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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be extremely fucked off ?!?

230 replies

PistolAnnies · 12/02/2014 18:38

...with a fellow mum, and supposed 'friend' at the school?

Basically, my son is best friends with this boy (they're both in Yr1 & went through Reception / nursery together). The other boys mum is a young mum who I thought was quite mature for her age, lives with her mum and dad still - her mum does more with the boy than her though, typical loving nan I guess?

Anyway, we've known each other for a few years now - this family know the shit we've had to endure; financial issues, hubby's Stroke, other issues.

I posted a FB status status last week saying for anyone who was online, if they didn't like me then delete me ... Well, the nan deleted me! Hmmm, surprised as we've always been pals ?

Then the kids mum, posted a status about loving her new work colleagues etc, I commented saying that was great but not to be too open to them as I've had sufficient experience of being shit on by colleagues in the past - she got really pissed off with this so I removed my comments. I since saw a comment from her to somebody on her FB calling me a 'bloody crank'?!

I took this girl's son on an expensive day trip out last Summer, bought him lunch, toys etc Confused This girl calls me a crank yet has just announced she's preggo again with her 'friends' baby this time ?!?

Just to add this girl also claims fraudelent benefits, which pisses me right off...

Would you be alnnoyed? Would you pull her at school or just ignore them from now on??

I feel really upset and disappointed to have let my guard down and opened my heart again to people who I believed to be decent people, friends Hmm

OP posts:
Pumpkinpositive · 13/02/2014 08:18

Maybe your ex friend did like you, OP. But time, and your facebook posts, have led to a change of heart. These things happen.

You come over as hostile, aggressive and paranoid in this thread. If this spills across into real life, it can be very wearing to be around.

ArsePaste · 13/02/2014 08:19

Have you considered that if the same bad things keep happenning to you over and over ... that maybe the problem isn't other people?

brooncoo · 13/02/2014 08:19

FB is fine and useful if you are not a nob.

FunkyBoldRibena · 13/02/2014 08:20

You take somebody's child out for the day, pay for the tickets, food, sweets, toys then you're saying you wouldn't be fuming to see them slate you to other people?! Fuck offf!!

a - it was last summer - does she have to bow down to you forever because you took her kid out? You need to get over it.
b - she was responding to your post making out she was an idiot.
c - your FB status was passive aggressive and attention seeking.
d - you really are coming across badly here. Perhaps it's time to reassess your relationship with the internet.

HyvaPaiva · 13/02/2014 08:21

OP, you said 'my guard is truly up'. It isn't. The way you write on Facebook - from what you've told us - is the exact opposite. Maybe it would be a good idea and more calming for you to actually have your guard up and not write such attention-seeking posts.

hickorychicken · 13/02/2014 08:21

Ah so shes having a baby for benrfits...although she has a new job? Hmm
Biscuit

AllThatGlistens · 13/02/2014 08:21

You're 30? Shock

Wow. And you don't think all this.. drama is a bit much? Sounds exhausting.

chandlery · 13/02/2014 08:23

To be honest it sounded like you were raining on her parade a bit posting warnings on her happy news status.

SpottyTeacakes · 13/02/2014 08:27

Your age is relevant because you were implying that your ex friend was being immature. You're older than me but certainly not acting it. Honestly, things like that on fb are beyond annoying. It's on par with 'I hate my life' 'oh what's up hun?' 'I'll pm you Hun'. Argh!!!!

Also just because some of your ex work colleagues didn't like you doesn't mean everyone will have the same problems. You should have said you were pleased for her and left it at that. Actually what you said was pretty nasty.

ilovesooty · 13/02/2014 08:28

Posting that response about her new colleagues in a public place was really inappropriate. I'm surprised you can't see that.

I tend to delete people who don't know how to use social media responsibly. I'm rather attached to my job and would rather like to keep it.

Daykin · 13/02/2014 08:28

Maybe she used to like you but you've called a spade a spade one too many times. Being nice to people you don't like isn't always being fake or two faced or a bitch. Sometimes it's just about having the maturity to tolerate differences and rub along in broader society. It would be a total nightmare if we all stomped about calling spades, spades.

I don't like ds1's best friends mother. She's not horrible but she is tactless and overly blunt and I have no desire to spend time with her. Not only do I let her take my child out, I actually stand and talk pleasantly to her at the school gates, invite her in for tea, grit my teeth while she unthinkingly dismisses my choices over everything from my career to the type of biscuits I have. I do this, not because i am two faced or fake, but because I'm not an atrocious cunt.

FunkyBoldRibena · 13/02/2014 08:29

You can have work colleagues on facebook if you aren't stupid enough to post about work on it. That's probably what got you unstuck and why she thinks you are a 'bloody crank'...and possibly why you won't get to take her child out for the day again.

notundermyfoof · 13/02/2014 08:32

I steer well clear of people who post things like that on facebook, they tend to be high maintenance pita ime.

ToBeSure · 13/02/2014 08:36

Oh dear Shock. OP, your 'delete me' post was ridiculous. I would have deleted anyone who had posted that. Also, you seem proud of your straight talking manner - I suspect your pride might be misplaced. Confused

I don't get your issue with taking her son out. Presumably you did it because you wanted to and not to buy loyalty from her.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 13/02/2014 08:37

Maybe she DID like you last summer when you rook her child out, she's just changed her mind NOW because she can see what a nob you are? Hmm

QOD · 13/02/2014 08:37

People like you come off my news feed

fideline · 13/02/2014 08:39
Biscuit
PistolAnnies · 13/02/2014 08:41

hickorychicken - yes, in her own words, she cannot afford to get a place of her own just with one child, but with another it will be 'easy'! Bearing in mind she has been fraudulently claiming working tax credits (for over a year whilst unemployed) and childcare costs (long after childcare ended)!

OP posts:
PistolAnnies · 13/02/2014 08:42

fideline - you keep posting those emoji's but what the fuck is it? Looks like a mini afro or something ??

OP posts:
PistolAnnies · 13/02/2014 08:43

QOD - then why reply here?! Blush

OP posts:
SpottyTeacakes · 13/02/2014 08:46

Biscuit Is a biscuit. It means no comment.
Blush Is an embarrassed face.

fideline · 13/02/2014 08:46

Do I? Pretty sure that's the first biscuit i'd offered anyone for quite a while.

You'd probably better off accepting the [grip] someone offered you upthread, though.

NaggingNellie · 13/02/2014 08:56

I think the 'delete me if you don't like it' was asking for some negative attention tbh, but they do sound like a deeply dysfunctional family.

TheCatThatSmiled · 13/02/2014 08:56

PistolAnnies you really need to read what people are saying.

Why do you think people are reacting to you like this?
You call a spade a spade, you say what you think. Are you the only person who is allowed that freedom of expression?

You said 'delete me' and someone Nan did. Big deal.
You posted miserable comments on someone's 'happy' post. Mean spirited and bad mannered.
You are now bitching about who this woman chooses to father her child. None of your business.

Seriously, grow up and get a grip.

hickorychicken · 13/02/2014 09:01

I feel sorry for your RL friends!
Do you post :'( then when someone asks whats up say doesnt matter?