To be annoyed by '2 weeks premature'

[FlockOfTwats]

Fuck it. I know i'm being unreasonable. I know i'm being pedantic to the level of being a complete arsehole.

But it REALLY annoys me when people describe their baby as 2 weeks PREMATURE when they are born at 38 weeks.

37 - 42 weeks is full term.
YOUR BABY WAS NOT FUCKING PREMATURE.

Go ahead. Tell me i'm being unreasonable. I know i deserve it and need slapping down off my soapbox.

DD was born at 36 weeks and had a 2 week stay on neo-natal. I refer to her a premature as the doctors did - & the fact I had to have steroids in labour & she needed assisted breathing for the first 24 hours of her life.

I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant & I'm having regular consultant appointments because of my "high risk" to have another prem baby.

I consider premature to be "born before ready". DD was over 6 pounds & originally on the ward with me. If she hadn't have stopped breathing & rushed to neo-natal I think I'd only consider her "early".

So going to out myself... My youngest was 5 days "late" but 3 weeks early...

Work that one out, they messed up my dates basically I had a due dates that where over 3 weeks apart, the one they settled on when youngest was born they decided where wrong.

I must annoy so many people

Why would that annoy someone,it's not uncommon for things like that to happen

My dd was born at 35+5 so four weeks early iv always said premature too as that's what I was told she was,
I was induced and had other intervention due to pre eclampsia,other than her going a bit juandice and a week long stay in hospital hated it all was well.

By the looks of what iv read hear my understanding is that your dc isn't really prem unless born before 37wks and has some form of difficulty.

Any label you stick on your child/birth doesn't take away the fact that people that have full term babies could still have a traumatic experience that you don't nessacarily know about.

yanbu, I get annoyed by this too! What nonsense really, and disrespectful to those who have actual premature babies.

It also does my head in when people focus more on the fact their child was premature, than the fact they are now their own person and perhaps is 7 years old - and it still is the main thing discussed! That's just not fair on the child. They're a person, not a "premature baby".

Yanbu, my daughter was born at 38 weeks on the nose. If anyone asks, I say she was 2 weeks early, but that's all she was, 2 weeks earlier than I expected, which was relevant only because she caught me with my pants down (literally, my waters went on the toilet) she roomed in with me, fed normally and was a fully formed healthy baby just as if I had given birth to her at 40 weeks. I think it does great disrespect to parents of premature babies who often spend a long while in scbu before coming home, and sometimes have long term health issues as a result.
of course there are some 38 weeks babies who do have issues with breathing and temperature/blood sugar but for the most part they are short lived problems and don't require the massive interventions that prem babies require.

At 38 weeks saying you hope the baby doesnt come out too early doesnt mean she is uneducated about pg or that she is worrying. Maybe she hasnt got everything ready yet or wants to work untill closer to the time or is enjoying relaxing for a while before the baby comes and is hoping that continues for a few weeks yet!

It can also depend on so many factors, I know someones whos baby was born at 38 weeks and was in hospital longer than my 35 weeker (3 days) and my 32 week ds who was in 10 days, 6 of those were spent with me on the ward

A true pedant would say ' born prematurely' .

Wis I never said full term babies cant be traumatic or ill. My brother was full term. Cord round his neck six times, practically strapped to his placenta never mind attached.

Still doesn't make it a premature baby though. That's the bit that annoys me (and evidently, others).

Little I don't think anyone is doing that. Are we not allowed to discuss our childrens birth like everyone else now?

Moomin I saw the context of the discussion. I know what she meant.

DD was born at 35 weeks.

I didn't really call her premature because she didn't have to go in to the unit of anything.

We got discharged early and ended up back in hospital but still, I class premature these days as those poor wee babies that end up with tubes and in incubators etc.

My DD was born at exactly 37 weeks. I've described her as three weeks early in that she was born three weeks before my due date but I would never say that she was premature because she was full term (just). If she had been born a few hours earlier she would have technically been premature but I would still never have referred to her as premature.

My DD2 was born at 36 weeks and had 4 nights on NICU, a couple in scbu then a couple of nights with me before we were discharged.

I usually say she was 'a little bit premature, but quite poorly' [fence sitting]

Actually she was delivered early for reasons of my health, not hers and the underlying problem with her went undiagnosed until she was 1, so I guess the outcome would have been much the same had she been born at 40 weeks.

