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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want the MIL to visit our newborn straight away?

665 replies

floppops · 04/02/2014 14:37

Our second DC is due in a few weeks.
When our first was born I had a very traumatic birth and was discharged the next day when I wasn't really well enough..
My MIL was on her way to see the baby within hours of DD being born ( 2 hour car journey for her). She got my husband in a right flap with constant phone calls and arranging of times,parking arrangements etc. It really wound him up and he went off at me. She arrived - opened a bottle of wine, drank it with my husband and left quite quickly after photos and holding the baby. Didn't help in any way.
I would really like a couple of days with first DD and baby at home to settle in before visitors this time. I'm a having a csection on a Monday and was thinking of telling MIL that the weekend should be ok for a visit?
But my husband thinks this is unreasonable and she should come when she likes. He refuses to support me. So I'm thinking I will have to tell her beforehand. Just worried she'll see that as confrontational or worse disregard my wishes and come anyway...

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 04/02/2014 22:11

He can visit her show a photo and say are you able to visit at the weekend? MrsSon is not up for visitors before then.

HaroldLloyd · 04/02/2014 22:12

Someone might come in and run off with all the newborns.

Anything could happen.

JassyRadlett · 04/02/2014 22:12

Well, one poster's MIL did. Grin

Comessyouare14 · 04/02/2014 22:12

I know I'm coming to this late, but someone asked what the baby wants.

My DCs would love grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, to feel they are a part of an extended family network. As it is, they just have me and one another.

Oh and I did do a sainsburys run about a week after a C section - I had to! It was bloody awful but you know, the kids weren't going to do it!

I'd absolutely make a MIL do it if a MIL was available though!

Bowlersarm · 04/02/2014 22:12

Oh marvellous.. Now the poor mil is being shown a photo. Whoop whoop.

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/02/2014 22:13

Well I want to run off with the contents of trampled's treat cupboard

RainYourRottingMyDhaliaBulbs · 04/02/2014 22:13

Yes Trampled, quite right, but there is another person in the room here, the elephant, being the mother of the baby.

Do you not think, do any of you not think that had OPs Mil been nicer and more considerate first time round, that she may be more welcome....second time round? Regardless even of the DH outburst.

I agree goes into parody, most mil threads on here do, their demands and in ward looking selfishness knows no bounds.

I guess that is why there was a film called MONSTER IN LAW

NiceTabard · 04/02/2014 22:13

Right so if DH has a big operation on his cock and is off his noggin on drugs with a piss-bag up, and my mum wants to see me, it's only fair for her to do it right next to his hospital bed? Even if he really doesn't want her to?

And it is only fair for MIL / SIL to be present at birth, if a woman wants her own mother or sister their?

Really?

People are being a bit silly here now.

HaroldLloyd · 04/02/2014 22:13

Did a baby pop out of his bellend? Because otherwise the senarios are not the same.

Can we say a baby popped out?

TrampledUnderfoot · 04/02/2014 22:14

He could put a picture on FB

HaroldLloyd · 04/02/2014 22:14

Of his cock?

He could text it to his MIL and say here it is, will be ready for you to see on the weekend.

Bowlersarm · 04/02/2014 22:14

Comessyouare a sobering post.

NiceTabard · 04/02/2014 22:15

I don't get the pretending that it is as important for a person to see their child who has not had an operation, as a person to see their child who has had an operation.

All most odd.

Comessyouare14 · 04/02/2014 22:15

Nice what the hell! People want to see new babies, especially those closely related to them. They don't generally want to see big cocks Hmm

Can't believe you compared a new baby to a penis and say OTHERS are being a bit silly! Grin

IneedAsockamnesty · 04/02/2014 22:16

The mil is not unwelcome it appears she's very welcome at the weekend

TrampledUnderfoot · 04/02/2014 22:16

So wanting to see your newborn grandchild makes you selfish?

RainYourRottingMyDhaliaBulbs · 04/02/2014 22:16

He could text it to his MIL and say here it is, will be ready for you to see on the weekend

I think some MILS would love that Harold, they seem to think the baby is theirs and their sons, or their dd and their ds, cut out the middle man.

HaroldLloyd · 04/02/2014 22:16

I would rather be fighting visiors away from hospital who only want to see the new addition to the family even if they are a bit over eager than struggling around doing the shopping after a section.

Thanks For you, and next time, OCADO!

Mintyy · 04/02/2014 22:16

Just for interests sake, I have a question for all the mil-haters on here. If you become a mil and then a dgmil, do you think you will love your dd's children more than your ds's children?

SaucyJack · 04/02/2014 22:17

They don't generally want to see big cocks hmm

Speak for yourself............ Wink

Bowlersarm · 04/02/2014 22:17

NiceTabard - truly bizarre. Why are you comparing the birth of a baby, to an operation on a penis? Confused

TrampledUnderfoot · 04/02/2014 22:17

hahaha, not of his cock.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 04/02/2014 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiceTabard · 04/02/2014 22:17

?

I was comparing the situation of the adult. The person who has just had surgery. Because people were saying, well the woman gets to see her parents, why shouldn't the man get to see his.

The answer being, that the man hasn't just had major surgery.

I can't believe that you didn't get that Confused

RainYourRottingMyDhaliaBulbs · 04/02/2014 22:17

Yes trampled, if your going to cause the mother distress, hours after surgery or labour, yes its selfish.

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