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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by '2 weeks premature'

290 replies

FlockOfTwats · 05/02/2014 02:05

Fuck it. I know i'm being unreasonable. I know i'm being pedantic to the level of being a complete arsehole.

But it REALLY annoys me when people describe their baby as 2 weeks PREMATURE when they are born at 38 weeks.

37 - 42 weeks is full term.
YOUR BABY WAS NOT FUCKING PREMATURE.

Go ahead. Tell me i'm being unreasonable. I know i deserve it and need slapping down off my soapbox.

OP posts:
VeloWoman · 05/02/2014 05:08

YANBU, DS was a micro prem and spent three months in hospital after he was born, when mums tell me they had a premature baby as well (37+2) and how awful it was having them spend 4 hours in scn before being taken back to mum I do struggle to feel sympathetic. I know any separation from your baby is hard but it makes me feel like they are trivialising the experience of having a 1lb baby by making out it's the same as having a 6 or 7lb baby.

I think the media has to take some blame for romanticising the experience of having a very premature baby, they don't dwell on what it's like not knowing if your baby will die before you get a chance to hold them or the years of early intervention therapy that are often needed afterwards. Then tend to focus on the babies who don't have significant disabilities or impairments as a result of their premature birth and the mums who don't suffer from PND or PTSD.

So no OP YANBU at all!

Pipsmilkmaid · 05/02/2014 05:11

YANBU my ds was born at 29+6. A women came to a group we go to with a baby born at 37 weeks she spent about an hour talking about how early he was and what a shock, which it must if been, but then looked at bit Shock when she asked me about ds and I gave his actual age then corrected. He's still very small at 6 months actual.
It sometimes feels like those that had a baby early 37 weeks plus feel they need to use the term premature as they think they gain something, I try not to use it but it the classification ds is very premature with a very low birth weight.

Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 05/02/2014 05:13

Jen Mine isn't corrected. None of the three hospitals ive given birth in,or the other two i know people whove had 37 weekers in correct at 37 weeks.

OP posts:
Catsize · 05/02/2014 05:29

YANBU. I am 37/38 weeks pregnant (depending if you go off scan or treatment date). When people have asked over the last couple of days when the baby is due, I just say 'any day now - he or she is fully cooked'. Have always hated the due date thing. Feel like I am lying though - as though my answer indicates I am post-40wks. If I gave birth tomorrow, it wouldn't enter my head to say the baby was premature.

bragmatic · 05/02/2014 05:31

YANBU.

Premature: Not mature (or developed, or whatever) enough to come out, but out, nevertheless.

Early is: "Surprise! I'm early!! (and healthy)."

ShanghaiDiva · 05/02/2014 05:35

Yanbu. Agree with bragmatic's definitions.

HootyMcOwlface · 05/02/2014 06:02

Mine was 4 weeks early and I feel uncomfortable saying premature, as apart from low weight (4lb 12) and low blood sugar/temp he was healthy.

I know of one person who was correcting for milestones (first smile I think) because baby was born one week before due date, and I remember thinking it was weird but I let it go because people say all sorts of weird things after having a baby.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/02/2014 06:12

My DD was botn at 36 weeks. It was quite traumatic and she has disabilities.

Everyone is different.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 05/02/2014 06:17

I was 2 weeks early (doctors said premature) emergency caesarean. However, I was absolutely fine. My sister, however, was 3 1/2 weeks late and ended up in SCBU. Every pregnancy is different. You can't claim to know what it's like to have a baby in NICU because yours was a few days early and fine! Some people eh?

Jengnr · 05/02/2014 06:22

Have those children had any interventions other than routine ones Flock?

I can assure you my son has a corrected age given at every appointment we've had with a Paed and/or surgeon.

kerala · 05/02/2014 06:23

Yanbu must be maddening. Dd1 37 weeks and fine wouldn't have occurred to me to use the p word. Likewise dd2 35 weeks and was small and didn't feed but turned out fine so again I wouldn't categorise her as premature. Think some exaggerate for abit of drama....

MsLT · 05/02/2014 06:35

YANBU. Some people say 'Premature' for dramatic effect when Infact they have delivered a perfectly healthy baby early. I always think a premature baby is one who requires some sort of medical intervention.

