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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think MNers can be better than this

654 replies

IceBeing · 05/02/2014 17:52

OPs may be ignorant, they maybe obtuse, they may be in the wrong and they may be trolls...

but how can dozens upon dozens of swearing riddled instructions to carry out intimate acts be considered a reasonable response?

For some people MN is the first forum they frequent. It is perfectly possible to post something that is innocently ignorant yet massively outrageous to MNers. Then suddenly you are being called all the names under the sun and told to fuck yourself preferably until dead? really?

Believe me it can be a massive shock that people say things on the internet they would never say in real life. It is possible to feel very very frightened and threatened by such an onslaught.

AIBU to think if the last 5 posters have covered the 'fuck off to the far side of fuck' angle then maybe you don't need to stick the boot in too?

The best case scenario is that the person on the other end is indeed a troll....in which case why are you giving them what they want?

OP posts:
Hullygully · 05/02/2014 19:44

And I don't give a flying fuck about any of it.

Just want clarity.

magimedi · 05/02/2014 19:45

instead thwart them by ignoring and reporting and we'll investigate. And if your collective spider senses are correct as per today, we will delete and Deal With Them.

Well, with great respect, I wish you did this a lot more timeously.

Then there would be no need for threads like this.

TrampledUnderfoot · 05/02/2014 19:45

The OP of that thread was a troll. I have no sympathy for trolls.

She was talking about that thread.

DavidHarewoodsFloozy · 05/02/2014 19:46

Aww ffs goldenbear Grin, guess that was a big fat humour fail on my part.

I don,t know anyone who uses 'are you projecting' in RL either, thank God. But my next but one psychologist neighbours 3 yo dd sometimes says to me, ala head tilt " how do you feel about that" Grin.

Anyhoo, my thoughts are this, it,s an open forum with the right of reply. Report if you think posters are out of order.

TrampledUnderfoot · 05/02/2014 19:47

I'm more concerned about the parents of children with SNs feelings than a thick troll.

Hullygully · 05/02/2014 19:48

That is an assumption, not a demonstrable fact, trampled

DioneTheDiabolist · 05/02/2014 19:48

No Trampled, the OP is concerned that such displays of hostility put off genuine new posters. The response from some is "it was a troll, they deserve it".

Trolls deserve one thing and that's to be ignored. Anything other than ignoring invites further trolls because they get off on the replies, even if they are all of the "fuck off" variety. The reason the Troll Hunting policy exists in the form that it does, is because it is the best way for a free, unmoderated site to operate.

If we post 100s of replies to each troll, we might as well send invitations to every troll in Trollsville.

Hullygully · 05/02/2014 19:48

Me too, trampled, but that isn't the point

NorthernLurker · 05/02/2014 19:50

Thing is - if a post is vile then 50 people saying so may protect the vulnerable person who sees it. 50 people reporting and NOT commenting only protects the vulnerable person when HQ get round to deleting it. They were faster than I've ever seen a couple of weeks ago with some bastard trolling about suicide and there was still time for somebody whose relative had committed suicide to see the post and be upset.

Hullygully · 05/02/2014 19:52

A good point northern

although one could still use the calm and collected response someone suggested ^^

Viviennemary · 05/02/2014 19:53

I saw the thread and nearly wrote an insult but thought that's what the OP would want. Attention. I didn't report it because I thought others would. But lots of insults to a troll is just food for them. IMHO.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 05/02/2014 19:57

One should never feed trolls.

But neither should one extrapolate from the reactions in an obvious troll thread to form a stereotype of MNetters and promulgate it in further threads.

Funnyfoot · 05/02/2014 19:58

So instead would monotonous posting be a better way to tackle a troll?

As in those who believe the OP to be a troll in stead of the various (and sometimes funny) abuse, just post various descriptions of a troll.

100 posts of bridge dweller is not very interesting for a troll?

