to cry over hotel bridal policy?

[PrebendsBridge]

Getting married in 4 weeks v cheaply. Registry office, two guests as witnesses, no flowers, haïr dressers, cars or any of that stuff. £200 cream L K Bennett dress.

The only 'treat element' of the day was booking a night at a 5 star hotel, with dinner for our two guests.

That's all we can afford, and I didn't want to have to wait years saving to get married.

Only problem now is that I can't wear my dress to the hotel. They have a bridal policy of only one bride (their wedding package) at the hotel. So despite my not having anything ostensibly bridal, as my sheath dress is cream I can't wear it incase I offend a bride who can afford a massive wedding package.

AIBU to think this sucks??

At the end of the day if the hotel has as 1 bride rule then they should not be taking bookings for the restaurant - it should be exclusive use.

They have 3 restaurants so it is quite possible that one is being used for a wedding and the other 2 are for public use. But anyway, THERE IS NO OTHER BRIDE so they are just being arses. So sad because the food is fantastic there, DH took me to the Orangerie for my 40th and we had the tasting menu. Bliss.

Have a wonderful day in a wonderful dress

Glad you've got something better sorted.

I had a look at the site, and their menu descriptions are really pretentious.

Please to see that you have rebooked as that is what I was going to suggest. Your dress is lovely and v elegant.

Have a wonderful day.

It's a cream dress. Not ostensibly bridal.
Although beautiful, anyone could rock up to dinner wearing it & if they threw them out they could probably take them to court over it.
Tell them you are wearing your going away outfit. If they don't like it, take your business elsewhere, where they will value your custom.
Fwiw I wouldn't have noticed what anyone was wearing in the restaurant of the place where I got married, let alone care!

Do you really want to see another bride enjoying her fabulous wedding when you can only afford a budget one? You need to go somewhere else and thank the hotel for the warning.

But there isn't actually another bride, LaGuardia. And the chances that the hotel is going to sell their full wedding package for a Friday night in March with less than a month to go are slim, I'd have thought.

What bollocks la guardia are you saying that anyone who decides not to waste spend thousands on one day is jealous of those who do?

Weird.

LaGardia - what an absolutely ridiculous post

LaGuardia what a rude and ridiculous post.

LaGuardia your post assumes that everyone would really secretly want a huge expensive wedding and would envy the (currently non-existent) bride having the more expensive option. If the OP is happy with her choices in not throwing an extravagant party, there is no reason she should feel negative seeing someone else making a different choice nearby. the whole ridiculous thing about this situation is that there ISN'T any such other bride, anyway. But the OP has booked elsewhere in any case, and jolly good thing too. Rockcliffe Hall doesn't deserve their custom. Such terrible customer service, making existing customers feel unwelcome and out-of-place just in case a richer customer comes along later, it's disgusting.

I sure as hell never coveted a big, luxurious naff and pointless wedding. The OP's arrangements sound much nicer.

In 1943 my Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle married in a ceremony with just my Grandfather and Grandmother (her sister) as witnesses. The photos of their day make my cry. They all look so proud and happy. The bride and her sister wore navy-blue dresses that would be practical afterwards and carried little bunches of lily-of-the-valley. The groom wore his naval uniform. There wasn't a wedding breakfast because he was off for six months in a submarine the next day (he didn't tell his wife he was a submariner until after the war and he left letters on land for his friends to send her because he knew how dangerous it was and how scared she would be).

That marriage lasted nearly fifty happy years, they raised two beautiful children together, one of whom tragically predeceased them. I can remember them both from early childhood. They were a model of kindness and affection.

That was the definition of a fabulous day LaGuardia.

Hope your day is just as fabulous PrebendsBottom.

LaGaurdia I couldn't think of anything worse than an ostentatious ott wedding, fuck that - the bride at the posh hotel wiht the lavish wedding is going to be stressed to fuck on the day with all those arrangements and money spent, she will be like bridezilla, so maybe its understandable that the hotel don't want her to see the OP, swish in, stress free - having made a far more sensible choice, celebrating wiht the people she truly wants to be with , rather than members of the family who they haven't seen for years, just to make the numbers look good!

OP YADNBU and i am so glad you managed to find a new venue and stick your fingers up to the old place.

Also, the other bride couldnt have been THAT rich - otherwise she would have rented the whole venue to herself - if thats what she wanted. The irony being is this - i bet the other bride couldn#t have given a monkeys fig if someone else pitched up in a wedding type dress. Its not like the OP was going to crash their disco and steal the first dance FFS.

Why did you even send them a picture or enquiry about this policy. Sometimes its better to just keep quiet about things.

Why shoot yourself in the foot, you brought it on yourself.

It's a smart, elegant sheath dress not a mereingue! They're being idiots.
I'd either go elsewhere or wear a coloured pashmina/wrap instead of the jacket.

Mmolly, she said upthread that her fiance mentioned when booking the room that they would be newlyweds -- then the hotel brought up the policy and demanded veto power over the dress.

I'm glad you've got somewhere else booked. I can kind of understand their policy of not having two brides in the same place, BUT - shouldn't that mean you wouldn't be able to book, regardless of what colour dress you're wearing? Changing your dress to (for example) a blue one wouldn't mean you weren't still celelbrating your wedding, it's just making it easier for the 'official' bride not to notice. It's actually pretty conniving of them. If they're not happy to have a second bride there, then they should be not happy whatever she happens to be wearing, not just trying to make sure she's hidden.

Penelope, that is such a lovely story ; it's really touched me.

Next time I have a baby, I'm going to insist that no one else has one in the same maternity unit on the same day.

If anyone turns up looking a bit too maternal, like in a nightie, they can get to fuck

Te he Rooners, that is funny!!

Penelope - that's a lovely story and exactly the type of wedding I'm trying to recreate.

I'd far rather show the grandchildren snaps of me, sitting in our messy, in-need-of-a-good-clean estate car, munching on service station sandwiches driving up for our ceremony - than all the lovely horse and carriage/wedding car/bouquet professional shots.

That's not to say we're not treating ourselves to a lovely day - gorgeous dress (approved my MNers ), champagne cocktails, dinner and the biggest treat of all: a lie-in after a night at a fancy hotel. First night away from DS (six months). That will be a bit of luxury itself

So no, not really jealous of anyone who can afford a massive ceremony, though definitely not knocking it off anyone who chooses it. Just felt a bit disappointed that the hotel didn't really want us staying there after our wedding if we weren't paying megabucks for a wedding package. They made me feel like I was doing something wrong wanting to roll up at their hotel, all happy after getting married and celebrate by drinking in their bar, having a nice dinner, and relaxing in the spa/hotel. I definitely wasn't going to change and slink in as though I had something to be ashamed of.

Anyway. Luckily we have found somewhere else, who don't have a problem with me arriving in my dress. So it's all sorted now. Just have to worry about getting ready in the morning, with a 6 month old DS to sort out and drop at my auntie's, a four hour drive, and then a really quick change before a 3pm wedding. Going to be a busy day!!!

You bloody enjoy it then, and be sure to come back and tell us all about it!