Everysilverlining · 05/02/2014 06:46

Yanbu. 37 weeks is not premature. To be honest I tend not to think of pre 35 weeks as premature I think of that as early because my local nicu and scbu do not tend to take those babies, they tend to discharge them. Mind you they wanted to discharge ds at 34 + 4. I do know that pre 37 weeks is earlier than term, but to my mind it's early. Of course early babies can still have problems but it is not the same as having a preemie. You don't routinely have to consider rop, bleeds, nec, brain scans etc for early babies nor do you routinely consider death and disability day in day out every day you go into nicu.

DoubleHappiness · 05/02/2014 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtEveDallas · 05/02/2014 06:51

My 35 week-er was 3lb 1oz and spent a month in Kindertensive being tube fed. Everyone is different.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 05/02/2014 07:00

Both DD and DS3 were born at 35 weeks.

DD was healthy (apart from a bit of jaundice which was easily fixed by sticking her under a special light).

DS3 was less healthy (low birth weight, low blood sugar, jittery). He went straight into an incubator and spent several days in SCBU.

The weird thing is that I would describe DD as having been born "a bit early" whereas I would describe DS3 as being born "a bit premature" even though they were born at the same time.

mintyneb · 05/02/2014 07:35

YANBU, I didn't have a premature baby - DD was induced at 40+10. But she needed major surgery at 3 days old and spent a week in neonatal intensive care and a further 6-7 weeks in high dependency with more surgery.

But I witnessed scenes of tiny premature babies, and deaths, scenes I wish I could forget. I made friends with mums of babies born at 26 w, twins at 28 w and saw what they went through.

To compare a 2 week 'early' healthy baby with them is just wrong.

LiegeAndLief · 05/02/2014 07:39

Bragmatic beat me to it.

The clue is in the name. Pre-mature, ie before the baby is properly mature and therefore needs special care. Early is just a bit earlier than you were expecting. Someone who has had a 37 weeker and popped home the same afternoon has got no clue whatsoever what it's like to have a premature baby and it would drive me insane as well.

Sparklysilversequins · 05/02/2014 07:45

Maybe people just don't realise. Dd was born at 38 weeks and it worried me when labour started. I was fine once the midwife explained. I am not sure why people would get angry about this Confused.

lougle · 05/02/2014 08:03

You can't generalise. Some of the 37 week cesarean babies born with wet lungs were the sickest babies on the unit. Similarly, babies induced due to gestational diabetes.

Also, there was no rhyme or reason for how well people coped with having a premature baby. Gestation really isn't the deciding factor for how stable the journey to discharge will be, just an indication. Boys lag behind by a couple of weeks, also, so a 33 week girl could well be doing better than a 35 week boy.

Jengnr · 05/02/2014 08:07

Btw I never refer to my boy as prem and his condition is a cosmetic one so no actual health problems.

Rosduk · 05/02/2014 08:13

My son was born 13 weeks premature and died after a few hours. Obviously a 38 weeker is early, not premature but if someone used that term to me I would correct them but I wouldn't be annoyed.

I don't many people know these things until they have actually experienced it themselves.

callamia · 05/02/2014 08:14

I had a wet-lung baby at 40+11.
He was over twice the size of other babies in his NICU nursery - it was almost embarrassing...

The premature babies and their mothers that we shared space with were amazing, and many were in for a much longer journey than we were. The woman whose baby was next to mine made me cry with her kindness to me when I was feeling bewildered and sad on my first day.

LeBearPolar · 05/02/2014 08:14

Why do you care? Does it make a difference to your experience, how other people describe theirs?

And as for whoever said "People are stupid. They try to be comforting..." What a vile thing to say. At least people are trying to be comforting and doing their best to show compassion. I'm sure the world would be better if we all just told each other to fuck off with our tedious problems and stop being boring. Hmm

AWhistlingWoman · 05/02/2014 08:22

I think it is annoying because 'premature' covers such a wide range of situations, from very tiny micro prems who can have a host of complications, to babies born at a better gestation and weight who can be equally ill or babies born at some point in the 36th week of pregnancy who have few or no complications.

The WHO categories premature births thus . . .
Preterm is defined as babies born alive before 37 weeks of pregnancy are completed. There are sub-categories of preterm birth, based on gestational age:

extremely preterm (