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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread flying because of my size?

457 replies

annauk1 · 12/02/2014 19:57

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:23

Moogy..have you ever tried not being a rude fucker? It's fun.

AryaOfHouseSnark · 12/02/2014 22:23

Yes, the 3 seats between both of you is a very good idea.

Amandine29 · 12/02/2014 22:24

I once had the misfortune of sitting next to someone on a plane who was very overweight. She was sat in the middle and I was by the window meaning I had nowhere to escape. It was an absolute nightmare (this wasn't helped by other factors, she had dirty clothes and smelt a bit) and the only good thing was that I was returning from France so it was a short flight.

OP you really must buy 2 seats if you cannot fit into one. It is not fair on everyone else. I don't even think sitting next to your partner would help. The woman I sat next to had a friend on the other side but she still invaded my space.

Bunbaker · 12/02/2014 22:30

It's all very well telling the OP to book two seats, but the flight may be full, and wouldn't she have to pay for another seat if one was available?

That said, I once flew to New York next to someone who spilled over their seat into mine. I spent the entire flight perched on my left cheek because I couldn't move. So both of us were uncomfortable. These "fat phobes" aren't necessarily phobic about your weight, but concerned that they are going to be even more cramped than usual.

And, sorry to point out the obvious, but all budget and charter airlines have cramped seating conditions. I whinge and complain about it as well as I have long legs, but I put up and shut up and trip up anyone passing my seat because I have to stick my legs out to be comfortable

PeriodFeatures · 12/02/2014 22:32

don't flamboyantly turn pages

This made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

On consideration, I'd rather sit net to a larger person than someone who flamboyantly turned pages. Especially if it was the pages of say, The Daily Telegraph.

DP and I once had an enormous row before boarding a place. The atmosphere between us was horrendous. I sat and sobbed quietly to myself for well over an hour. The poor poor bloke next to us. I'm sure he wouldve happily swapped me for a larger person. All flights are almost always hell. For everyone. Just wear clean dry clothes and avoid touching flesh, youll be fine. (That rule pretty much goes for everyone anyway) Unless you are a very attractive man, then you are welcome to just wear a vest.

Joules68 · 12/02/2014 22:33

Well yes, she will have to pay for an extra seat.... If not would the person next to her be able to just pay for their half a seat? No, thought not

manicinsomniac · 12/02/2014 22:34

If you can afford it, 2 seats might help you feel a bit relaxed.

I wonder if it would help if airlines asked people for their height and build on booking. They could use it to organise seating more efficiently so that everybody had enough space and they don't have to increase seat size (and therefore decrease passenger numbers).

I, for example, am only just over 5' tall and have a tiny frame. I could manage quite happily with less than a whole seat and could let someone with a bigger frame have the extra space if they were sitting next to me. My children only need half a seat. So, across a row of 6 we could have Child 1, Large person, Child 2, large person, me, large person. Then everyone would have enough space.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:34

I'd rather sit next to a nice larger person than some of the rude twunts on this thread.

It's possible to gently point something out to someone in a nice way, if they are embarrassed and finding a situation hard, without just wading in with "lose some weight god you are entitled".

Dawndonnaagain · 12/02/2014 22:35

This reply has been deleted

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Only1scoop · 12/02/2014 22:35

Agree Fanjo....some really harsh words on here.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/02/2014 22:40

I agree with Fanjo, bloody hell this place is vile sometimes!

Joules68 · 12/02/2014 22:44

Yet the thread about the NEXT model is full of insults about her slimmer frame and slimmer people in general and people are surprised to be pulled up on it

It's like obesity should be accepted, welcomed and accommodated and we aren't allowed to comment on it.... Yet if you are the right weight it's a free for all with insults Hmm

RestingActress · 12/02/2014 22:44

Just Shock at some of the responses on here.

Yes it is uncomfy and unpleasant being squashed up against someone else for a couple of hours, but such rude responses to the OP are incredibly mean.

OP get there as early as you can and maybe mention your concerns at check in. Have a lovely holiday

Fairenuff · 12/02/2014 22:46

Have you looked into pre-booking seats? If you have an aisle seat and your dh sits next to you, you can take up some of his seat can't you?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:46

Joules.

No. Its like people shouldn't act like dicks to an OP.

YellowTulips · 12/02/2014 22:46

OP you have a couple of choices here.

In the short term you either accept the discomfit/embarrassment (minimising it as best you can by pre booking your seat) or taking the action to book 3 seats between you and your DH.

In the longer term you have far more choices you can make. Losing weight is hard, but with the right support it can be done.

Good luck

SaucyJack · 12/02/2014 22:46

I wonder if it would help if airlines asked people for their height and build on booking. They could use it to organise seating more efficiently so that everybody had enough space and they don't have to increase seat size (and therefore decrease passenger numbers).

This could be a great idea. Just so long as they also individualize everybody's ticket price to reflect the percentage of their seat they're allowed to accommodate.......

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:48

I wonder if they should ask people how rude and insensitive they are. Then people could get a discount if they had to sit beside them.

QOD · 12/02/2014 22:52

Ha nice one fanjo

Mean fuckers

manicinsomniac · 12/02/2014 22:52

why would you need to reduce the ticket price though saucyjack? As I'm small the space is going spare anyway. I don't take it up so why can't someone larger have it? Physical size shouldn't have anything to do with how much you pay for public transport.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:53

And I do fit in a standard seat.

I just have this thing called empathy.

Fairenuff · 12/02/2014 22:54

Actually, I think it is fair to pay for two seats if you take up more room than one allocated space.

It's not fair for a person to have to share the space that they paid for just because the person next to them doesn't fit in their space.

I don't think it's unkind to talk about that.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 22:56

Yes. In a nice and sensitive way.

Fairenuff · 12/02/2014 22:59

Mumsnet AIBU 'nice and sensitive' Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/02/2014 23:00

Many are, thank god.