Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DH's attitude towards the meal I cooked?

268 replies

FlatsInDagenham · 03/02/2014 19:43

I used the leftover beef and made beef noodle soup. It was delicious - full of ginger, garlic, chilli, soy, stock, vegetables, coriander, masses of noodles and lots and lots of lovely leftover roast beef. A massive panful, enough to feed at least 6, just for me and DH (DC don't eat chillies) with plenty left to freeze for another day.

DH complained that he didn't want 'soup' for his evening meal. I pointed out that exactly the same components on a plate with less water would have been a stir fry. He said that you get less in a bowl. I offered to get him another bowl. He said (with disgust) that he didn't want two bowls of soup for his tea.

I spent ages making that soup and it was bloody delicious, and healthy too.

Just had to have a moan about it here.

Angry

And ask you: Am I being unreasonable to serve up soup for an evening meal?

OP posts:
curlew · 04/02/2014 17:32

If I am cooking and I am planning something very different from what we usually have, I would always check with whoever was eating first. And if Dp cooked something I didn't like I'd find a nice way of telling him so he didn't cook it again. The problem is not the OP's DP having an opinion- the problem is him being a git about it.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/02/2014 17:48

I guess the "soup is/isn't a main meal" isn't the issue here as people don't know exactly how substantial the particular bowl of soup was. It's more your other half's attitude, OP. too sulky.

BeeInYourBonnet · 04/02/2014 18:01

There are (rare) times when I like soup for dinner (e.g. when I've got loads of yummy fresh bread, or croutons and cheese to add, and its a lazy Sunday). But mostly I would be disappointed if I came in from work to soup for tea. However, that's why I am responsible for meal planning .

However there is never any reason to be rude and ungrateful. On the odd occasion DH has dared to comment on dinner ( normally when I've attempted a vegetarian dish!) he has only narrowly missed wearing it!

maparole · 04/02/2014 18:07

At what point does a soup become a stew?

FGS what an absolute nonsense to suggest that a dish is not appropriate for a certain time of day, just because of the label you are putting on it. That sounds like the sort of rigid thinking you might expect from a stroppy 3-year-old. If it tastes good and is filling, WTF does it matter what it is called Confused?

And as for being rude and critical when someone has made the effort to prepare a meal ... words fail me Angry

FuckingWankwings · 04/02/2014 18:14

Exactly, maparole. I don't understand why a ton of noodles in a soup is not acceptable where a ton of noodles in a stir-fry would be.

StainlessSteelBegonia · 04/02/2014 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/02/2014 18:17

At what point does a soup become a stew?

That just made me laugh out loud.

Oh the poor poor dh who came home to a meal already made for him that was no effort for him what so ever.

I hope he doesn't break a nail pouring his cereal later.

happygirl87 · 04/02/2014 18:17

I have a cold and have requested soup and toast for dinner tonight. I cannot wait Grin

WorrySighWorrySigh · 04/02/2014 18:24

At no point has the OP said whether she discussed this soup with her DH. For all we know she had told him it was going to be stirfry then decided to stretch it by making soup. For all we know her DH was expecting to come home and have nice roast beef sandwiches.

Given that the accepted way of catering in the OP's house is that she cooks in the week and her DH cooks at weekends I dont see why he has to be 'grateful' for being made to eat something he doesnt want. Depending on how the OP's domestic economy works it is possible that there was little else to eat as an alternative (my DH tends to run things very tightly).

For me one of the nice things about leaving home was no longer having to be 'grateful' for my DM's stews, soups and casseroles.

StainlessSteelBegonia · 04/02/2014 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsmamma · 04/02/2014 18:42

well if he doesn't think soup is an acceptable meal I doubt very much he'd thank his DW for sarnies.

And as fo everyone saying HE has been at work all day, what about everything the OP has to do in a day??

tbh being at home with children probably expends a good deal more energy than sitting t desk moaning about your supper of soup.

wannabestressfree · 04/02/2014 18:45

I always remember coming home on a Monday night from school with my brother in tow and him bursting into tears as my mum had done a big pot of lentil soup..... It was not a proper dinner according to him :/

I has leek and potato soup tonight in case anyone is interested :)

CrohnicallyFarting · 04/02/2014 18:48

Exactly, stainlesssteel. And for what it's worth, my DH isn't a big soup fan either. But how do I know? Because when I've made soup or casserole in the past, he has asked nicely if I can add cornflour to thicken it, or may he have bread/potatoes with his? And there's the thing, he asks nicely and politely. He doesn't complain or say things with disgust.

