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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that married couples should not 'celebrate' Valentine's day?

151 replies

fadingfast · 03/02/2014 21:41

It all seems a bit pointless to me, although to be honest I was never much of a fan even before I was married.

I would rather just do something to mark our wedding anniversary, but we always seem to end up giving each other cards in a rather half-hearted effort.

What do others do? Am concerned I might just be a cold-hearted and wizened old bag.

OP posts:
TeacupTempest · 03/02/2014 22:10

Valentines day is ABOUT marriage!

FootieOnTheTelly · 03/02/2014 22:10

I always receive a valentines card but it's from a secret admirer and not from my DH. Hmm Confused.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 03/02/2014 22:12

We've never celebrated it.

It's never occurred.

FutTheShuckUp · 03/02/2014 22:12

I love valentines day. Save for the day we got engaged though I've never got anything nice!

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2014 22:13

It's not more pointless really than receiving a Mother's day card/flowers from your baby Grin

SelectAUserName · 03/02/2014 22:14

I think married couples should be able to do whatever they want.

We exchange cards and either go out for a meal or get some food in that we wouldn't get in the normal run of things, but we do that on other, random, days throughout the year too.

TamerB · 03/02/2014 22:15

There are people on here who think adults shouldn't celebrate birthdays, some people are just fairly joyless.

yonisareforever · 03/02/2014 22:15

oh dear, here we go the annual misery valentines thread

we see every day as valentines
we dont need commercial flowers and cards
my dh brings me flowers spontanesouly every month

yada yada yada,...

Its supposed to be a bit of fun, sweet and romantic with everything going on in our lives isnt just sweet to have a day where you do show your love a little more to those round you? Think about them a little more and appreciate what you have...married or not...

Gossipmonster · 03/02/2014 22:15

My OH (we are engaged) sends me flowers every year.

We have never spent this or most other occasions like bdays and Xmas together as he's on the Navy.

I never get flowers any other time of year so it's nice to get them from him on Valentines day :)

ToysRLuv · 03/02/2014 22:15

We don't do anything. Cards are a bit pointless and only end up in recycling sooner or later. We have chocs available every day and cut flowers are a waste and expensive, so "meh" on that front as well. I guess neither of us are into prompted/arbitrary gestures. I never remember our anniversary either..

yonisareforever · 03/02/2014 22:16

tamer i often see views expressed on here that would suit North Korea socitey.

Gossipmonster · 03/02/2014 22:16

In Hmm

AlfAlf · 03/02/2014 22:17

Some people don't go in for all that, some people love it. Each to their own!

Personally I love any excuse to have a nice meal and spend quality time together. With three DC's, both of us working and studying, it doesn't occur naturally very often anymore. For those reasons we probably need Valentine's Day more now than pre-marriage.

ouryve · 03/02/2014 22:17

We're not fussed. Sometimes we make a token effort, sometimes we CBA. I don't care what other married couples do. I find the American trend of kids giving Valentine's cards to their friends rather perplexing and hope it doesn't catch on here (though DS1 insisted on making a card for a friend of mine, a couple of years ago, which was very well received because it was such a sweet, spontaneous gesture)

Joysmum · 03/02/2014 22:17

We do cards but nothing else as we make time for each other throughout the year. We focus our efforts on our anniversary the month after and always go away minus our daughter.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/02/2014 22:17

What couples choose to do is really none of your business.

BruthasTortoise · 03/02/2014 22:17

I love Valentines Day. Probably comes from being a fat, lonely boyfriendless teen who never got Valentines cards though. Love getting a card very year from DH. So there.., Smile

HmmAnOxfordComma · 03/02/2014 22:18

Why is it being miserable?

I genuinely didn't think valentines day was supposed to be for couples, but for secret admirers/admirers from afar.

I don't get given anything on Father 's day because I'm not one of those either.

yonisareforever · 03/02/2014 22:20

I think Valentines can be whatever you want it to be.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2014 22:20

I'm dreading the bleating and whining threads next week.

"He bought me garage flowers"

"He didn't buy me any flowers"

"He bought me underwear"

"He sent a card from him and one from the kids...but nothing from the cat"

"He bought me chocolates and now it's all his fault I ate them and broke my diet"

Oh deep joy! Grin

WholeLottaRosie · 03/02/2014 22:20

This reply has been deleted

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SecretWitch · 03/02/2014 22:21

Dh and I never bother. My mum always sends my children lovely cards and little gifts.

People should celebrate whatever makes them happy..We tend to make a huge deal of Halloween (Damn those Americans!)

pointythings · 03/02/2014 22:24

DH and I make a joke of it. We try to get each other the most sarcastic card ever. One year I printed him out a black and white grainy picture of a heart on A4 on the grounds that with all the austerity, we had to save on Valentine's day - and then bought him a lot of really nice chocolates to ease the pain. He has also got me a really deliberately cheapo horrible card and followed it immediately with really nice champagne.

This April we will have been married 16 years, a couple for 21 years. Clearly it works for us.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2014 22:24

Last year DH and I gave what money we might have spent, to eldest DS.

He was skint and could only afford a card for his girlfriend

So he bought her a bouquet of flowers and a KFC takeaway! Grin

We babysat his girlfriends 4yr old though, so they could have a quiet night alone.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2014 22:26

Pointythings, you need to send him this! Grin

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