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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by '2 weeks premature'

290 replies

FlockOfTwats · 05/02/2014 02:05

Fuck it. I know i'm being unreasonable. I know i'm being pedantic to the level of being a complete arsehole.

But it REALLY annoys me when people describe their baby as 2 weeks PREMATURE when they are born at 38 weeks.

37 - 42 weeks is full term.
YOUR BABY WAS NOT FUCKING PREMATURE.

Go ahead. Tell me i'm being unreasonable. I know i deserve it and need slapping down off my soapbox.

OP posts:
Snatchoo · 05/02/2014 23:29

See, if someone said to me their baby was 2 weeks prem, I'd assume 35 weeks.

2 weeks early, 38 weeks.

Surely that's right?!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 05/02/2014 23:32

I never had a problem with hv. Both ds2&3 were on a different chart untill we hit the 40;week full term mark and then went on to the full term chart so were always marked 5 and 8 weeks behind their actual age

MoominsYonisAreScary · 05/02/2014 23:36

I think 38 weeks is classed as term

Anthing 35-38 is pre term and earlier than 35 is premature isnt it?

But a 35 weeker is 5 weeks early or pre term, not 2 weeks

katese11 · 05/02/2014 23:45

Pixie..Just The usual health visitor nonsense...ooh he's very small isn't he? We want him to be on the 50th percentile...That Kinda thing

Slutbucket · 05/02/2014 23:47

My twins were 36 weeks so a week early in my mind. We never spoke corrected ages or anything. One of them needed to SCBU and I remember feeling absolutely gutted. I had the other twin to look after so,couldn't go with her. I then went into SCBU and saw some of the babies and my 6 pound 5 twin looked massive and I found myself counting my blessings. The strain some of the parents were under was something i will never forget.

BasketzatDawn · 05/02/2014 23:48

Yep, you are being pedantic, OP. But it annoys me too. That means UANBU!

TwelveLeggedWalk · 05/02/2014 23:50

In real life I seem to have a lot of conversations that go like this:
"Ooh twins.. Blah blah... How was the pregnancy"
"Oh mixed, they came a bit early,"
"Really, how many days?"
"Um, about 10 weeks"
"Shock"

Snatchoo · 06/02/2014 00:04

Twelve - just to go off on a tangent, my twins are in a special SALT class in school - apparently this is because they 'speak in their own twin language'!

This was said by a friend of mine explaining to someone else why they are bussed to school Grin

(they don't btw. They are just behind in their speech!)

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/02/2014 00:12

My ds was a 32 weeker, I'd have given short shrift to anyone who said 2 weeks prem. Yanbu OP!

LifeIsForTheLiving · 06/02/2014 00:17

I think yabu.

Generally 40 weeks is considered term. So anything before that is 'early' or 'prem'.

If you get so wound up by the specific term used that is you being overly sensitive. People aren't trying to offend. Most probably don't give it that much thought.

SpinDoctorofAethelred · 06/02/2014 00:21

No. 37-40 weeks is generally considered term.

Overview

Preterm is defined as babies born alive before 37 weeks of pregnancy are completed. There are sub-categories of preterm birth, based on gestational age:

extremely preterm (
Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 06/02/2014 00:58

lifeisforliving Happy to be told i am unreasonable. No problem there, i thought more people would think i am being a twat tbh.

but you are wrong. 37 weeks is full term.

OP posts:
SpinDoctorofAethelred · 06/02/2014 01:03

Flock getting annoyed by people blatantly misusing words isn't unreasonable, whether it's out of a wish to add drama to their lives, or because they're too illiterate to pick up a simple the Idiot's Guide to Pregnancy book.

so there! Grin

Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 06/02/2014 01:04

Should say you are wrong about 40 weeks.

The EDD is given because the average week of birth is 40 weeks. So it is reasonable to expect baby during the 40th week. Its not a marker of when baby is ready or developed. One babies on time might be 37 weeks. Another might be 41+6. Niether are pre or post term.

Really we should have a due month. Like most other mammals that carry for a long period of time. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 06/02/2014 01:07

Spin I have a mile long list of the crap people come out with that pisses me off.

The random things about dds hearing range from bizzare to downright stupid and offensive.

In summer someone assumed she was blind. I looked puzzled and told them she's not blind. They said "well how can she be deaf then? I thought all deaf people couldn't see either".

OP posts:
LifeIsForTheLiving · 06/02/2014 01:20

I know 37 weeks is term.

