Or is my husband - re: repeated information

[DolomitesDonkey]

I've got a good memory and whilst I'm not a fan of labelling the quirky - had I been born in the last decade I'd be "in the spectrum".

On Thursday there were pictures in the media of that house in Italy which was nearly crushed by a giant boulder.

Yesterday morning my husband asked me if I'd seen it, I replied yes, I'd seen and read about it Thursday.

In the evening he asked me whether I'd seen the house in Italy blah blah blah.

I said "yes. You asked me this already today and my answer is the same as this morning - I saw it Thursday". He got grumpy and said he couldn't remember and that I'm arsey.

This is just one example, and by my own admission, I sometimes ignore him when he asks a question because it's repeated information/query or just plain dumb.

AIBU and a massive bitch or do repeats cause your soul to wither too?

Oh, and on the subject of Maths, I am crap at it. Amusingly, it was my B&W thinking that made it hard for me at school: I couldn't just accept that this is, say, Pythagorus' Theorem and we use it for such and such, I wanted to know how and why he devised it, and how we know it's the right one to use, and no-one could explain all that stuff to me, so I couldn't get on with Maths because no-one would give me any context. My DB, who is officially diagnosed as ASD, is even worse than me at Maths, for similar reasons. It's a stereotype that everyone on the spectrum, or who has certain ASD traits, will be good at Maths or related subjects.

It's a little known fact that females with ASD are more likely to have skills and obsessions in imaginative areas, such as reading or writing, particularly fantasy or sci-fi, interests in mythology and classical history, etc. Another reason why the testing fails women on the spectrum, as it pre-supposes totally different skills and interests, ie stereotypically male ones, and that those more imaginative skills and interests are seen as NT.

Oxford it was your earlier post and Buffy's post that made me write that. I've been playing those situations at work round in my head for months. Tonight is the first time I've thought someone else might understand it. Mostly I've been trying to work out whether to add it to the 'hmmm I think there's a chance I might have some sort of ASD' pile of evidence. That pile is growing quite fast these days.

I've just finished nearly a year's worth of psychotherapy (CBT) due to chronic recurrent depression. I'm not sure I've gained much from it at all. Possibly because in the back of my head there is a question mark over it and it's not something I felt I could bring up with the psychotherapist.

I totally get your A-Z thing. I can see A and I can see Z. I can see many of the letters in between. There are also some I can't see but I know are there and whatever I do I can't see them. Then I get anxious because I know it's wrong but I can't figure out how to get it right, and then I get depressed. The ones I'm oblivious too are much better.

Rafa, it pleases me to think things I and others wrote might help aomeone else - what you wrote helped me. I have been doing a lot of research on females and ASD ever since I got my result, and it really is lightbulb stuff. Most women with it will be wrongly diagnosed as having long-term depression or even a personality disorder, but it's actually ASD or some of the traits. I'm having therapy currently, because I had a v dysfunctional upbringing, and, whilst it is helping with some things linked to that, it's not helping me in any way with daily life, because I basically need someone to explain to me how to live 'properly' and continuously as an adult, and not struggle miserably on a daily basis not to be a recluse who retreats into fantasy worlds and obsessions (I hide all those inclinations v well from my Ds, I hasten to add).

The A-Z thing is the bane of my life. I have a bloody PhD in a crazy-complicated subject, but I look like a bloody cavewoman at the moment because booking a haircut is so complicated and stressful. I mean, FFS.

BTW, we should possibly start a new thread, away from AIBU for those of us who know or suspect we are somewhere on the spectrum, or at least have certain traits. Any takers?

I'd be up for a new thread. Not sure which section to put it in though.

I'd be interested in that, oxfordbags

What section, though? (Crap at making definitive decisions)

I'd start in Chat for traffic and then ask for it to be moved once it gains momentum. (You can decide where later.)

Remembering a conversation you had the day before is not really the hallmark of a good memory.

I can remember lots of stuff, going years back, including my first mobile phone number (20yr ago).

You were rude, I repeat stuff sometimes, because I don't remember saying it, or who I have said it to...my friends just laugh or say that I told them. I certainly hope my friends & dh don't react the way you do. Infact, no, they wouldn't!

Buffy, I think zzzz's point is important. Pointing out that ASD is a neurological disorder rather than a mental health issue is not about terminology, it's a fundamental difference.

zzz I agree that you have a point there.

I also know that I have seen some threads before on the MH because well... quite a lot of people felt they struggled to cope with it and therefore it was affecting their MH.

Not a lot of traffic on the adult with SN section too compare to MH or chat but it would be a much more cosy place!

zzz why do you think that Buffy wouldn't like some of the responses? I mean I have been on the SN threads with children and found overall people are very helpful, even when you don't have diagnosis. I am not sure why it should be different with adults looking into a diagnosis/support for things that they find hard?

Unless you are expecting posters to come and dismiss any possible AS/ASD because 'they can obviously do X and Y and therefore they are just Arse and not AS/ASD' which I have seen happening with one form or another on MN unfortunately.

maybe a thread on the OTBT might be better then :(:(

Buffy, I can really identify with everything you say. One of the reasons I like internet forums is because my strengths lie in the written word and understanding literature. I can also express feelings without being entirely confused, although sometimes I still get a bit worried I've got the wrong end of the stick (okay, all the time) and that people are laughing at me for being stupid.

I spent my life studying psychology so I can learn my scripts for social interaction, but I am still pretty vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

I would like to join the discussion if we do start it, for support. I'll happily share my diagnostic progress if it helps?