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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cry over hotel bridal policy?

409 replies

PrebendsBridge · 06/02/2014 16:43

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

OP posts:
TryDrawing · 06/02/2014 16:50

Take a coloured pashmina: voila - not bridal ;)

Splatt34 · 06/02/2014 16:50

Can you take your money elsewhere and have a fancy dinner somewhere else then go to the hotel to 'sleep'?

thereisnoeleventeen · 06/02/2014 16:51

Lovely dress. Is the hotel so lovely? Could you do a plea on MN to find you and even nicer hotel?

They sound ridiculous, tbh, I wounder what else they might be ridiculous about on the day?

expatinscotland · 06/02/2014 16:51

I would not patronise this hotel with my money.

PickleSarnie · 06/02/2014 16:51

But it's not a "bridal party" woowoo, it's four people having dinner (two of which just happened to get married)

Original poster
PrebendsBridge · 06/02/2014 16:51

This was the hotel reply to my email checking the policy (I though at first DP had got it wrong and I just couldn't rock up in a full meringue type gown):

Good Afternoon,

Further to your conversation with my colleague earlier today, we have shown your wedding dress to the duty manager who feels it is too bridal for you to arrive and dine at the hotel wearing.

If you wish us to consult on any alternative dresses please do not hesitate in sending us the link to the webpage.

OP posts:
eurochick · 06/02/2014 16:51

Sorry - just seen your second post. How on earth can they think it is too bridal? And also seen that your partner has mentioned it's a wedding do. Personally, I'd go elsewhere. The hotel sounds like a bit of a nightmare.

TryDrawing · 06/02/2014 16:52

By the way, that is a beautiful dress.

cory · 06/02/2014 16:52

Not from me, they don't, Morris.

I remember my wedding day very well. If I had rolled up at the hotel and bumped into another bride in the foyer, I can imagine smiling and waving excitedly, feeling my day had been enhanced, not stamping my feet in frustration. But then I beamed at other people's babies in the maternity ward, so maybe I'm just not cut out for this -zilla stuff.

JunoMacGuff · 06/02/2014 16:52

Woowoo don't be ridiculous. Surely you aren't advocating someone actually being told what to wear to a hotel which isn't exclusively booked?

If someone wants to be the only bride on the day then they need to book a venue exclusively. They haven't.

expatinscotland · 06/02/2014 16:53

Please fuck this hotel off.

Quoteunquote · 06/02/2014 16:53

Get a refund, find somewhere worthy of your memories.

Original poster
PrebendsBridge · 06/02/2014 16:53

Do you think maybe I could have some fun with them sending them alternative dress link suggestions??!Grin

OP posts:
BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 06/02/2014 16:53

Ugh, bet the duty manager didn't even bother to look at it.

JunoMacGuff · 06/02/2014 16:53

Prebends Seriously, cancel.

If they genuinely think they can dictate what you are wearing to that extent, then cancel.

Abbierhodes · 06/02/2014 16:54

What a ridiculous rule! Cancel and go somewhere else. If they won't refund you, threaten them with your daily mail sadface!

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 06/02/2014 16:54

Wow, that is an absolutely beautiful dress!

So classic and understated.

Yes - change the hotel!!

Am sure MNers can find you a much better one!

JunoMacGuff · 06/02/2014 16:54

A guest could wear that dress though?! It isn't bridal!

SarahBumBarer · 06/02/2014 16:54

Not really - some venues do several weddings, some do only one wedding at a time and some do eclusive use for the bridal party only. If that is what you have booked then that is what you are entitled to. I can totally understand not wanting to compete with other brides for the best photo spots etc at a venue if that is what you want for your big day. I think YABU to feel resentment at the other bride. OTOH the hotel is being ridiculous. That dress is gorgeous, by no means obvious as a wedding dress (assuming you do not rock up clutching a huge bouquet) and they are being ridiculous. I doubt the other bride will be in the hotel restaurant that night anyway. I would find another hotel and not mention the wedding when you book this time.

MrsHappyBee · 06/02/2014 16:54

YANBU to feel upset. Are there any other hotels you could make a booking with? I wouldn't want to spend my hard earned cash at a place with such a horrible attitude. Why should you feel as if you have to skulk about on your big day?

YouCanTakeAHorseToWater · 06/02/2014 16:54

That is a lovely dress but I don't think it is particularly bridal, its just cream! How about getting a brightly coloured pashmina to wear over the top when you are checking into the hotel and going down for dinner? You can remove it once you are seated and it will stop it looking as bridal...

RabbitsarenotHares · 06/02/2014 16:55

If you want to stick with that hotel, could you not wear a jacket over the top? I can't see what they're objecting to atm, but with a jacket they'd have even fewer grounds for complaint.

Absolutely gorgeous, btw, and if it wa cheaper I'd consider buyinf for a wedding I'm going to as a guest, where the dress code is black and white. (Wonders what they'd do if that reception was there...ban me too?)

PsychicPaper · 06/02/2014 16:55

Thats the spirit OP :)

It has got me worried though, I am staying at a 5 star seaside hotel on my wedding night, and will be arriving in a full wedding dress, but we havent mentioned to them it is my wedding night Hmm

HavantGuard · 06/02/2014 16:55

You can't put the cat back into the bag. It's a lovely dress and they wouldn't have had any issue with a hotel guest wearing it until your DH mentioned the wedding. Now you've triggered their 'one bride only' policy they won't change their minds. It is worth too much to them to protect the exclusivity of a wedding booking.

JunoMacGuff · 06/02/2014 16:56

Sarah
Not really - some venues do several weddings, some do only one wedding at a time and some do eclusive use for the bridal party only. If that is what you have booked then that is what you are entitled to. I can totally understand not wanting to compete with other brides for the best photo spots etc at a venue if that is what you want for your big day.

But that isn't the case here.

  1. the other bride doesn't have exclusive use
  2. They won't be competing for photo spots (this isn't a thing, BTW Hmm) as the OP isn't doing that