Yes, I know I am... People who tutor their DCs within an inch of their lives and then boast about their achievements

[lilolilmanchester]

Sorry, it does my head in

Our children have not been sacrificed . Our Step Son has a place at the same top university that his parents and I went to - from a state comprehensive.

I don't see anything wrong in wanting to part of a fairer system. Nothing faux or pseudo about that.

It would be highly hypocritical for me to benefit from a comprehensive education and then pull up the ladder for other children now that I have the time and cash to throw at tutors.

It is also about wanting my children to have a rich life , rather than sat at the table with an over paid tutor.

Sorry hypocritical.

Fat fingers on eye phone .

Grr why is my iphone autocorrecting iphone to eye phone?

My children get more homework than that from their primary schools which would explain my reluctance to have then doing anymore.

They also have about an hour of chores each evening - we live on a small holding - I think they get more from being with our animals and roaming the land than doing sums and spellings.

I am not sure that shovelling shit is that Enid Blytonesque tbh.

I think it's outrageous that there's a postcode lottery with grammar schools in the UK. Paid for by govt, yet only a few cities have them.

I agree, it is outrageous that if I live a few miles up the road, I would have to consider moving to avoid the grammar schools.

I don't think tutoring or similar is synonymous with excessive pushing.
Not neccessarily

I think it's outrageous that there's a postcode lottery with grammar schools in the UK. Paid for by govt, yet only a few cities have them.

Perhaps, but what about the fact that there are religious state schools that can legally turn children away because their parents don't practice the faith but are happy to receive the taxes of those very parents? At least grammar schools operate on the basis of the kids' academic ability, be it natural or acquired.

I agree it doesn't have to be, but my children do enough school work .

Dd2 is now on yr 7,when in year 6 she was reading every evening, doing 20 mins am evening homework plus a project which was about an hour a week - if it particularly grabbed her longer.

There was no need to spend any more time on school work .

If she had said to me " mummy I am desperate to practise my grammar or times tables" I would have relented. But she didn't .

Its so odd you have a real life example here of someone very clearly and eloquently explaining how their child s week works, the reality on one child.family using a tutor and the reality she is purporting is very different from the picture always painted by the tutor haters, and yet still, still posters insist its not true and must be impacting them negatively...

I just don't think you have the right to fuck around with your childs education, its not your shot at it, its theirs, and as adults responsible for them, we have a duty by them to ensure they get the very best we can access for them, with the means and ways that we can use.

How have I fucked around with my children's education?

I have one stepson at a top university.
A son who despite immense challenges is almost a straight A/A* student.
A daughter who is just starting GCSEs and managing to combine a great mix of traditional and more academic GCSEs and currently meeting or beating expectations.
A second daughter who is less academic than the others and a bit more of a livewire but still doing well - including getting a level 6 in maths, a level 5 in science and shock horror a level 4 in English.
I then have one lower down in primary school, very early to make judgements about him.
And one in the womb!

I have not said that LaQueen is lying, I have not told her that her children are miserable .

I have said that I think grammar schools are unfair and that I do not want my children doing any extra school work. If they wanted to do more I would not stop them , but I won't encourage it.

She seems to think that I have a victim mentality , I have pseudo morals and live a rather twee Enid Blytonesque life.

My life is probably quite twee, that is quite deliberate. They have the rest of their lives to discover the unpleasant side of the world, not least my eldest son who has mental health and sen issues. For now we have created a rural idyll for them .

LaQueen I was poking fun at myself for not knowing something . I am no genius and I am sure lots of people know things I don't. I have never cracked on to be clever. I quite honest about what I am , a rather mediocre teacher , with average intellect , vulgar taste and leftie leanings.

I suspect we are polar opposites so we will disagree.

We disagree about grammar schools, that isn't personal about you.

I can distinctly remember saying that at least you were honest about why you wanted a grammar school because you would choose private over a secondary modern .

But honestly I really don't care about what I do or don't know about Norway and even less wat a random on the internet thinks about my knowledge of Norway.

I hate this view that tutored kids = miserable, overworked kids, who don't deserve the rewards and applause that non-tutored kids get.

I'm fed up of hearing my Oxbridge-educated friend, who has plenty of hours to spend with her dd each week to supervise homework and revision that her dd has passed the 11+ with "no tutor".

I've done it both ways.
For child one I was the f/t sahm who was there after school at home from 4-7pm everyday, ready to assist, coach and correct homework and revision, with no need for a tutor

AND

For child 2, I've been the f/t working parent who comes home from work at 7pm and has relied on a tutor for a whole 60 mins each week to assist my child who hasn't had the benefit of a highly educated adult ready with all the answers and tons of encouragement each day.

Both my kids deserve praise and rewards for their hard work - tutored or not. In fact I'd argue that the tutored child had less of an advantage than the one who had more of my time each day.

I dont think there is a problem with tutoring to better a child. I do, however think there is a problem with parents wanting their child to be something they are not. Two years of tutoring for a 11+ exam suggests that a child is not naturally bright enough to go to a highly selective school and will struggle later.

Philoslothy

My posts were not directed personally at you. Just a general view on threads about this subject.

I don't consider tutored kids miserable however I do consider over tutored kids miserable and feel sorry for them. By over tutored I mean several hours a day 7 days a week, including holidays and I mean 8-12 hrs on non-school days. Some parents do over tutor.