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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think MNers can be better than this

654 replies

IceBeing · 05/02/2014 17:52

OPs may be ignorant, they maybe obtuse, they may be in the wrong and they may be trolls...

but how can dozens upon dozens of swearing riddled instructions to carry out intimate acts be considered a reasonable response?

For some people MN is the first forum they frequent. It is perfectly possible to post something that is innocently ignorant yet massively outrageous to MNers. Then suddenly you are being called all the names under the sun and told to fuck yourself preferably until dead? really?

Believe me it can be a massive shock that people say things on the internet they would never say in real life. It is possible to feel very very frightened and threatened by such an onslaught.

AIBU to think if the last 5 posters have covered the 'fuck off to the far side of fuck' angle then maybe you don't need to stick the boot in too?

The best case scenario is that the person on the other end is indeed a troll....in which case why are you giving them what they want?

OP posts:
NewtRipley · 05/02/2014 20:42

I also think it's possible to not swear, or be rude whilst making a point

Goldenbear · 05/02/2014 20:45

Where does the OP say she 'despises' anyone Chipping? You have come to the conclusion from your own observations of this OP on other threads. They have started a discussion that you seemingly have no interest in - that's your prerogative but that does not mean it is not worthy of discussion- just don't discuss it then?

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 20:58

That's the point though isn't it newt? That you can get your point across without being well? Cuntish. Two posters uo
Pthread have already said they were accused of trolling. Maybe if the report button was hit as often as the reply one was then MN would have enough reports to make it go 'Poof' quicker?

Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 20:59

whoa...

Okay so

  1. It isn't only me that has experienced personal abuse of the avalanche variety in response to a slightly badly phrased but genuine OP.
  1. If a post is vile or ignorant then you may perfectly validly say "I think you post is vile and ignorant"
  1. I have no problem with swearing you may perfectly validly say "I think your post is fucking vile and cunting ignorant"
  1. I know people can't help feeding the trolls....but they can do it inside the guidelines (see above)
  1. The non-troll hunting rule isn't their to protect the trolls - it is there to protect the innocent but cack handed first time visitor to MN that doesn't realise that there are untouchable topics.
  1. I know perfectly well their were lots of reasonable posts on the recent thread that didn't break the guidelines and yet still supported those who would find the OP offensive - that's how I know the rest of the contents of the thread were completely unnecessary, childish and frankly disgusting bullying behaviour, because so many people did manage to deal with it appropriately.
OP posts:
ouryve · 05/02/2014 21:00

Icebeing if you had time to count the number of posters in that thread, then I do hope that you took the time to count separately those who took umbrage and told the OP where to get off and those who gave a short and reasoned reply just to explain to anyone else reading and in a state of ignorance exactly why the OP was ignorant and offensive.

FYI, I didn't read all the posts and pile in. I read the first post, then replied, regardless of what other replies would be.

Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 21:00

ohhh...nooooo there/their

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 21:01

I am not sure you can get a gold star for not bothering to RTFT...can you?

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 21:07

Ahhh I see MNHQ have visited.

Maybe they can comment on what they intend to do about the personal attacks on that (or even this) thread? Or is a case of once the thread is deleted nothing else is done?

Because the more trolls there are around the more important enforcing of the no-troll hunting rule becomes.

For that matter do MNHQ intend to have a word with the people on THIS thread who have supported troll hunting and espoused the view that personal attacks are fine as long as they are reasonably sure its a troll....

Deleting a thread means no more new people can read it. It doesn't go back in time and make the attacks not have happened....so I really don't see it as a done deal once the thread has gone.

OP posts:
ouryve · 05/02/2014 21:10

Why would I want to read the whole thread first, if it was the first post in the thread that I wanted to reply to? I have a child who wears the nappies mentioned, so my opinion was completely valid as it stands, without being influenced by the opinion or attitude of others.

I will confess that I had to make a conscious effort not to tell the OP to fuck off, because the temptation was strong, but I'll police my own posts on mumsnet, tyvm, without you, or any other poster, telling me that I'm not allowed to post if so many other people have posted or what I should do, prior to posting.

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 21:12

Ice I don't know for certain but MNHQ have often commented that they can't tell you what was done but things were done 'behind the scenes'. I assume perhaps a warning e-mail or something just telling said poster to behave are sent or the like?

whitepuddingsupper · 05/02/2014 21:14

For that matter do MNHQ intend to have a word with the people on THIS thread who have supported troll hunting

You mean like your post of 18.32 where you ask another poster if they are "a little hairy" themselves? Is troll hunting ok if it's you doing it?

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2014 21:14

I'm loving the irony of the OP Grin

do you get that troll hunting is NOT allowed?

And then a few posts later....

trampled are you still not getting it? Are you a little hairy yourself?

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2014 21:15

X post whitepudding!

I thought I was the only one who saw the irony Grin

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 05/02/2014 21:19

I read the op and if I can be bothered the last few posts. I often just reply cold. Therefore I may not know 100 before me also thought the op a twat. Serendipity is a marvellous thing...

If I agree with 100 others I will say so and why and reiterate the feeling. I've found you can ignore 99 but often just 1 resonates.

I don't like a pack mentality. I've been kicked on threads for saying lay off. I take each as I find.

I'm a grown woman with experiences as valid as anyone else's and I will put my penneth in if I see fit. I don't really like being told by anyone how to write, what to write. I find many people want you to consider everyone else's position to the enth degree but fail completely to see that the person who says something they disagree with also has a story and a place of worth. Their dislike of the comment or sympathy for a preferred view can be blinding them to this obvious fact.

This place is just fine. Move on.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/02/2014 21:35

I didn't see the thread because I spent the afternoon at a continence clinic with one of my children.

From reading this thread I've got the basic jist of it.I'm glad I did not see it.

I'm also glad that about 50 posters piled in and strongly pointed out that its unacceptable behaviour and I don't much care how exactly they did it.

I will be even more glad if a lot of those posters do not have a child with disabilities as it means that offensive attitudes towards disabled people are unacceptable even in mainstream areas.

Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 21:57

worra it was deliberate irony if that helps.....

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 21:58

sock would have had no problem with people piling in to say that the post was ignorant and why. Telling the OP to fuck of and die isn't exaclty the same calibre.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 05/02/2014 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2014 22:00

Well I'll have to take your word for that.

But if you're concerned about people breaking the talk guidelines, it might be best to stay within them yourself?

Just in case the irony isn't obvious?

Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 22:07

Dear gods above....what is it with people on the internet.

Me: "I really hate when people do X"

Them: "I don't do X and I really resent you telling me that I can't do what I am doing"

Me: "IF YOU AREN'T DOING X THEN I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU"

All those people not troll hunting or hurling personal attacks do please stop telling me you didn't do anything wrong...I KNOW.

All those saying its fine to attack anyone under reasonable suspicion of being a troll please read the fecking guidelines.

All those who don't even skim the thread before piling in do please have a brown turd coloured badge for yourselves. You may do what the feck you like but IMNSHO not RTFT makes you look ridiculous - especially when an OP has been back on and apologised or your view point got debunked 5 pages ago and even when you are the 234th person to say exactly the same boring thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 22:07

worra message understood....will crank down the estimate of readers intelligence.....

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 05/02/2014 22:12

zzzzz I am very happy to hear that people stepped in - you hear so often of people walking on by.

The comparison to this thread would be if instead of coming up to your quietly but firmly the passers by had started yelling "oi you sick paedo, why don't you fuck off to the far side of fuck" and maybe thrown a few bottles at his head for good measure.

Support people by saying the OP is ignorant - yes of course, lots of people did that and it was great to see.

Support people by character assassinating the OP, breaking the forum rules in the process? Not so great.

OP posts:
ouryve · 05/02/2014 22:16

I think you're far too invested in this, IceBeing. Perhaps you should start your own forum with your own rules, with inbuilt functions that enable you to count the number of FOAD posts in a thread without having to trawl through it with a clicker. If the software was really cleverly written, you could get it to auto-request spreadsheets for you.

And my son wears size 8-15 year drynites for perfectly valid reasons. Nothing to disprove there. Nothing to make me look ridiculous. No need to read through 150 other posts to make sure I wasn't wrong.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/02/2014 22:18

You said we were jumping on the bandwagon and ganging up

Some of us said we weren't,

That's all

RufusTheReindeer · 05/02/2014 22:21

I agree ouryve

I always read the OP, check the last few posts to make sure I have the right end of the stick and post

But only if it's a straight YABU or YANBU, and they were being very unreasonable