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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want to pay for night at a hotel

158 replies

jugofwildflowers · 07/02/2014 19:17

My youngest dd aged 12 asked me if I could take her and 2 friends to stay at a 4 * hotel somewhere as they had not stayed at one before, paying for it themselves, as a treat.

I will be driving them there and back, looking after them etc. I was asked to go rather than the other mums as am thought to be a fun mum. However, I am busy, work w/es but I was honoured to be asked.

Would you say the cost should be split fourways? Or AIBU to have wanted the cost split three ways (excluding me as driver/'baby'sitter) for the room?!

OP posts:
Creamycoolerwithcream · 08/02/2014 10:34

Why is it insane? Why shouldn't the girls want to do nice things with their own money? It's better than buying more stuff. I can't see it's any different than when my son uses his own money for a gokarting day or towards a big football match. I think it's a good skill to have in life, to be able to plan treats with your own money.

frugalfuzzpig · 08/02/2014 10:43

I think it sounds great! I'd much rather my DD wanted to spend her money on a fun experience with her friends than on a designer t shirt or other 'stuff'.

Lots of people take trips just for the hell of it. It's nice to explore somewhere different.

Make sure you take a camera :)

You need to plan what to do for other meals though as it could get pricey!

Bearbehind · 08/02/2014 10:48

I just think it's a grown up thing to do, not for kids on their own. Going to these places, or for afternoon tea, with family is quite different IMO.

I may well be doing them a disservice, but I have a vision of 3 precocious little madams prancing around the hotel, thinking they are in Sex In the City or something.

One poster said that she and her friend 'buy time' together and have these kind of breaks but I can't see why children would need to do this as, generally, they will spend their school days together, so they don't really need 'together time'.

There are plenty of sporty activities they could spend their money on. I just think it's a bit sad that things that are real treats for adults will be a bit 'been there done that' at such a young age.

sashh · 08/02/2014 10:56

It sounds fab to me. All the best bits of a sleepover without any tidying up afterwards. Unlimited time in the pool on top.

OP

Has your daughter seen this?

old.towerstimes.co.uk/Resort/Rooms/sleepover.htm

frugalfuzzpig · 08/02/2014 11:04

Even if they are prancing about and all that though, they have paid for it, so I think that'll stand them in good stead for the future - they'll know that if they want a treat they need to save up. They are bound to appreciate the experience more than a normal family holiday or day trip that just 'happens' (ie paid for by mum and dad) IMO.

As long as they all appreciate that you are giving up your time to enable their plan, I think it's great.

comingintomyown · 08/02/2014 11:15

Firmly in the wtf camp re 12 year olds and hotels !

Grennie · 08/02/2014 11:22

At 12 I went on an educational trip to London with the school. The thing me and my friends loved, was staying in a nice hotel. It wasn't even as nice and the OP's hotel sounds - no pool or buffet breakfast, but we really enjoyed it. It was basically a posh sleepover.

mrsjay · 08/02/2014 11:23

oh to answer your question pay the hotel if you were taking girls to a hotel for a show or a concert valid reason you would need to pay your way,

Hulababy · 08/02/2014 11:24

Sounds like a nice thug for the girls to want to do, an will make them feel very grown up. Rather that than a pampering party ending with a face full of makeup.

My 11y (y7 and nearly 12) loves to stay in a nice hotel. Although she probably wouldn't come up with this idea herself I can imagine how it might arise when a group of them are all chatting together and them then plotting it all. Dd and her friends would love it!

Hulababy · 08/02/2014 11:27

Mind you my 11y also wants to go to a race track and drive a Ferrari. You can do it from age 10y and about 5 foot tall. She fancies the 4x4 track too. And you know what - if she chose to do that as her birthday treat then yes, I'd let her. Why not?

Bearbehind · 08/02/2014 11:34

But hulababy, those things cater for children, if they didn't, your children couldn't do them.

I'd be horrified if I went for a relaxing weekend hotel break and was surrounded by a bunch of prima donnas thinking they owned the place (again, maybe underestimating them).

On the subject of the AIBU though, it seems very strange that the OP is 'down with the kids' enough to think this is a good idea, yet is quibbling over £30 when she is actually getting a night away too.

Agree with mrsjayyou wouldn't expect your kids to pay for you to attend a show/ concert.

mrsjay · 08/02/2014 11:37

but hulababy that is an actual thing to do

frugalfuzzpig · 08/02/2014 11:50

I've seen lots of threads where a MNer wants to take their DCs (often younger than 12) to a naice afternoon tea for example (including one of my own!), and I've never seen anyone saying that's a terrible idea or pointless or too grown up, it's just seen as something fun to do with your child to feel a bit grown up as a special treat.

I don't see how a night in a hotel with a yummy breakfast and unlimited swimming is anymore pointless than just going out for a meal as a treat.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 08/02/2014 11:51

Are the anti 12 year olds at hotels anti because
They don't think children should go to hotels
Don't think the girls should have thought of it?
My family are keen mini breakers and have for many years taken our DC who are now teens and 20's away to hotels a few times a year. So 2 adults, 3 DC using the pool, eating the buffet breakfast isn't that different to the OP and the 3 girls doing the same.

mrsjay · 08/02/2014 11:53

I just don't get why they would want to thats most 12 yr olds want to go to the cinema or something staying in a fancy hotel for no reason just to sleep doesn't make sense to me I have no issues with children being hotels

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 08/02/2014 11:59

Why?
Really? Hotel treat for ....12 year olds....
No surprise our children are growing up faster than ever before.
Whatever next?

Littleen · 08/02/2014 11:59

Wouldn't really take some 12 year olds to stay in a fancy hotel for no reason. Can't they just have their nails painted and have a sleepover or something? :P

Sunbeam18 · 08/02/2014 11:59

They are not going 'just to sleep'; the OP has said several times that they will use the pool, enjoy being away from home together in a nice room in a hotel with nice facilities and fancy breakfast. What's hard to understand about that?

theborg · 08/02/2014 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/02/2014 12:09

OP said, They intend to spend time in the pool as they are, as I said, v sporty. They are all in various athletic/swim clubs so wanted a decent pool to keep up their training combined with a bit of an adventure.

Hardly prima donnas and precocious little madams prancing around the hotel, thinking they are in Sex In the City or something.

mrsjay · 08/02/2014 12:11

I am not going to argue the toss it is not something i have heard of before and i just dont understand it

Bearbehind · 08/02/2014 12:27

I did say I may be underestimating them donkeys. It's just that I would have thought the whole point of wanting to do such an adult thing would be to act like adults.

I have been in a very posh hotel with a bunch of little madams who couldn't be arsed to dress for breakfast and their parents/ guardians thought it was jolly amusing to allow them to go to the restaurant in their pj's (4 12/13 year old girls). It just all looked very spoilt and entitled.

Again, I agree with mrsjay, I just can't really comprehend why you'd want your children to do this.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 08/02/2014 12:31

It's a 4* Novotel 125 per night including breakfast not a suite at the Ritz. I'm sure the DC know how to behave and if not the OP is there to guide them. I'm imagining it more like the girls loving the mini jam pots at breakfast and the hotel minis etc rather than running around acting entitled.

theborg · 08/02/2014 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeanSeberg · 08/02/2014 12:56

Lol at Novotel being 'fancy'.