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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you've got somethng nasty to nasty about your step child you do not put it on facebook

118 replies

endlesstidying · 10/02/2014 16:43

And to tell my friend she's in the wrong and to delete her status? Things are not easy for her at and the moment and her step son (15) is certainly not being easy but he's had an awful time too (can't say too much here)

Perhaps I shouldn't have got involved and perhaps I shouldn't have told her to delete it before he got back from school and saw it but given she's called him a "spoilt, selfish unthinking bstrd" AIBU or am I actually as she says an "interfering busy body who just wants to curtail her right to free speech". I told her that she was obviously really angry at the moment but she'd regret what she'd said later when she thought about it and it wouldn't help so it may be an idea to delete it before things got worse.

Its so sad all round :(

She hasn't deleted it.

OP posts:
TamerB · 10/02/2014 16:46

Very sad. I can't see why you want her as a friend.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/02/2014 16:46

Even if you think that about someone you don't put it on a forum for the world and his wife to see.....especially saying that about a child who has been through the mill.

What if her partner sees it? What an idiot.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 10/02/2014 16:46

...and I would be deleting her!

SantanaLopez · 10/02/2014 16:46

Free speech? FFS.

She's an idiot, but it'll come back to bite her.

wilkos · 10/02/2014 16:48

What an unpleasant thing to post... Think I would defriend her too. Does she not realise that this says WAY more about her than about her step son. And not anything good either.

Poor kid Sad

BridgetJonesPants25 · 10/02/2014 16:55

That is a horrible thing to say, if it was a jokey thing that her SS would find funny then that's one thing but to write something like that about a child on a public forum is childish, selfish and cruel.

And FWIW if I was his Mum and found out she would know all about it. Nobody has the right to speak poorly of someone else's child so publicly. What will her husband say?

NoodleOodle · 10/02/2014 16:59

Sharing personal details about family dynamics and problems in facebook statuses is tacky at the very least, and in this circumstance is unwise. It's not fair or right to criticise a young person on such a public forum, and it's cruel. I would have done as you did and stuck my nose in it. So, I too would have advised her to delete the status. How horrible that se hasn't.

Original poster
endlesstidying · 10/02/2014 17:09

She's deleted it thankfully She's instead changed her status to a long ranty message about me saying its vile that even her so called friend won't support her and help her when she needs it and that I should mind my own bloody business. Oh and she's defriended me.

Saves me a job I guess. I hope when she thinks it through later she'll realise I was trying to help her.

Just hope he hadn't seen it. He's a lovely lad but has been through more nasty rubbish by the age of 15 than some of us will meet in a life time :( I am far happier with her current status to be honest I can take it on the chin he may not be able to.

OP posts:
squoosh · 10/02/2014 17:15

She's an idiot.

Venting like that on facebook might give her momentary relief but it will cause no end of problems. She needs to grow up.

squoosh · 10/02/2014 17:16

Endlesstidying you are WELL rid. What an attention seeking gobshite she sounds! Poor stepson.

LovelyJubblies · 10/02/2014 17:18

Sounds like you're better off without such a childish idiot in your life.

Wherewhenwhy · 10/02/2014 17:28

You don't need that, run and don't look back.

Hopefully the poor child will relise it's not just him who is having difficulties with this really immature adult, is he likely to get support from somewhere?

Being a teen is hard enough, without adults turning into idiots.

needaholidaynow · 10/02/2014 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hackmum · 10/02/2014 17:53

Stupid, stupid woman. Really you are better off without her in your life.

Original poster
endlesstidying · 10/02/2014 18:36

Sigh just got an email from her husband asking what I've done to upset his wife so much? Do I tell him? I've got a screen shot of original page (took it after she started gettting nasty) and copies of my messages to her.

Or do I just say we've had a personal disagreement and best to talk to her about it? My main concern is not to upset his ds and if that means I get a bit of shit thrown my way so be it

OP posts:
shoppingbagsundereyes · 10/02/2014 18:39

This is awful, you poor thing. I would tell him that you felt her Facebook status was unnecessarily unkind to his son and you told her so. Let her then explain what she said and why. He needs to know about all this if his son has been through the mill IMO.

MrsCakesPremonition · 10/02/2014 18:41

I'd send him the screenshot. If he doesn't know how his wife feels then he really should know so he can protect his child. If he does know, then it won't come as a surprise.

The friendship sounds dead already.

DrMaybe · 10/02/2014 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlpacaLypse · 10/02/2014 18:43

Sad, Was going to post something very like what MrsCake just said.

maddening · 10/02/2014 18:44

send him the screen shot imo - you're involved now anyway and she obviously not keeping her mouth shut about you.

Finola1step · 10/02/2014 18:45

Tell him that you have had a falling out over something she posted on fb. Tell him that it would be best if she told him about the contents. He needs to know what she is saying about his child.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 10/02/2014 18:45

That is overkill on her part, however she feels about him he is 15 not 25.

You have tried OP she can only blame herself for whatever this stirs up.

TheOneWithTheHair · 10/02/2014 18:45

Yes I'd let him know exactly what happened. Tell him you have a screen shot if he wants to see.

DangerRabbit · 10/02/2014 18:47

Yes, I would send her the screenshot. Good for you for standing up for the poor boy.

bodygoingsouth · 10/02/2014 18:47

yes send him the shot. someone who has responsibility for this child needs to know. I would also inform his mother. disgusting behaviour.

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