To dread flying because of my size?

[annauk1]

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

I think the OP might wish she never asked this! I hope as a larger woman she does not have low self esteem or this thread might be truly upsetting for her, as it would have me a few years back when I was overweight. The OP wasn't being rude IMO, she was trying to come across light hearted I feel on a sensitive subject for her. It's not easy being over weight, can be for many reasons and we are not to judge. I'm answer to your post, if you try you might be able
To book extra leg room seats, they always seem roomier and you can sit with your DP too! Happy holidays! And lose weight for yourself to be healthier and happier not for anyone else!

Definitely try and arrange seats together. Phone and go early to confirm etc.

Flying is uncomfortable for all and I dislike sitting next to strangers, especially on long haul when I'm desperately trying to sleep and feeling squished in my seat. This is why people may get huffy, they are stressed and anxious themselves. Try not to take it too personally.

I agree about using the armrest. that someone was asked to put it up, that would be completely unacceptable to me as I need this barrier. I think being asked this may induce a panic attack for me.

I am sure you will be able to pre arrange your seats so you are with your dh. Enjoy your holiday :)

SaucyJack

As with many others on this thread think you missing the point. Perhaps not everyone is as expressive as you...all I read is worry and concern

I almost posted my own size, hair, sexuality, skin colour, significant markings but I won't as it will be falling into the trap of playground justification of points of view that I grew out a long time ago.

Crome Yellow: DVT blamed on our fellow passengers I have heard it all now!

OP keep the faith have fun and ignore the ffers

Have you tried losing weight so the poor sod sat next to you isn't squashed. You are in the territory of hugeness

Nasty.

Yes Op not sure if you have posted in AIBU before....maybe a question like this in travel or chat?
I know the wording of your OP hasn't done you any favours, but you have had some hard words to read.
I hope you are ok.

According to the OP, the problem will only arise if she is not seated next to her DP.

If they are separated, surely the squashed person would be more than happy to swap seats with the DP?

Everyone comfy.

she was trying to come across light hearted I feel on a sensitive subject for her

It's a sensitive subject for everyone. You are simply not allowed an opinion on someone's attitude or situation or behaviour or concerns or anything if they are overweight. You are labelled (as some have been here) as a cunt or cruel or whatever.

I agree that being mean because of someone's weight is horrible. I'm a 6-8 and the things people say to me is because not only having an opinion but saying it to a person directly is fine as long as it's a low weight, not a high weight.

The point here is that the OP made mean comments about a fantasy passenger who would well be within their rights to be annoyed if someone encroached on the space that they had paid for. Be that because of weight, behaviour, luggage, or anything else that could take up room.

Last time I flew was with KLM on a city hopper to meet a connecting flight in Amsterdam. The flight there was only about an hour but those planes are very compact. If you aren't 'standard size' you are very likely to take up space of your neighbour. I have space to spare BUT have huge boobs that I can't do much about. A tall and large man was seated next to me. He tried to make himself smaller - it was more his top half that was a problem, he was so broad. He sat for the whole flight with his arms crossed, trying to be small, but he only succeeded in making them at exactly the right height to rest on my boobs.

Honestly, it looked like we were 'made for each other', we were like a human Tetris puzzle. Poor man, looked so embarrassed but the flight was full.

To the posters calling others 'cunts' and other unlovely terms here - you sound ridiculous and unable to be in any way objective. You don't get to silence people for answering the OP's question. OP phrased it in a way that was quite defensive, her prerogative, but the terms she used weren't nice either. What is it with some posters who just automatically leap on any perception of 'anti-fat', without any foundation whatsoever, and derail the thread? Some posters were quite vocal and were called on it, why the continued bleating if you have nothing else to add?

Aircraft is the size it is; it's not going to magically expand for us, is it?

x-posted with PenguinDancer

and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space.

YABU. It is not fat phobe to want to sit in a space you have paid for and not have anybody else in that space.

YABU. If you know the seat will be 'tiny' and did not opt to buy two seats. Your need to have a bargain seat does not trump another passenger's right for wanting THEIR space.

YANBU to be worried. Can you speak to the airline about it now?

So anyone who objects is a 'fat phobe'?

So anyone who objects to the objectors is someone who 'automatically leap on any perception of 'anti-fat', without any foundation'.

It's never been my experience that the food trays are collected shortly afterwards and usually you can't ring the bell for the attendant because they are all serving passengers further down/up. I have asked them to remove trays earlier before (just didn't want kids to upset them) and the attendant just looked cross and said I'd have to wait until they came along to collect them. I can understand that, otherwise everyone would be ringing their bell to get their tray collected earlier. Why would I try to humiliate a larger passenger by holding onto their tray ? . Probably would have been more embarrassing for her if I refused and made an issue about it.

I can imagine it would be an awful conversation... But presumably the tray was ok 'digging in' whilst the contents were being consumed? How come it's then a problem after?

What a terrible thread - I think most people would not open their mouths to spew shite if they didn't have the protection of the computer screen in front of them. Some of you are cowards and bullys!

OP I hope you are still reading and realise that many people are just trying to be helpful. Your size has no bearing on you as a human being - I am sure you are a lovely person - your anxiety about sitting on your own really comes out of your OP. I totally sympathise as I am also a very anxious flyer. So - some tips on managing that stress - music (stock up some of your favourite music so that you can stick in the earphones as soon as possible after take-off); Bachs Rescue Remedy is marvellous stuff too!

