to say "pardon?"

[matildamatilda]

So I'm American and in the US it's not rude to say "What?" when someone calls you or when you didn't hear something.

It's informal, but not at all rude. Especially if you say it in a pleasant tone. So kids wouldn't be told off for answering "what?" the way they are here. It's just "what" as in "what did you say?"

Since I've lived here I've been training myself to say "Pardon?" but I just can't get the hang of it. It sounds kind of... supercilious maybe? Huffy? Am I just not pulling it off?

I usually end up saying, "Here I am, " or "Sorry did you say something?"

Do you say "pardon"?

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden...

^^ is he saying sorry about the lack of said rosé garden or is he saying what the fuck, I never said you would get that

Another whater here, got very confused as a child because I would be told off at school for what, and at home for pardon.
Other words where bloody, crap and slut all allowed at home, not at school.
Gran said pardon was non U, (see the Mitford sisters)
Slut it has to be said was not used in the way it is now, it meant unkempt, poor house keeper and was used equally for men and women... However it has fallen out of my lexicon due to its meaning now.

Just say 'eh?!'

Dispenses with the pardon/what stuff.

SPs I always assumed it was the latter. Hence "along with the sunshine, there has to be a little rain sometimes" - 'what are you whinging about, you silly git, what did you expect?'

I can't think of many occasions when I personally might use 'pardon' in anything other than a sarcastic manner. I wouldn't consider it rude if another person used it in a polite way, but it wasn't a word I was brought up to say. Sorry, excuse me, what did you say etc were polite, what was a bit short but not rude. My family is mostly upper middle class.

dh's family is working class so our children are neither one thing or the other really luckily we moved to North America where this sort of thing doesn't matter (although it did take me a while to adjust to washroom/bathroom). My mother did tell dh he was vulgar the other day, and was a bit taken aback when he grinned back at her and agreed

He is very deaf and has taken to saying 'Say again' which after a while does grate, but that's probably because I wish he'd go to the doctor and see what can be done to improve his hearing.

Kids - uggggh. I've spent a lot of time in the US and they never say child or children, always kid/s. It makes my skin crawl. Even the most well-heeled will say it. I never heard children uttered once.

I agree, Profondo.

I say "what?", "sorry?" or "yes?" depending on the circumstances. I don't say "pardon?".

I also don't make assumptions about anyone who uses any of these words.

It's interesting how many people are saying they aren't posh but say pardon. Pardon is definitely not posh, no but needed! I honestly don't mean to offend or be sneery I'm just clarifying that if someone thinks pardon is rude (I don't) it's not because they think it's posh but because they think it's common.

Things do change though, I don't say pardon, serviette, lounge, settee or dessert but I do say mirror which used to be in the same gang. I don't think I could make myself say looking glass even though it's lovelier turn of phrase. It all comes down to what your parents used surely.

Who on earth says looking glass? That's not a term I've heard since Alice went through it.

MN never ceases to amaze me. There seem to be hundreds of things that I'm doing wrong, that I'm being judged on. And before MN I was blissfully unaware of it all!

I say 'pardon' (or 'sorry') and 'toilet' and 'dessert'. They're just words. People understand what they mean.They don't have any particular connotations for me. Anyone who will judge me for using one synonym over another, when neither are obscene or offensive, is pretty rude themselves.

Exactly MrsK. Someone said she now lives in the US where such things don't matter. I didn't know they did here! I always assumed I was kind of middling - neither one thing nor t'other, but apparently my vocab reveals me as a frightful lower mc wannabe.

Number of fucks given - 0

Btw, I found when in the USA that Boston and New England was the most class obsessed place I'd ever been. Until I opened my mouth and they heard my silver English tones, they assumed I was an oik.

Silver? That should have been dulcet. Though silver works quite nicely.

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA it depends on the stress he puts on the words. If he says "I beg your pardon" with an even stress, he is apologising. If he stresses the beg, he's saying what the bloody hell are you on about. Think Lady Bracknell and a handbag. If you or I said it with no stress on the word, we'd mean just that. The way she says it conveys such disgust without needing to add any further words - difficult to convey in print without lots of description afterwards.

Btw, I found when in the USA that Boston and New England was the most class obsessed place I'd ever been. Until I opened my mouth and they heard my silver English tones, they assumed I was an oik

Hester I've got a brilliant book called New England in a Nutshell which says a lot about Yankee/Ivy League snobbery (it's tongue in cheek, obv). I haven't spent much time in Boston but have been to Cape Cod (not a fancy part of it) in the autumn a few times and am pleased to say I didn't pick up on any class obsession. I did ride the bus a lot, though, and that was mostly guys shouting "I gotta go to the coarthouse to pick up my fuckin' keys!"

And, being Scottish (Glaswegian, in fact), I doubt anyone would have thought we were classy. We did get old guys at Dunkin' Donuts telling us how much they loved Alexander McCall Smith, which was cute.

And the ACCENT! It's the poshest accent on earth!

Though actually I've yet to meet anyone as class obsessed and snobby as a Scottish class obsessed snob :o

Amusing x post.

My mother says looking glass and is very irritated that I say mirror. As back up to Hester's last point, she's Scottish!

Thanks for clearing my very important question up.

He may use pardon to mean anything as I give no fucks.

Looking glass?! Wtf... It's fucking mirror. Oh a bed? No we must call it a sleeping base. A shoe? No it's a foot protector. A tshirt? No it's a torso cover.

Well quite. I would pull my child out if nursery if I thought the staff were encouraging her to say "shoe".

This thread came into my head reading a Molly Keane novel about an Anglo-Irish family who are always impatiently correcting their youngest son, whose governess has taught him to say 'Pardon' and instructed him in table manners they find disturbingly lower middle class.

"Mummy says pardon is a much worse word than fuck" one child o another in a cartoon in one of Jillys books makes me snigger

Of course none of it matters! But we are English this stuff is hard wired. Other countries much worse Indian caste system anyone?

Yer what?

I can honestly say I have never thought 'ohh I'm posh' when I say pardon! Hilarious. I don't say living room and sofa, what about sitting room is that still posh?!

Couch?