to say "pardon?"

[matildamatilda]

So I'm American and in the US it's not rude to say "What?" when someone calls you or when you didn't hear something.

It's informal, but not at all rude. Especially if you say it in a pleasant tone. So kids wouldn't be told off for answering "what?" the way they are here. It's just "what" as in "what did you say?"

Since I've lived here I've been training myself to say "Pardon?" but I just can't get the hang of it. It sounds kind of... supercilious maybe? Huffy? Am I just not pulling it off?

I usually end up saying, "Here I am, " or "Sorry did you say something?"

Do you say "pardon"?

frogslegs - so if someone is passing me and says "excuse me, excuse me" does that mean they are not only passing, but also farting

I would never say pardon, very pretentious makes me flinch whenever I hear it.

Always loo never toilet , as dh says toilet is what a cat does.

I never say loo, it sounds so mimsy.

A lady bumped into me once and blurted out "oh I beg your pardon" and for some reason it struck me as really charming. We weren't allowed to say 'what?' as kids. And my Mum told my dad off for saying kids instead of children. And we weren't to start a written sentence with and, but or because

Why do people care enough to wince at an utterly innocuous word?

I am beyond baffled?

My parents are very WC. We were told "don't say what, say pardon!" We had a settee in our lounge, used serviettes and went to the toilet or 'for a wee'.

As an adult, I say sorry/what, sofa, living room, napkin and loo.

This stuff shouldn't matter but it does, doesn't it? This kind of thread does comes up repeatedly on MN.

Aristocracy wouldn't give two shits about the 'correct' way to get soup in their faces, so would just take the most direct method - spoon scooping towards themselves. Likewise the working class and serfs. It was the aspirational middle who would want to distance themselves from those they perceived to be beneath them by creating a ridiculous impractical rule that one should spoon away from oneself. Simultaneously mopping their chins with a serviette while saying 'pardon' to each-other before visiting the toilet. All airs and graces and pointless pretensions that have filtered down through society and remain with us today

No it doesn't matter, but I'm not keen on these words or practices due these origins. Plus I like to imagine myself as a class-transcending artisan

The soup thing is so you don't spoon it on to yourself, likewise you tip the bowl away from you, nothing to do with being posh or otherwise, just practical.

I would never say serviette, settee, lounge, or pardon. On the other hand, if you do, I know exactly what you mean!

Loos are at home, toilets are in public places.

I say napkin, sofa, living room (and used to say drawing room when I was a child!), sorry or what? or WTF?

I think it is just what is engrained in you via your upbringing. I really dont care what word you use, as long as you are a nice person, or what accent you use to say it in.

frogslegs - you never apologise for farting. You say nothing or, if it is particularly bad, look pointedly at the dog or someone else .

I suppose it always boils down to whether you want to be one of U(s) or would rather eat your own feet.

My mother says "Say again!" if she has misheard which makes me really - sounds like she's in the military on manoeuvres or something

I say "Sorry?" usually but occasionally "Pardon?" - we were taught Pardon as children but I prefer that for burps & farts

Burps and farts is "Pardon me" or "Excuse me."

ProfundoRosso

'U' is a reference to a 1950's tongue in cheek essay about the differences in the ways different social classes speak and act, written by Nancy Mitford. The 'U' stands for Upper Class, or, as Mitford was extremely aristocratic, 'people like Us'. She didn't actually come up with the term, she was commenting on someone else's work, but it's since been permanently associated with her.

Some people took it seriously...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English

I just remembered another one - Granny was always Granny, because nannies are staff, and she was most certainly not staff.

-you never apologise for farting. You say nothing or, if it is particularly bad, look pointedly at the dog or someone else

I just giggle like a 5year old

This isn't a 'Mumsnet thing'.

It's just that on Mumsnet, under the guise of anonymity, people tell you what they really think. In real life, not so much.

So, sure, IRL, you probably were being judged by a hefty segment of society, but you were just totally ignorant of it. Now, we're all more than aware of our social failings.

I'm a Kiwi so these things aren't quite so important. I say 'what?', 'sorry?', 'pardon?' 'huh?' and any manner of other words, but can't bring myself to say 'toilet', 'serviette', or 'lounge', for instance, so there is clearly some class consciousness seeping in.

I do think that making an effort not to use the 'wrong' word due to Bucket-esque concerns re how you'll be perceived, is far worse than using them and belying your actual social standing, as if it's something to be ashamed of.

In actual fact, the one true defining LMC indicator - the one that over-rides everything else - is caring deeply what people think if you.

So if you go out of your way to avoid certain words because - OMG, people might mistake me for an oik?! - then the battle is lost anyway.

Funny.

I always thought lounge was the "posh" word, and the lower orders (tongue in cheek) were the ones who said living/front room.

Shows how much I know :)

It depends. It's a class thing. 'Pardon' will be met with a frisson of terror in the aspirational middle middle to upper middle class. Much better to say 'what?' Or 'sorry?'But not in an aggressive way - if this is your milieu. The upper class will claim it matters not and will certainly not betray the fact if it grates on them. Everyone else a bit clueless.

I would err on the side of caution and avoid 'pardon' . Unless you are being ironic.

A lounge is what you have in a pub, at home you have a sitting room , or a drawing room if you have very large home and maybe a snug!

Ay gc first school there wad q frightful T A who used to tell the children to say 'pardon'. We moved house.

How many people have got their Big Lights on in their lounge tonight?

Lamps on in sitting room. I don't have a lounge .

I say what, sofa and napkin, but lavatory sounds pretentious, definitely toilet.
My husband was brought up to say pardon all the time, I just thought it was an Edinburgh thing.