to cry over hotel bridal policy?

[PrebendsBridge]

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

Dammit - fit into...

You could ask if it would be OK if you wore the dress but staged a screaming stand-up row with your DH in the hotel foyer where you yell "I can't believe that we'll have been married for ten years next month and this is how you are treating me!" so that the other bride doesn't suspect that it's your wedding day.

I'm feeling more and more convinced the OP should go elsewhere. All of us posters are angry at the hotel policy and treatment and want to teach them a lesson or make a point of principle.
However it is easy for us to say this. We won't have to actually do it. And most importantly it is the OPs wedding day. It's so important she can relax and enjoy it, and not feel she gave up her enjoyment to make a point. The key thing above making a point of principle is that she have a good day. I only think that can happen elsewhere now.
See it as the hotels loss, their mean spiritedness etc etc and rise above it, move on and enjoy your day elsewhere.

This is weird. So a wedding is taking place there, but they don't have exclusive use of the venue, as they are accepting dinner reservations from other diners. But they want to veto what other diners wear honestly OP either ignore them & go in your lovely dress or find somewhere else. I would be inclined to find somewhere else - & I won't be going to Rockcliffe in co Durham ever!

at this.

How very dare they.

I'd suggest:

"Thank you for your email, and your kind offer to tell me whether or not my wedding dress meets your standards. I assure you that when the day arrives that I feel ready to let a pimply hotel receptionist in a polyester suit decide what I wear on my Wedding Day, I will rush, nay, stampede to book my dinner at your fine establishment, rather than any of the many others of equal, or greater, quality in the area. A very good day to you."

Billy idol - white wedding!

However, I think we need to think of the other bride here. So flash mobs are out.

Have you asked the hotel to ask the bride of she objects to you having a meal there?

My hotel was a one bride a day jobby, it wouldn't have bothered me of a bride had a small meal in the restaurant. What did bother me was them using all my flowers and decorations I PAID FOR AND ARRANGED TO BE PUT UP the next day for a wedding fair. They quickly heard of my annoyance and swiftly took them all down. Shysters!

I love your dress op.

I was gonna suggest Seaham Hall too, as it's near my mil.

brunobrookes I hope you are a wedding dress advisor in RL

Op, hope you have a lovely day wherever you go and you have chosen a lovely dress.

Nerfmother have you seen the dress on the link? While it's a lovely dress to wear to get married in, it is not a "wedding dress". If you haven't seen the link, have a loom and it will become obvious why the hotel is being ridiculous.

If you have seen it, I don't understand why you think it's a problem?

So if four friends booked dinner and an overnight stay, turned up and a wedding happened to be going on, and one of the women was wearing a white dress - would they turn them away? It's ridiculous and I never heard anything like it.

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flash mob

Just what the doctor ordered

Yes I did see the dress, I worse something similar when I got married (registry office years ago) so it does have a bridal 'look' to me. I just think, you don't agree with the policy, they want to keep the person paying most happy, go elsewhere. Don't ruin your lovely day making some kind of statement, sitting there waiting to be challenged - how fun does that sound?

That's a beautiful dress and I would definitely want to keep it on for the night. Is there another 5 star hotel you could go to? Failing that I would insist that it is not technically bridal wear and that I would be wearing it.

If they have a one bride policy then all they are doing is protecting themselves. They will have a contract with the one bride and won't want that broken in any way shape or form. If it was me I would be taking my custom elsewhere. I understand where they are coming from but I would not, in any universe be told what I could or couldn't wear to dinner.

Beautiful dress! Have a fabulous day, where ever you decide to spend it. I can't see why anyone would want to go to a hotel that thinks it can speak to customers like that, but if it is where you want to be, enjoy!

want to go to dinner at the Raby Hunt restaurant now

Me too! Right ol' treck from Pru Heights though by the looks....

www.rockliffehall.com/occasions/weddings/

Sounds like a bridezilla hotel. They are making things difficult because they don't want a 'wedding' on their premises, without their overpriced, over the top package.

Find somewhere nicer, and duct-tape over DP's mouth before you book.

(Dress is gorgeous - better than anything 'bridal')

Also if the have a wedding that to them is worth thousands of pounds. They will more than likely turn you away if you wear that dress. Which they lawfully can. It's awful but the hotel industry is all about the money. Lovely dress though.

What a flock of twats! "If you wish to consult us on any alternative dresses" indeed! Not bloody likely

Do they ask everyone who has booked a table in their restaurant for the same evening as a wedding, exactly what their outfit plans are? I bloody bet they don't.

Prebends buy the quilted dildo dress and really piss them off! Only joking, your LK Bennett is awesome and so elegant. Hope you have a fabulous day, and don't give the cheeky Rockliffe bastards a penny of your money

It is ridiculous, considering they have seen the dress and still consider it bridal.
It is beautiful but in no way particularly bridal.
Go somewhere you can celebrate and not feel you have to hide - you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Do not let them dictate your special day.

That's appalling. Do you mind if I tell everyone I know how shitty Rockcliffe Hall are? (I live near there so it might actually turn away some business that they would have received!). One of my friends had cause for complaint when she went there for a spa day a couple of years ago - can't remember the details but they treated her and her friends like crap, basically.

Please do wear your dress at whichever hotel you choose in the end (we stayed in Lumley Castle the night after our wedding...). If you stick with Rockcliffe Hall though, I would check the terms and conditions to make sure they can't actually, under the contract, turn you away at the door if you turn up in a dress they have vetoed (bizarre, shocking and incredible though that would be, it would be upsetting for you on your wedding day and you don't want to have to deal with that hassle).

And of course you should practice your sad face for the daily mail article

Hope you have a fantastic wedding!

Sounds like this one bride policy thing is becoming more common. As someone said earlier, shows something about society. There are clearly people out there who don't like sharing the limelight and hotels are encouraging that.
It's tricky, because they are within their rights to have that policy. It is very unkind in the OPs case too. The only thing I can think of that hotels should do, is ensure they send out all of their terms and conditions when they confirm a booking. I bet they do something like refer people to the terms on the website and there in tiny letters is this policy. But no one really reads those, but I guess they have then covered themselves.
If someone just turned up in white, I feel fairly sure they wouldn't do anything. It is different though once you've been told.
So I don't agree with the policy, but I think the OP has been particularly unlucky with what happened to her. Move onto somewhere you are welcome and enjoy your day, rather than give your money to a place that doesn't want you, just to make a point of principle. Your enjoyment is most important.

You could buy another dress and change into it after the service before going to the restaurant. It might be fun to choose another nice dress.
But only if you like the idea.
I think I might be nervous in case anyone said anything and I'd rather feel confident throughout. But I'm sure no=one would say anything really, especially as not a big weddingy dress
Hope you have a lovely day and evening x

PS gorgeous dress by the way!