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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that married couples should not 'celebrate' Valentine's day?

151 replies

fadingfast · 03/02/2014 21:41

It all seems a bit pointless to me, although to be honest I was never much of a fan even before I was married.

I would rather just do something to mark our wedding anniversary, but we always seem to end up giving each other cards in a rather half-hearted effort.

What do others do? Am concerned I might just be a cold-hearted and wizened old bag.

OP posts:

MissFenella · 03/02/2014 21:44

We share cards with soppy messages and I will prob get some flowers. But if it genuinely isn't for you as a couple then that is cool too.

noblegiraffe · 03/02/2014 21:45

I don't do it, not even cards. Valentines day is for young people with crushes or girlfriend/boyfriends. Married couples have their wedding anniversary for a Hallmark hearts day.

whitepuddingsupper · 03/02/2014 21:45

I've got DH a card and a chocolate heart but we won't be going out for a meal or marking the day in any other special way, I think it's more for younger couples and "secret admirers" to make a thing out of.

WoodBurnerBabe · 03/02/2014 21:45

Well, we never have, but it falls very close to my (and now DS as well!) birthday, so we've just ignored it really. Neither of us is much into the outward display of romanticism, and certainly not "on demand", so to speak...

But I don't have anything against anyone else spending a fortune on a crappy meal and tatty roses if they want to, each to their own.

MimiSunshine · 03/02/2014 21:45

I think married couples (or anyone else) should celebrate whatever they want to.
If you don't want to then don't, just tell your DH you don't want to swap cards this year and be done

CrapBag · 03/02/2014 21:45

Yanbu. I've never liked it because it is the anniversary of my uncles death. Me and DH don't bother, just do cards. Our anniversary is more important to me, not some random day we are suppose to all celebrate at the same time.

BIWI · 03/02/2014 21:46

We do it every year - go out for dinner - in a very post-modern ironic way.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2014 21:46

I think married couples should do whatever they want

We don't bother though

Bowlersarm · 03/02/2014 21:46

But the day is all about romance. Why should married couples be exempt?

LittleBearPad · 03/02/2014 21:46

Cards and probably flowers (red roses are banned though as pointlessly expensive and I don't like them much) maybe a bit more effort with dinner perhaps. Really not much fussed.

Smoorikins · 03/02/2014 21:46

Why shouldn't they, if they want to and enjoy it?

Just because some do doesn't make you obligated to mark the occasion.

YABU. (and I am both single and not a fan ofvalentnes day anyway)

spritesoright · 03/02/2014 21:47

I've never been a big fan anyways. We like the 2 for £10 meal deal from M&S and maybe cheap chocs after the day but that's about it. No soppy card and I'm certainly not booking weeks in advance to overpay for a meal out.

MooMaid · 03/02/2014 21:47

I'd rather have a bouquet of (for example) just because he cared, not because St Valentine told him too

But generally, we don't bother with it - it's all a bit commercialised!

But if you like the romance of it then go ahead!!

Figster · 03/02/2014 21:47

Each to their own but we don't either it's commercialised bollocks and I don't need dh to tell me he loves me on 14th Feb because a card company tells us he should

LittleBearPad · 03/02/2014 21:48

The day is about consumerism Bowler

Nothing says romance like a bunch of expensive non-scented roses that die the next day.

TooOldForGlitter · 03/02/2014 21:49

We don't bother. We aren't married and probably never will but been together a long time. Don't see why 'married' couples can't send cards or make a fuss if they want though?

Binkyridesagain · 03/02/2014 21:49

YABU, My DH is making me a meal, it has been a long long time since he last cooked for me, I will make sure I enjoy every bloody mouthful.

letsgotothebeach · 03/02/2014 21:49

Do whatever you both want to do. We have never really gone out for a meal on Valentines day as restaurants full of couples doing the same thing so we stay in and dh cooks me a special meal (its the only night of the year he ever does so this is a big thing!!). I always tell him not to get me flowers either and to surprise me some other day when I am not expecting them!

Bowlersarm · 03/02/2014 21:50

Primarily romance LittleBearPad, nobody has to be sucked into consumerism to celebrate Valentines Day.

livelablove · 03/02/2014 21:50

This is so MN.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 03/02/2014 21:50

We don't do valentines day, don't see the point when we have out weeding anniversary

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 03/02/2014 21:50

I'm married and looking forward to receiving something stupidly expensive this year. Each to their own I suppose.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 03/02/2014 21:51

Or wedding, even!

MuttonCadet · 03/02/2014 21:51

Well my ex always used to say he didn't need a specific day to buy me a gift or tell me he loved me - which would have been fine if he'd done it at any other time.......

Purplepoodle · 03/02/2014 21:51

We don't but it's only a week away from our wedding anniversary. If it wasn't then I would expect a little pressie like a box of chocolates.

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