To be annoyed by '2 weeks premature'

[FlockOfTwats]

Fuck it. I know i'm being unreasonable. I know i'm being pedantic to the level of being a complete arsehole.

But it REALLY annoys me when people describe their baby as 2 weeks PREMATURE when they are born at 38 weeks.

37 - 42 weeks is full term.
YOUR BABY WAS NOT FUCKING PREMATURE.

Go ahead. Tell me i'm being unreasonable. I know i deserve it and need slapping down off my soapbox.

DS1 was born at 24 weeks 11 years ago. He was in NICU for 17 weeks and experienced pretty much every difficulty that an extreme premmmie goes through (brain haemorrhage, pneumonia, septicaemia, heart trouble, kidney trouble, suspected meningitis, multiple lumbar punctures, many many blood transfusions etc). Prematurity will always be an inescapable part of our lives. He has various disabilities as a direct result of his extreme prematurity.

DS2 arrived at 38 weeks (and yes I do refer to him as being born 2 weeks early, because he was, but never say premature, because he wasn't.) He got stuck on the way out, was born by emergency CS and my DH wasn't with me (I was all alone apart from obviously the medical team), we were discharged too early and several hours after discharge he was admitted to the children's ward with severe jaundice and weight loss. We were discharged two days later and all was fine.

My HV came round to visit very shortly after DS2 and I were back home. She asked me if I felt traumatised by our experience, and I remember looking at her rather blankly. She pointed out that most parents would find DS2's birth story extremely traumatic - I only didn't because, compared with a 24 weeker and 17 weeks in intensive care, this was a bit of a picnic. But I do know that if I'd had DS2 first, or DS1 hadn't been premature, I'd have found DS2's birth story intensely traumatic. I try to remember this every time someone tells me that their baby was born prematurely at 36 weeks and had a rough ride. My feeling is that every story is different, every parent reacts in their one way, and everyone has the right to make what they need to of their own experience.

OP I quite understand. I get infuriated when people refer to their vagina when they mean their vulva. Two completely different things. Vulva refers to the outside bits and the vagina is the cavity inside.

You wouldn't talk about your lips if you meant the roof of your mouth.

I used to teach pregnancy classes and yes, very few babied ate born on the 'right' fate (about 5% if memory serves me). The way they calculate it, bodies not bring machines etc means that they may as well tbriw a dart at the calendar.

One client told me that her doctors here and in France came up with completely different dates for her first baby.

My first was born at 37 weeks if it comes up in conversation I say "she was a little bit early" not premature, just a bit early. The nature of the word pre mature should be enough for people to get it

Sorry haven't rtfd but "normal" human pregnancy length is considered to be anything from 37-42 weeks, with the average being 40 weeks. Earlier than that or longer than that and there are risks and complications and so this is considered "abnormal" -and some form of intervention or treatment may be needed. Obviously those complications are more common and likely to be more severe the earlier a baby is born. Ds was 10 weeks early. It does irritate me sometimes when people compare him to their child born at say nearly 37 weeks because having a child who needs to stay on the postnatal ward for a few days to monitor their weight is not the same as being in the postnatal ward on your own while your baby is on NICU on a ventilator full of needles and tubes and coming home without your baby. i would not wish our experiences on my worst enemy. Having said that, nearly 4 years on and all ds has left to show for it is a wheeze when he gets a cold, being a bit on the small side and a couple of neat and tiny scars.

The only thing worse than this is when people use a 'corrected' age foreverrrr. "This is so-and-so, he's 37 - 36 years 9 months corrected."

I will preface this with the fact that I know my experience was NOTHING compared to those whose babies are micro-preemies, or those who were born much earlier.
I had the opposite with DD. She was born at 35 weeks and was IUGR due to my pre-eclampsia. She was in NICU for 2 weeks, had a heart murmer (now resolved) and kidney issues. She was followed up by the paediatricians due to being premature. However, I kept being told by randoms (who had had full term babies,) "but she wasn't actually premature, was she?". Um, yeah, she was - late premature, but still not ready to come out!

it really sounds like prematurity top trumps

This. YABU op and pedantic. The meaning of premature is 'occurring or done before the usual or proper time; too early'. The majority of people consider the 'proper time' as 40 weeks. So anything before that, to many people, will be X weeks premature.