Mind you, even he enjoyed the leftover roast chicken soup I made that was thick enough to stand your spoon in (literally, we tried it).

Laquitar · 04/02/2014 19:47

Catsmama,
its not that if you work you spend more energy than someone who is at home with the dcs. But if you are at home you can snack all day, you can eat the fish fingers that dcs left, and an apple, a banana, toast...
I m not saying that op has eaten all this, but i do when i am at home!! Then, and only then, i can be ok with a soup for dinner. (pig emotion).

OhTheDrama · 04/02/2014 20:00

YANBU I am glad me and DH are on the same page, we love soup for dinner so do the DC's. Tonight we had homemade carrot and coriander with crusty bread. Your soup sounds delicious by the way!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 04/02/2014 20:15

Op your soup sounds excellent. We regularly have noodle soup. I work in a manual job, and put the same amount of noodles and so on into soup - I also take more care than 'pouring vile salty water' on a stir fry'. This labeling of food as 'lumch' vs dinner co fuses me; surely what matters is if it's filled you up, which ops soup would have. Dh is an area, stop cooking for him while you finish your soup.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 04/02/2014 20:17

Arse. Autocorrect

Littleen · 04/02/2014 20:29

Your husbands attitude was rude and you should tell him that. Lots of people don't find soup quite enough for dinner, and that includes my OH. I make soup for lunch in the weekend instead! However, it's uneccessary to be rude about it so tell him to cook himself :)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/02/2014 20:57

I quite like soup, my husband doesn't. I tend to cook the things that we both like because he doesn't cook. I'd like the OP's soup but I like spicy things, some people don't like watery soups, preferring thicker things and this wouldn't be on their preferred menu.

Whatever I'm cooking though, I'd be disappointed (and would feel that I'd failed - or might as well not have bothered) if people are so hungry afterwards that they're raiding the fridge and cupboards.

I'm not from the 1950s but don't have a lot of time for those screeching that husbands should be grateful and OP's husband is an arse. He isn't - and how exactly do you think that makes the OP feel? Hmm

It's not about gender it's about cooking. Whoever does it should cook for their family. Food/fuel is very expensive; too expensive to waste.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 04/02/2014 21:04

I would be interested to know if the OP did actually discuss the soup idea with her DH in advance.

Soup does not have magical nutritional properties. It is just wet savoury food.

Saying that the OP is right because posters like soup is no more relevant than me saying the OP is wrong because I dont like soup.

MrsOakenshield · 04/02/2014 21:12

I would like to know that too, Worry.

Regardless of who's been at work or who's cooking, DH and I discuss in advance what's going to be for dinner. If either of us was going to change that we'd let the other know - only polite, isn't it? If we'd said we were going to have stir fry and I came home to find that DH had unilaterally decided, no, we're having soup, I would have been pissed off (in fact, I'd be more pissed off the other way round as I don't really like stir fry) - the fact that it might have taken him ages to make would be irrelevant - he had taken it upon himself to change dinner plans without asking if I'd like it first. That's pretty rude, in my book.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/02/2014 21:14

OP's DC didn't eat the soup either; they don't like chillies so the soup is only really suitable for OP.

Mim78 · 04/02/2014 21:15

Sounds really nice! Can I come over?

My response would have been "don't eat it then".

He was being a twat and v rude. Sounds a perfectly good evening meal, but even if he didn't want that I always thought that if someone else is cooking they can choose what to cook. He should be glad you are economising anyway as I assume you have joint finances?

Mim78 · 04/02/2014 21:18

As I keep saying on these fussy eating threads, I always eat what dh cooks (he cooks quite alot but we don't have a rota or anything) even with mad pregnancy fads. I just don't get saying "I don't want that" to somebody.

KarmaVersusGeorgeOsbourne · 04/02/2014 21:19

Who are these childish people who get so upset because their dinner isn't exactly what they wanted?

And of course soup is a filling evening meal. Not thin broth, but good thick lentil, or leek and potato- or, indeed, beef with lots of noodles. Plenty of bread on the side.