I said that 40 weeks is generally considered term. If you ask anyone how long a pregnancy lasts, the answer will usually be '40 weeks'. So it naturally falls that many people will call pre-40 weeks 'early' 'pre-term' or 'prem'.

I think it's ur to nitpick over the word used and get offended over things where no offence is meant.

If I gave birth at 37 weeks and someone asked when the baby had come, I'd say '3 weeks early' not 'right on time'

SpinDoctorofAethelred · 06/02/2014 01:28

Really? I'd say 'nine months'. It's more vague, and so more accurate.

And well, if many people are ignorant, and truly believe that 40 weeks is how long pregnancies last, and anything earlier than 39 weeks 6 days is premature, then there's only one solution.

Force the fuckers to look at a medical dictionary. I'm pretty certain I comprehended the difference between a week earlier than the due-date and actual prematurity when I was ten. Because it's freaking obvious that the female body is not a precise kitchen timer.

SpinDoctorofAethelred · 06/02/2014 01:32

Flocks Should say you are wrong about 40 weeks.

You're right, I didn't check I'd got the other end right. Grin Still, I'm not boasting about having been born 7 days prematurely on facebook. Small mercies, eh? Grin

Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 06/02/2014 02:16

spin Sorry, i was making my response to Life clear, I didn't mean you lol.

If I gave birth at 37 weeks and someone asked when the baby had come, I'd say '3 weeks early' not 'right on time'

Early would be correct. Premature is the word i have a problem with.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlockOfTwats · 06/02/2014 02:22

And also life some one genuinely not realising that 37 weeks is term is not what i have a problem with is fine too. A girl i went to school with was on facebook saying 'two weeks to go, hope you stay in there and don't come out too early baby!' (She is 38 weeks). She obviously is unecuated about pregnancy. That did not upset me or offend me. I felt a bit sorry for her worrying unnecessarily.

When someone is sat there, As you have left your ill baby hooked up to machines, miles away, Telling you that they know how you feel because their baby was 'prem' when what actually happened was they had a perfectly normal, term birth, baby was handed straight to them and they jollied off home together the next day to play happy families - That's what's annoying and what i'm talking about in my post.

Like i said, i'm happy to be told i'm unreasonable. I asked the question, i expected it - I did not expect so many to agree with me! But if you're going to say i'm unreasonable at least be clear on what i am being unreasonable about.

OP posts:
whatever5 · 06/02/2014 08:20

I've never heard anyone say that their baby was premature if born at 38 weeks. I don't see why it should annoy anyone though. People get things wrong. Who cares?

My children were born at 38 weeks and although I would never say premature I did make the point once or twice that they were early to HV who would talk about their low birth weight. They would have been small if born at 41 weeks but they weren't that small for 38 weeks

MiaowTheCat · 06/02/2014 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zoemaguire · 06/02/2014 09:42

Kewcumber yes we obviously hope he'll catch up. He was a great weight at birth for a 26 weeker (relatively speaking! 2lb4) and everyone in our family is very tall. But when he was between 30-35w he was effectively starved by the hospital (mix of medical incompetence and severe oedema which made it hard to see how much weight he was gaining), dropped waaay off the bottom of the chart, and according to the paeds this is very likely to have affected his long-term growth. Still, he has surprised us in every way possible so far, so hopefully he will in this respect too!

It's just the glib 'oh I met a 6-foot 26 weeker just the other day' comments that get me - on average very prem babies do end up height-restricted as adults, amongst other ill-effects. After what they have to go through in their first weeks of life, this is hardly a surprise, but I guess most people have no idea of that - they assume it's just a case of waiting it out in hospital while they grow.

Kewcumber · 06/02/2014 12:04

My DS has continued to surprise me ll the way through - but then I suppose many children do, don't they. I can see you would find the 6'6" prem comments irritating even though people are just trying to reassure you, its like people moaning at me about plotting DS's weight, height and head circumference on his red books charts obsessively saying "Oh those charts are so pointless, it really doesn't matter" Well it mattered to me because every tiny bit he crept up the charts felt like progress and was one more tiny step to putting his premmie and institutional delays behind him.

mymatemax · 06/02/2014 17:08

:) Zoe the only thing that ds2 has managed to catch up with is his height & weight. As an 11 yr old he is still years behind (and always will be).
Its amazing how many peoples neighbours auntys cousin had a miracle prem baby who is now studying astrophysics 7 training for the next olympics