With respect to the seat and space issues - why don't you phone the airline beforehand and ask them if there is anyway this can be managed without having to go to extra expense? Perhaps, if the plane configuration allows, there might be two individual seats (sometimes at the back or at the emergency exit). If not, ask the airline to sell you another seat, but ask for a reduced price and tell them why.

Good luck OP. Enjoy your holiday and don't be so hard on yourself.
x

Angrybirdy... Why is it not ok for people to say that they would NOT like to have their space taken up by another person?

You pay for what you have consumed, yes? Therefore if you need more space, you pay for it to ensure that it is available to you. You don't rely on people - strangers - to make allowance for you when they aren't obliged to do that.

Sitting in awkward positions to accommodate somebody else is very uncomfortable. Have you tried it? You just will the minutes of the flight to pass very quickly - and they don't.

Either way, being 'fat' is not a measure of worth, it's a measure of dimension. Plane seats are a certain dimension and they aren't flexible. Nothing much to argue about there, is there? I don't care what other people weigh but I would mind if my space were encroached because I don't like to be that close to people I don't know. What is difficult to understand about that?

Don't know. Wondered that myself at the time. I guess when they were pushing down with the knife and fork it was a bit more manageable but once they'd finished and were leaning back again, the table was tilting a bit. It wasn't an awful conversation - I was bit too surprised and sympathetic at the same time to say no. She wasn't rude.

This thread reminds me of the worst seat neighbour not sure if that is a term ever in the history of aviation.

I had an aisle seat and she was sat by the window. She spent almost the entire flight stood over me chewing nuts spitting the shells on to the floor and eating a polony.

And when I asked if we could swap seats since it was clear she wanted to stand by the aisle she refused.

As long as you don't do that I am sure you will be fine.

here a picture of a polony for anyone who has confused as to what it was.

Just read over my post, I was not implying that you would be terrible to sit next .

I do have to add that my worst flight ever (due to other passengers) was not one of these two flights.

I fly quite a lot, and I have twice asked to change seats after someone very overweight sat next to me and took up a good amount of my space - both times I was moved. One of the passengers was literally sitting on part of my hip/leg.

I would never make a scene or a comment, or try to embarrass the person, but likewise I will not sit for hours being squashed to spare the feelings of a very overweight seatmate. I just got up, approached the flight attendant, and quietly explained. Both times, though, this involved an assessment of the situation, which means the person next to me knew full well what was going on.

I feel very strongly that if you know you take up more than one seat, you need to book two seats, or premium economy/business. It is simply not fair on the person next to you. That just has to be part of the holiday budgeting.

I do sympathise with you - those seats are ridiculously small, and I know the extra cost can be prohibitive. In this case, as you have only booked one seat each, talk to the airline and explain that you need more space. If it's not a full flight they will help you.

I hope you have a great flight, but if the person next to you moves away, they are not a fat-phobe. They are uncomfortable.

It doesn't matter whether you are large, broad shouldered due to body building, have a child that won't stop pulling someone's hair, want to tuck your legs under you, read a large newspaper, or you're a man who has such large bollocks that need airing throughout the flight and you must sit with your legs wide apart, then you pay for the space you actually need and make sure that you don't encroach on other people's space. I know that I will need to stand up several times during a flight due to a back problem, so I always pre-book an aisle seat. It's not up to others to be inconvenienced because of my needs, even if it does cost me money.

I hope the OP isn't too upset by the comments on this thread when she comes back.

I feel very strongly that airlines should provide bigger seats, rather than bigger seat belts. I think the size and space they have now is ridiculous. I traveled to America with barely any space to move and whilst I am big for my height, I the national average size at sixteen.

I have physical disabilities and I found the lack of space not only very uncomfortable, but actually painful. I had to get out my seat often to stretch out painful joints and muscles and was actually asked to not block the aisle or get out of my seat unless it was necessary by the flight attendant.

I don't want to encroach on another person's space, but even thinner people were elbow to elbow on this flight. I know it's for profit's sake and they are a business, but I think there should be a more generous space in all seats. Are there rules on the minimum space they can provide or is it up to the company itself?

OP, try to ignore posts on here that are insulting. Yes some people aren't bothered by the weight, but the contact and lack of their own space, but I have met enough people that despise overweight people to know there are people who do judge on size and make people feel uncomfortable about it. It's apparent even on this thread. Being sensitive about it is quite normal for people who have experience maltreatment and bullying for their size, and anyone with an ounce of empathy would see that in the OP rather than taking it as an offensive comment.

Whilst average sizes are larger, I think that society needs to reflect that by allowing these people to be as comfortable as those who are not. But it doesn't happen because discrimination against the overweight is seen as more acceptable, because then maybe they would lose the weight and stop offending people with their size, right? It's unfair in my eyes, but I don't know what we can do about it.

Sorry Lying.....couldn't get through the ?..??..?? Thought I was at school for a mo. Fat isn't a measure of what? Point missed...again. As for consumption I hope you have paid for all your hot air.

Anyho..as others have said very eloquently and I have may not have if you are very concerned OP please contact the airline...but remember it's a means to an end...and if one of the posters darling children is kicking your seat from behind I am sure that is all OK as they paid for the space in front of them!

Flying is awful for most of us don't worry and three hours isn't a long time x