Find something important to worry about rather than random peoples (technically correct) terminology.

Coming from someone who had a baby at 30 weeks who had to battle for his little life and sadly didn't win and who saw micro preemies born at 24 and go through a very hard battle then the term used for a 37 week old does seem inappropriate however people just don't think and they are blissfully ignorant but not malicious

I have 2 38weekers. they are both term in my eyes. they were both 7lb7 and came home the same day. they weren't even early imo, i expected to have them between 37-42 weeks. i'd definitely never refer to either of the a premature! i'd eye roll anyone who did!
i have a friend who had her first at 36+6 and says 'because she was a premmie' a lot... she wasn't really a premmie tho, she was home within 48hours after some initial monitoring. i eye roll that a lot too!

I'm on the fence about this. Ds4 was born at 35 weeks, came out screaming but taken to nicu at 30 mins old for cpap. In nicu for 3 days then scbu for 25. Long term problems caused by prematurity (hydrocephalus) and global development delay that he might have had anyway.

Ds5 born 1 day of 37 weeks. Born lifeless and floppy, resuscitated in theatre for 40 minutes before moving to nicu for cpap. Nicu for 5 days then postnatal ward for 3. Now has development delay and being assessed for autism but that might have happened anyway.

In some ways ds5 was harder because I'd tried so hard to keep him in, gushing waters for 9 days and ending up with sepsis myself. All for nothing as he ended up in nicu anyway. Also because he was almost term he was more aware than ds4 and used to scream for me when I wasn't there. Ds4 was much more passive and didn't care who looked after him.

However I'm fully aware that mums of earlier babies go through the kind of hell that I could never imagine. Ds4 was never in danger of dying and ds5 was only in danger of dying for about 2 hours or so. I can't imagine what it must be like to feel like that for weeks or months.

But I will still refer to my babies as ex perms if that's ok, because they were. Same as my granddad will tell people he had cancer when it was all fixed by surgery and he didn't need chemo. With a lot of things like that there is a spectrum and some people have it worse than others. I agree with the not calling healthy 38 seekers premature though and calling a baby 2 days premature is just ridiculous.

I had no idea about this. I have always been told i was 5 weeks premature but it seems unlikely I was born at 31 weeks in 1979 and survived to tell the story

Also, despite having children myself I thought full term was 38 weeks

If they're using it to be the same as someone who's had a genuinely preemie baby with problems then it's shit. I get a bit irritated with it and I've never had a preemie baby (2 12 days before due date, 1 3 days after).

======ZOMBIE =======from 2014 wonder if Op is still around??

My sil does something similar. Mostly out of jealousy/concern/stupidity. her son was full term, is 3 months younger than my brother's kid who was 8-9 weeks pre-mature, but his development from 6 mths onward has been (insignficantly) slower due to various health problems.

She keeps referring to her son as 2 days premature which is really insulting to my brother and his wife. Brother's wife had HELP and nearly died, and nephew wasn't even 3 pounds when he was born and had to spend months in the preemie baby ward.

What happened to the zombie warnings? This is second one I've been caught out on

Oh well no big deal. Not as though an actual zombie is going to come and eat you or something

Zombie warnings are used as it's very unlikely the Op will be back

Yes I know. No big deal though

It annoys me somewhat as my baby was born extremely premature at 21 weeks. She sadly was too small to be saved . I would have done anything to get to even 24 weeks to have a chance.

Friends have said this to me and I know they don't mean anything by it towards me but it still stings a bit.

One of my living DC was born at 37 weeks. I may say he was 3 weeks early but I would never call him premature.

Oh god yanbu.

Your two week early baby is nothing like my 30 weeker or 24 weeker who died at a day old.

Fucking arseholes. It makes me go all stabby.

Just seen it's a zombie thread

I didn't think anyone was making a big deal of it?

Why even mention it? Just let people post of if they have something to add, they shouldn't feel like they can't because it's old

Most people don't like posting on Zombie threads,they usually do it by accident.
No one has said you can't post if you wish too....