:03

Aww thanks somewhat. Thanks

Angrybirdy · 12/02/2014 23:05

My goodness..I always lurke and rarely comment but can not believe the vitriol on this thread

Get a grip..the OP is concerned however she expressed it about being a larger person on a flight. Instead of support for her concern it's almost that some expect her to lose 10 stones in two days or book two tickets for a 3 hour flight so that imaginary people with your personal size hang ups are not insulted.

My worst flight (12hrs) was sitting next to a tiny size 8ish woman with no concept of personal space. However, I relaxed and got on with it.

All this thread has shown is that when it comes to size fat is not a feminist issue that we have embraced or understood it is just another weapon we use upon each other fat or thin......Those who have attacked the OP should be ashamed of yourselves.

OP the flight is just a few hours...keep calm and remember it's just a means to an end..your lovely holiday with your DP

MostWicked · 12/02/2014 23:06

I would suggest that the rudeness was started by the OP.

OP, how would you feel if you went to take your seat on a plane, to find the person sitting in the seat next to yours, is already spilling over into your seat and there wasn't enough room for you to fit?

WaffilyVersatile · 12/02/2014 23:06

fuck off Moogy - that's just nasty

OP I am a 22 and think yabu.. you knew they were notorious for tiny seats, why book with them?

Angrybirdy · 12/02/2014 23:09

OP IME Monarch have larger and more comfortable seats than the other budgets..may depend on the aircraft

myalias · 12/02/2014 23:11

Well if it was a problem for you last year and you were planning a holiday this year could you not have tried to lose some weight?

mrssmith79 · 12/02/2014 23:11

The op has gone quiet but I'd bet a pound to a penny she's not sitting at home laughing and nodding along to some of these downright horrible comments. Sometimes mob mentality makes people get caught up in the action and forget that there's an actual person with feelings behind the words on the screen. Think on.

BeaWheesht · 12/02/2014 23:14

It isn't fair to encroach on someone's else's paid for space I agree. It also isn't fair to gang up on someone about their weight when they're already nervous and in need of support.

I'm sure, as in literally sure, that some of you piss me off and make me feel uncomfortable, I'm fat too and won't be forgetting the 'territory of hugeness' for a while unfortunately.

Still, at least the OP can lose weight if she chooses too, I suspect rude, insensitive posters would find it much harder to change their annoying features.

SaucyJack · 12/02/2014 23:14

Angrybirdy

If you read the OP you'll see that she isn't concerned about being a larger person re: her own flight experience. She's "concerned" that the person next to her might have the gall to mind having half the seat they've paid for taken up by her.

You'd have to be a bigger person than me (no pun intended) to support that.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 23:16

Bea..don't let it get to you..they were firmly encamped in the territory of arseholedom.

Mimishimi · 12/02/2014 23:16

Book two seats for yourself. Occasionally (okay twice) I've been seated next to people large enough to make the flight uncomfortable. Both asked to raise the armrest next to us which I thought was unfair, particularly since one of the flights was in the days when the entertainment console was solely located in the armrest (no touchscreen). One asked if they could put their finished dinner tray along with mine because the table was making them uncomfortable. I don't think it's being fat phobic to expect that the person next to you won't encroach on your space.

thenightsky · 12/02/2014 23:16

Just put the armrest down so you don't slip over into the next seat.

MothratheMighty · 12/02/2014 23:17

'OP, how would you feel if you went to take your seat on a plane, to find the person sitting in the seat next to yours, is already spilling over into your seat and there wasn't enough room for you to fit?'

Last time that happened to me it was a mother and small child. There was squealing, stickiness and interaction involved. I felt like insisting that next time she used a large carrier for her beastie. She didn't seem worried at all, unlike the OP.

WooWooOwl · 12/02/2014 23:17

I agree with monarch seats being quite big and comfy compared to other low cost airlines.

CromeYellow · 12/02/2014 23:17

It would be more comfortable for you to buy two seats or arrange to sit next to your partner. It's not fair to expect the person next to you to endure being dangerously cramped (deep vein thrombosis is a risk if you can't move) or made uncomfortable by a strangers body pressing into theirs. What if the person seated next to you is large themselves? Or heavily pregnant? Or has a baby on their lap? There'll be no room for you to spill over without causing extreme discomfort.

It's not fat phobic to want a safe, comfortable flight without strangers flesh resting on your body.

You're not unreasonable to dread such a scenario, yau to not do anything about it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 23:17

OmG. Putting an extra dinner tray with yours. What a hardship. Easily comparable to sitting with a tray sticking into you.

thenightsky · 12/02/2014 23:19

One of the worst flights I had was a long 9 hour jobby sat next to an (at most) size 6 slip of a teenager who thought it was jsut fine to sit with her feet on the seat and her knees pressed into my side Angry

YellowTulips · 12/02/2014 23:22

I don't think people are trying to be nasty.

It's a sensitive subject but the reality is that the space on planes is what it is.

If for reasons of height or weight you don't fit that space then you can't blame the person sitting next to you feeling somewhat uncomfortable/upset that the space they have paid for is being encroached upon.

To some degree we are all to blame. We all want cheap flights but the cost of this is space, then we complain about it.

There is a slightly ethical dilemma here. Should you book a cheap flight knowing you can't fit into the space and will actually impact another passenger?

Or do you take personal responsibility to book a seat that can accommodate you? If you can't afford it then rethink your options?

Like most posters I have had flights from hell in terms of large passenger (height and weight). Equally bad flights with people being rude and a very memorable one with someone being utterly pissed.

In the end it's all about courtesy and I simply question if it's courteous to book a seat you know you can't fit into and will thus impact another passenger so you get a cheap flight.

Mimishimi · 12/02/2014 23:24

It is a bit of a hardship having an extra dinner tray in your table when you have a very alert two year old on the other side :) I don't think complete strangers should be asking someone else to take it - would be different if I had offered. I suppose she did have to put up with a toddler though Grin

Joules68 · 12/02/2014 23:24

Then they should call a flight steward to remove it if it's 'sticking in' them..... Why put someone else out because of your own issues? Would you want to have someone's dinner leftovers sat under your nose?

MiniTheMinx · 12/02/2014 23:25

Fat isn't a feminist issue, its a health issue, and in view of the fact that we as a society are becoming fat and embracing fat it is a public health issue.

"and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space"

are we seriously saying that if we bought and paid for something, be it a seat or a doughnut we would be happy if someone else pinched half of it!

I'm sure it is quite uncomfortable to be squashed into a tiny seat, more so if you are larger. But is it not the case that in most everyday situations we do not sit on the laps of strangers or push our bodies up against others. We don't, most people like a certain amount of personal space, I am surprised that Op doesn't feel the same. If I were big or small, I would still feel mentally/physically uncomfortable squashed into a stranger.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 23:26

Of course I would rather than make person humiliate thenselves.

Especially since the tray would be collected shortly afterwards.

ScrabbleBabble · 12/02/2014 23:28

I still remember the man who stole the arm rest 0.3 seconds into the flight and he only stopped using it to eat so I stole it. And the guy who reclined his chair in the same way.. People take up a lot of space if theyre knobs not overweight. At size 26 if you are trying not to encroach you will be fine.

ignore the cunts on this thread.