Just a thought Smile

mygorgeousmilo · 05/02/2014 20:05

YANBU and _ think that in the same way that some people you meet say things like "whaaaat?? I'm just saying it how it is.." as an excuse to be nasty, and this is the hardcore attitude some people take on when on here. And that hardcore attitude is not reserved for trolls, I am afraid to say, that's just a bullshit excuse sometimes. I have many times seen an OP who is perhaps tearing their hair out over some problem or another and they've gotten themselves in a bit of a mess. They then get ripped to pieces by people who's lives happen to be 'together' at that stage and feel they have the right to call someone all kinds of names because they haven't done what they would do. TBH I have all kinds of big issues that sometimes I would love to start a thread about and perhaps get some honest but tactful opinions. I am genuinely scared of being attacked for putting something in such a way that I will get screeched at by harpies with keyboards.....probably will for this! I would like to add though that I have come across some really very kind and caring people who take time out of their busy lives to share information and guidance to help others. I hope I fall into this group and wouldn't dream of kicking someone while they're down. So there! If there's a thread about the kindness of MNers, then I would also happily contribute I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush

dreamofwhitehorses · 05/02/2014 20:08

Other forums I've used it has been very bad form to feed trolls at all. I don't really agree that troll hunting protects vulnerable users as you're obviously making it more likely that they see it by bumping the thread. MN is a very fast moving forum, would a better aproach be to ignore troll thread while acitvely posting new threads to push it down off active convos and into oblivion, where hopefully it can be zapped by MN sooner rather than later.

everlong · 05/02/2014 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelanieRavenswood · 05/02/2014 20:13

If 100 people had reported instead of commenting, the troll would now be looking for somewhere else to go. As it is, they will be back with something else.

I agree with the OP that the ganging up on posters and seeing who can post the most hilarious invitation for the troll to go fuck themselves isn't on really. It achieves very little beyond the first few posts. There were actually a handful of intelligent and to the point responses on that thread that would have helped the hard of thinking to come to the right conclusion.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 05/02/2014 20:13

I really dislike all the 'pack mentality' nonsense

This site is huge there are bound to be lots of people agreeing with one point of view, does that mean if someone gets in first with something you want to say then you shouldn't post? So all posts should have roughly two responses ... Yes YABU op and no YANBU op for example, anyone else chipping in is jumping on the bandwagon right?

For me personally as I'm sure is true of everyone, I will post as I want to. I will not suddenly change my mind and my opinion because fifty other people on a thread have said the same/differently

There is no pack mentality because there is no pack, just a website full of different people with their own opinions that happen to sometimes agree with each other

ChippingInWadesIn · 05/02/2014 20:15

Goldenbear - why on earth would it be a dull forum if people who despise the posters on MN posted elsewhere? Frankly I could happily live without them.

TrampledUnderfoot · 05/02/2014 20:16

I think people giving examples of why their children needed to wear nappies at 15 fed the troll far more than the fuck offs.

Parents of children with SN are fed up of educating the idiots who don't think before they post.

NorthernLurker · 05/02/2014 20:21

Indeed Hully and personally I don't tend to post the 'fuck off and fucking die you fucker' because I'm far too naice. I can see why people do though.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/02/2014 20:36

Agree with iamnotaprincess

I was not rude, didn't swear and didn't give any personal information. I thought I was able to give my opinion and did so

Usually I check the thread to make sure I'm not about to put my foot in it, this time I didn't read it just offered my opinion, and fwiw I didn't have a clue it was a troll Blush

I resent being told that I jumped on a bandwagon, broke talk guidelines or any of that, cos I didn't

NewtRipley · 05/02/2014 20:39

There is behaviour on here that I find really nasty. But I just make my point about it on the thread, logoff, or just make a mental note to not engage with that poster again. I reserve the right to think some posters are wankers and I'm sure some people think I am one too.

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 20:40

^what Melanie said.

NewtRipley · 05/02/2014 20:40

Whisky

Excellent point

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