To buy my DP'S socks? If I am, why?

[hickorychicken]

...

You know, at the risk of being called po faced, one of the things that depresses me most about Mumsnet is the way many of us are modelling relationships to our children. Don't we want things to be different? When I was a yung woman I wanted so very much for things to be different for my daughters.........

If my daughters want to buy their ohs socks i wont mind

When i was younger my mum was in a really abusive relationship and she had no control over money or anything, so sock buying was out of the question. Just her leaving the house and being in a place without him to buy socks never happened so i will happily buy DP's socks as long as we live for a bit of mundane normalness.

Horses for courses, each to their own, live and let live, nowt as queer as folk, etc etc.

I've come to realise over the years that what works for one relationship doesn't work for another.

Don't we want things to be different? When I was a yung woman I wanted so very much for things to be different for my daughters.........

what do you mean different?

my husband is perfectly capable of buying his own socks and pants and regularly will if he is near a shop and needs them but if I am in town it really is no hassle or issue to buy him socks,

Just out of interest, before I started using washable pads DH would pick up sanpro for me. Is that any different to me picking up some socks or whatever for him? Shouldn't we teach our children that a good relationship means working in partnership with your OH, not leaving everybody to just fend for themselves. That's not a relationship in my book.

I think it depends a lot on who does the washing maybe? My husband does it mostly (I can work the washing machine but after lots of costly errors and pink school shirts he tends to do the bulk of it!) so he puts the laundry away. Therefore he's the most likely to notice when socks/pants/tights are in short supply. Not just for me and him but also our kids...

In that case if I'm popping somewhere where socks/pants are on sale I may well pick some up after we've have a vague "where on earth is all my underwear" conversation. But he is also just as capable of doing so too, and does.

I'm not sure our relationship is contentious enough for AIBU

I don't think either DH or i have ever bought socks. Our mums buy them as 'stocking' fillers at xmas and we share them (similar sized feet ). Oh and DH often buys me hosiery (he loves them!), as does my mum. So i doubt i've ever bought them for myself either.

I buy a fair few of DP's clothes - I offered a wile ago because he hates shopping and I love it.

But I'll admit it, I like dressing him up in clothes I like. Don't know if this counts as 'infantalising' him, probably.

oh god, there is nothing more unsexy than a man who has a wife that is actually his mother

you buy his clothes? its just a bit shit.

he can shop online if the highstreet is so traumatising.

I find this kind of behaviour makes me want to sick up a leg

"Just out of interest, before I started using washable pads DH would pick up sanpro for me. Is that any different to me picking up some socks or whatever for him"

Did he say to his friends "oh, I have to buy her tampons, if I left it to her there's be blood all over the sofa........"?

I know lots of men who chose their ladies clothes and have really good taste and the women cant be bothered.

so what...

My DH cant be bothered with clothes...he would just buy the cheapest crap he can get...I like him wearing nice clothes!

MrsK

Our mums buy them as 'stocking' fillers at xmas and we share them (similar sized feet blush )

I hope your not showing signs of infantile/dependant behaviour there...

Actually rainrain it's more primark dependant behaviour - Mum works opposite a massive one

Hmm I tend to buy dh's socks yes. What happens is about once a year I log onto the M&S website and replenish the whole family's socks and pants supplies (dh gets loads of M&S vouchers via a loyalty scheme and to be frank there's little else I want to buy from M&S) I say to him I'm doing the big pants order, you need anything? he says yes. I say same ones as last time OK? He says yes. I hit buy. We don't live near major shops so online is the way to go, I save actual trips to shops for things I need to see IRL/try on.

Is that really anti-feminist of me? Maybe should add I ask him to pick stuff up at real shops loads when he has meetings etc in town. It works for us!

I buy the socks for DH and three teen DSes - all have the same size feet. They are colour coded, so I know whose are whose

curlew

Dont we want things to be different for our daughters.

yes

I want my DD's socks to be specially made by nuns of St. Claire....

Most of the time, anything you do for the other is reciprocated? If I see socks, know DP is running low, I will lop said socks into trolley. Its no big deal. He, on the other hand, brings me tea in bed EVERY morning. I know what I'd prefer.

Are you sure MrsK you did'nt stay at home too long did you before you moved out...rendering you unable to buy socks....

Yes Cereal I get tea too and many many other small kindnesses..and big ones.

I buy 70% of DHs clothes. 10% he buys his own and 20% from his Mum and Xmas. I buu the majority as he has no interest of clothes shopping and I get to feel less guilty when I buy any.

I think Starballbunny and I must share a husband - mine doesn't ever want to buy clothes either, and if I didn't occasionally buy me for him, he wouldn't have a single decent item to wear. Not helped by his habit of doing bike maintenance in whatever he happens to be wearing - fine if it is his old, ratty jeans, not so good if it is the new, unmarked ones!

YABU. Father Christmas delivers socks. Why would you need to buy any

If DH asked me to pick up some socks, of course, I would. It isn't difficult or much hassle. Similarly he has bought me tights when I've needed them.

If I notice he's running low on socks I buy them. I would notice this because he's either frantically searching for them every day or there are fewer coming through the laundry. If he notices he might ask me to get some more as I go to the supermarket fairly regularly and he doesn't.

I don't find this effects how sexually attractive I find him, I don't feel like his mother and I don't think it matters a fig to me how others work their relationships so long as they are not hurting each other.

I'm surprised there is such uproar over a wife/partner buying a bloke some socks. Chill out!
I agree with a previous poster, relationships are supposed to be partnerships. I am shit at remembering to get washing up liquid and putting cheques in the bank (Gp says I'm discalcul...something or other) but he makes me coffee and rubs my feet. I buy socks when his vampire feet wear holes in the ones he has and we're in the supermarket. Big deal.

Exactly - big deal.

I do not become his mother just because I buy him socks occasionally. What a stupid thing to say.