to cry over hotel bridal policy?

[PrebendsBridge]

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

[ChocolateWombat]

Hello. If you are really keen to go to that hotel, cancel the booking and then re book the table under either your name or that of one of your guests. Then just wear the dress.
They won't mention it to you, whatever their policy, because how could you be expected to know. Don't do this though if you will spend the meal feeling anxious you are about to be thrown out,nor angry with the hotel, because either will spoil your day.
If you aren't too bothered about that hotel, go elsewhere. Then you won't have any of these issues to think about and will be totally free to enjoy your wedding meal. I'd do the latter, to be honest.
Have a lovely time.

[ormirian]

And another thing. Once you have had your wedding and gone elsewhere for your wedding night and celebration meal, book a meal at the same hotel one saturday evening in wedding season and wear your gorgeous dress. Just to see if they descend on you with a dustsheet to cover your whiteness from the eyes of the other bridal party .... or whether they simply don't notice or care.

[Armadale]

I think your dress looks really beautiful.

It is quite an odd policy, to be honest. Normally a bride would pay for exclusive use of a venue as a means of ensuring she would get the day she wants...this place seems to be saying, well we are happy to take revenue from others as well, but please don't make this too obvious by turning up in a wedding dress.

I have never known of a venue still open to members of the public except brides

I think there are probably other lovely places you can go to in your lovely dress

[Whatisaweekend]

This is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard - it's not like you are in a big meringue n' veil combo. In the summer, I quite often wear white/cream clothes - would they turn me away from dinner??

I would tell them where to shove it but not before getting everyone who can to tweet about it and put a bit of tarnish on their precious reputation.

[difficultpickle]

Howabout Seaham Hall

[AnAdventureInCakeAndWine]

Nerfmother, have you looked at the dress? If the other bride saw the OP I doubt she would assume that two weddings were going on, because it's a perfectly normal (though nice) day dress that happens to be cream. For that dress to be "too bridal", what they really mean is that they have a "no dresses in any shade of white, cream, champagne, oyster or ecru to be worn anywhere on the hotel grounds at any time over a weekend" policy.

I wonder if they extend that to cover "no red dresses" in case the bride booked on that day is from an cultural background where red rather than white is the traditional wedding colour?

[sighbynight]

Seaham Hall is also lovely.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

They won't want to risk another bride getting arsey though if they have a one wedding only policy, I was at a hotel wedding reception once and the bride and a couple of us went for a wander round in the evening and came across another wedding party in an open bar area, their bride who was clearly drunk got very arsey with our bride for daring to be in HER hotel, our bride shrugged her shoulders and told her to fuck off. It wasn't very nice. However they were both in huge meringues, flowers in hair, unmistakably brides, unlike how you will be dressed.

Could you cancel and get your friend to re-book in their name instead with no mention of the wedding.

[Chattymummyhere]

Sounds like a stupid rule at our hotel I passed a bride on the way back from her wedding while I was leaving to go to mine... I'm on her wedding video! We admired each other's dresses. I'm sure there was more than 2 of us since there was 4 bridal suites.

[ViviPru]

How about a bit of Michelin Star?

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

Personally I think you should have about 30 people show up in various white dresses on the day.

Do they routinely refuse to seat/serve anyone in a white dress then? Just in case it's "bridal" ???

[ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow]

That's ridiculous!!!! I feel a mass tweet from
Mumsnet coming on!!!

[GlaikitFizzog]

Alice I was just about to suggest that! I could probably squeeze into my wedding dress. And I wouldn't be a bride, just a nutter in a frock!

[justmyview]

I think your dress is brilliant. I'd look for another hotel. If you turn up in the cream dress intending to bluff it, they might well turn you away, especially since they've given you prior warning. That would add insult to injury................ and never mention weddings - just say it's a family party

[ChocolateWombat]

I bet this kind of thing happens a lot. People turn up for a meal in their wedding dress. There is never going to be an attempt to throw them out at that point. They would be in the public restaurant and the other bride in the reception room, so unlikely toe contact.
It is just unfortunate your boyfriend mentioned it, when the hotel had this policy. Most hotels wouldn't have this policy and would simply say Congratulations and maybe give you a free bottle of sparkly. He was unlucky.
I guess the person he spoke to was doing his job. The hotel doesn't knowingly allow other brides, and once the person in the hotel knew, they had to enforce the policy. Some brides do want to have all the attention and think another bride will steal their thunder. It is ridiculous, but I guess an expensive hotel panders to those feelings, to get the business from an expensive wedding.
Personally I couldn't be there now without feeli g angry or upset. You could choose to just turn up anyway in the dress or as I said before, re book in another name and just turn up. However you will only be doing this to make a point to the hotel. It is your weddi g day and you want to spend it enjoying yourself, not feeling bitter. Go elsewhere.

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flashmob?

We could all sing something especially wedding-y. I can't think what, though.

[blahblahblah2014]

Go somewhere where you are free to celebrate your day, where the waiting staff make a fuss of you, and everyone is happy for you!

Don't let the bastards get you down!

Lovely dress by the way, classy!

[ShatnersBassoon]

They're being idiots. I hope you take great pleasure in telling them to get stuffed.

[hillsy27]

We stayed in a hotel opposite our wedding venue (it was a school ) after our evening do I was walking through the car park and bumped into another bride who had her wedding at the hotel . it was lovely having a chat about each others day as we negotiated the car park barefoot !
I was also bridesmaid for a friend who had her wedding at a large hotel . there were 2 other weddings in the same hotel at the same time. it wasn't a problem. everyone was happy - although the hotel was very organised and the wedding parties actually met.
If i was you i would change to a different hotel who would make me feel special on my day ! Yanbu.

[GlaikitFizzog]

I'd ask them what was "bridal" in their opinion?? Because they don't have a clue!!

If the offer exclusivity to brides then the whole hotel should be shut to the public.

[TryDrawing]

White wedding, of course Caja :)

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

Rockcliffe... if thats the golf club place its not that nice really. food is pretentious and not that special. staff are very young and inexperienced, there are nicer places tbh.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I am shocked that you aren't tempted by BrunoBrookes' vagina-trimmed wedding dress, Prebend!

[ViviPru]

Anyone fancy a wedding-dress-clad flashmob

SO up for this....

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Me too, Vivi - not that I fit I to my dress any more.