She was very very nearly delivered at 29 weeks. That to me seemed properly premature. By the time we got to 36 weeks it just seemed a totally different ball-game.

Interesting thread to read! My personal experience as been:
Dc1 - 36weeks +0 - early
Dc2 - 34weeks +2 -premature
Dc3 -35 weeks +1 - premature
I think perhaps I consider the last two preemies "more" than the first is also because my waters broke before 24weeks so their lungs were likely to be underdeveloped and dc3 was also EMCS so concerns about wet lungs etc.

I have been annoyed by another mum in RL tho who had a 34weeker and was using his adjusted age as a means of gloating when he achieved milestones ie: ooh he's sitting and he's only x weeks" and worrying other mums of termies whose babies weren't yet meeting them - was mildly amusing when one week her lo was "10.5months"
At babygroup and had his 1st birthday the following week!

MIL had all premature babies:

DC1 at 29 weeks
DC2 at 32 weeks
DC3 at 35 weeks

Considering the last 1 was born nearly 25 years ago, they all did very well. The eldest, my DP, was very lucky to not have been affected physically or mentally by being delivered 11 weeks early. The only signs of invasive medical intervention are scars on his sides from tubes to his lungs and he has no belly button. He isn't very tall but not short either - 5'10. Well, not tall to me because I'm also 5'10!

MIL doesn't class the youngest as premature - she says they were early but I think that's because he wasn't as severely ill as the previous 2 were and was a decent weight at birth. YANBU.

I never used the adjusted date though it doesn't sit right with me, I counted her age from the day she was born not the expected,babies reach milestones at different stages so it makes no sense to me at all..

I don't think I came across well in the last post
Two people can have a premature birth at 35wks or 37 grit your teeth and only one of them class their child as prem because theirs was ill or had minor complications while the other was healthy they were still born before the expected time frame of 37-40 weeks making that healthy baby premature.

It's just a word and their are drama lamas who thrive on their healthy prem baby but then again their experience of that premature birth might not have been healthy.
Gah I'm off.

wis a baby born at 37 weeks is not under any circumstances born prematurely, 37 weeks + is term.

Being premature is an actual medical description so 36+6 or any earlier would be but 37 would not be.

My DS1 born EMCS at 5 weeks early had to have feeding tube for a week was in hospital two weeks in all, he was premature.

I think if a baby has to have 'help' when born, that is what I would class as prem. I would certainly point that out in conversation. YANBU

DS was born at 36.5 weeks but was 8lb12

I thought it more likely that the dates were a bit out, I had no idea when I conceived, and he wasn't early at all

Well I can't say I have ever heard anyone say 2 weeks early but...

My ds was a planned c section at 37 weeks yet was described as premature, apparently he had "the look" of a premature baby and obs thought perhaps the dates were wrong. Went to SCIBU, the biggest baby there that's for sure! But other than this thread I have never described him as premature or imagined I knew how it was to have a baby born very early. There really is no comparison.

But you do sound very competitive OP as if you and you alone can lay claim to experience with newborns. You know about your babies, let others have their stories.

Very interesting to read through this thread. DS1 was born at 29+4 and was in NICU/SCBU for 10 weeks, lots of complications and has needed a fair amount of support since. He's quite small for his age (8yo now) so people are often surprised when they learn how old he is, and at that point will normally tell them he was prem and his birthweight (2lbs, 2oz) as he was small for dates as well. I've rarely encountered anything other than support, if someone tells me they have a premmie, Id normally ask 'how many weeks?' and 'were they poorly?' which I suspect are pretty standard questions from any parents who've spent weeks on SCBU.

I don't generally share details unless someone asks (and most people don't) as some aspects are just too painful I didn't see him for 33 hours after he was born, I didn't hold him till he was a week old (but I treasure that memory, and others wait longer) and being on a post-natal ward with other mums and babies was particularly hard (wasn't normal practice but sod's law, the builders were in on the week I was there). By the time DS1 was discharged I'd seen his brain scan, his intestines (via a barium swallow) and watched him be resuscitated twice in front of me not great.

If someone doesn't use the term 'premature' correctly, I'd probably correct them because I am pedantic rather than annoyed, but it wouldn't belittle my experience because they generally have no idea what it's like. And most premmie parents would be very aware that FT babies can be desperately ill too and to say they're not prem isn't belittling them either.