Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think DH is being a dick

104 replies

6tantrumsaday · 02/02/2014 12:38

That really he swears he is being totally reasonable though.

DH works 5 days a week 8-6 his job is sometimes stressful but mostly it is pretty calm. I am pretty much a SAHM too our 2 DCs and 2 DSS I also work 8am till 1pm in a local shop 3 days a week. I do most of the childcare during the week and a lot during the weekend too because DH has a hobby which takes him away most of Saturday. Now usually DH is appreciates what I do, and helps out with the DCs when he is here.

This week our youngest DC has been really sick with a tummy bug which I then caught, I stopped being ill on Friday night but I still feel awful and I can't eat much. I called him on Saturday whilst he was in his hobby and asked him to bring some frozen stuff home to feed the DCs as I didn't really want to cook. He didn't, he then complained because I asked him to pay for a takeaway as I haven't had the chance to get money out.

Today I told him I wasn't going to make a roast dinner because I don't feel like cooking all day plus me our youngest DC won't eat it and DSS1 looks like he is coming down with it and probably won't want it either. Plus we don't have any of the food for it in the house because I didn't get a chance to go shopping.

He threw a complete hissy fit, saying he always looked forward to it all week and I had spoilt his weekend. I said he could make it if he wants and I would make a list of stuff for him to buy. He said it was my job and he hates cooking anyway. I said I was just going to make pasta or something easy. He said I was taking the piss and he would make the dinner then. He stormed out with the shopping list but came back 5 minutes later saying he didn't want to anymore and he was just going to clean his car.

DSS1 was sick just before 12 so I started cleaning him up then youngest DC was sick so I called DH through to help and he kept grumbling saying this should all be my job and he earns all the money so I should cook and clean. I told him to stop being a big baby and just deal with it. He said I needed to act like a better wife and he worked so.much harder than me. Then he just walked out and left me with two upset DCs. He has gone on his push bike so probably won't be back for ages.

This happens about once every few months after he has had a stressful week in work he gets grumpy and angry over the slightest thing. He goes on his bike pushes himself too hard and comes back home even more grumpy and falls asleep on the sofa. Then tomorrow morning he will be really sorry and try to make up for it.

Usually I just accept it and move on but this week I am so tired of everything I just want to tell him he was being a dick and its not okay to behave like that ever.
So AIBU or not because he has had a hard week but so have I and I am not behaving like that.

OP posts:
Rosa · 02/02/2014 12:40

He is a dick .....

SantanaLopez · 02/02/2014 12:41

He is. Sorry :(

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/02/2014 12:42

He's a sexist pig. Your his slave not his wife. Angry

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2014 12:43

Dick?

Understatement.

You need to revisit the roles in this relationship.

Anyone else hoping he comes down with the bug too? And if he does, leave him to get on with it.

tallwivglasses · 02/02/2014 12:44

He's a 50s throwback. Throw him back.

FetchezLaVache · 02/02/2014 12:44

You are absolutely completely and utterly NBU. Christ, where do we even start with this one?

Fairylea · 02/02/2014 12:46

So you're all ill and he won't do fuck all to help and is being quite passively aggressive actually. He is a total dick. I would be livid.

I am a sahm, dh works 55 hours a week, often 8-10 12 hour days. I do all housework and childcare however like today for example he's asked what's for dinner and I said pasta and he said he quite fancied a roast and asked if I'd eat it so he's going to tesco on his way home and getting all the bits for it.

He never falls asleep on the sofa. I have thyroid and pituitary problems and if I can manage to deal with two children one of whom is up everyday at 5.30am without falling asleep on the sofa I don't expect anyone else to. (And he just wouldn't, he'd think it was a waste of the day).

I do all the cooking because I enjoy it but if dh is home he will tidy up afterwards and bung the dishwasher on.

I had a lazy arse of a husband the first time I married and I'd never put up with that again... luckily my dh is nothing like that anyway.

I'd be really angry with your dh.

AnyFucker · 02/02/2014 12:46

Are you seriously asking us this ? Confused

BellaVita · 02/02/2014 12:46

OMG he sounds like a tantrumming child.

JennyOnAPlate · 02/02/2014 12:47

He is a Dick of the highest order. And a twat.

He has no respect for you at all. What kind of man doesn't help the woman he supposedly loves when she's sick??

CumberCookie · 02/02/2014 12:48

What a waste of space. Even if you hadn't been ill he's still being a dick. Remind him its 2014 not 1952.

6tantrumsaday · 02/02/2014 12:48

nannyoog part of me is hoping he will get ill too just so he knows what I feel like.

He is really great most of the time, helps with the DCs and doesn't even mention money or roles but as soon as he has had a stressful week he turns into a complete arse.

OP posts:
gobbledegoop · 02/02/2014 12:48

Complete dick. LTD.

BuzzardBird · 02/02/2014 12:49

Oh my god, what an utter knobwomble. Do not feed the unhelpful git, he really needs to learn the meaning of the word 'support'. What a shit, I am angry for you Angry

freakydoris · 02/02/2014 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wuxiapian · 02/02/2014 12:49

He's behaving like a big kid.

Hope you and the little ones feel better soon.

WaitMonkey · 02/02/2014 12:50

What a twat. I couldn't live with someone like this. Sad

Wuxiapian · 02/02/2014 12:53

He's behaving like a big kid.

Hope you and the little ones feel better soon.

rookiemater · 02/02/2014 12:53

OMG, I'm actually quite shocked that he thinks it is in any way acceptable to treat you like this.

Do you parents live nearby - can you arrange to be out when he comes back? He needs to get the message that his behavior is so far from right that no reasonable person should be expected to put up with it.

6tantrumsaday · 02/02/2014 12:54

I do enjoy cooking and taking care of the DCs which is why I do it but it tends to make me wonder if this is how he really thinks all the time and it only comes out if he is grumpy.
When I ask him that tomorrow he will swear that is not the case but it does make me wonder.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 02/02/2014 12:56

He is being a dick but he's had a stressful week and isn't coping with a stressful weekend. You mention two dss's - what happened with their mother if you don't mind me asking?

You need to talk this through with him but probably later in the week when tempers on both sides have cooled.

I'm sorry he isn't being more supportive when you and the children are ill.

NearTheWindmill · 02/02/2014 12:57

Oh, and by the way, when I had a part-time job and just two children to look after (worked 9.30-2.30) it was the hardest two years of my entire life.

Flangeofmingetown · 02/02/2014 12:57

He is an utter cock.

TheCrackFox · 02/02/2014 12:58

Fingers crossed he comes down with an extremely bad case of it and then you can repay the favour by doing fuck all for him.

He is a dick and this is not normal behaviour from a man.

AnyFucker · 02/02/2014 12:59

Who cares if he had a hard week ?

It doesn't change the fact that he obviously holds these sexist and outdated opinions about how his wife is there purely to service him
My H often has hard weeks but it doesn't change his basic personality. I don't believe in looking too deeply for extenuating circumstances. He ust told you what he really thought of you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread