Re DH's friends wedding

[Juno77]

DH friend is getting married later in the year. DH is the best man. I am due to give birth 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

DH is going away on stag weekend (abroad) when child is 3 weeks old. I don't mind this, but it is a factor in my current annoyance.

Wedding is in a really fancy hotel, about 50 miles from where we live. We aren't planning to bring the children anyway.

We were planning to stay 2 nights in fancy hotel, as DH has plans with the groom and other friends the day/evening before. I was happily going to relax in the hotel, maybe go to the spa, go for a nice walk, just relax child free. Spend the night together, and wake up on the morning of the wedding and take my time getting ready, relaxing breakfast by myself etc.

DH friend has now told him he's booked them a room for the night before (along with a third friend). So, DH is staying the night before, and I will just have to sort myself out in the morning and make my own way to the hotel, already dressed for the wedding (as check in is too late to get ready there).

I'm pissed off. AIBU? And if so, should I be pissed with DH? Is it really his fault? Should he say no, or should we be more accommodating to the plans of the groom?

For the purposes of not drip feeding;

1. It's over £200 a night so I don't want to spend that on a room for the night before, by myself.
2. I'm not friendly with the bride at all

Ugh.

mister you've misquoted my quote.

I said:
Having a load of people speading over 650 messages

I never said all 650 posts were negative. I said the negative posts spread over 650 messages.

I have been here for 10 years. I registered in 2004 when pregnant with my first child. I didn't 'know' this thread would go this way, in fact I've seen some bizarre turns in this time but the OP was pretty clear on what I was asking. You always get a few who think it's their business to comment on a detail.. Normally these can be ignored, explained or just told DFOD. But this thread just went a bit wild. It's not normal for MN.

perfectstorm what a great post. I can't improve on that.

Wow candy the first ever scientific fact. Interesting. There is no scientific facts all just theories waiting to be disproven. It is very unusual for research of this nature to even proport to be incontrovertible so I think you might find you are reaching big time there with your claims.

There are not there is

Juno, if you read my post at 19.28, you'll see I think you've misunderstood the way the internet works Generally, if you ask a question, people will respond with whatever comments or questions of their own that they want, and you can't control that. The beauty of an open discussion forum, eh?

Mellow that was ridiculously and needlessly condescending. I take it you invented the Internet yourself ?

Not reading 30 pages but can you not stay the night before in a premier/inn Travelodge close by if you don't want to fork out £200 for the room? Then you can get ready in peace, and not have such a stressful morning.

I don't understand why everyone's commenting about leaving the baby when that wasn't what OP asked???

I don't understand why everyone's commenting about leaving the baby when that wasn't what OP asked

Me neither, everyone is different & if you have good support system that you trust wholeheartedly, then why on earth not - all the bitchy, judgey knickers comments on a question not asked, smack loudly of green eyed monster & need to get a life [green]

Wow. Some real pieces of work on this thread! I haven't read all 30 pages, I got the jist of it after the first 5 - OP, you're evil and selfish - tis plain to see

In all seriousness Juno, I'd be pissed off too. With my husband, because if that was what you agreed he should have just said that straight off when the groom called him.

As he didn't, I'd tell my husband that we're sticking to the plan and he can go an spend time with the groom once we're checked in. And that's that.

You're his wife, so of course you want to go to a wedding where he is best man as you want to support him an be there for him - I don't think asking for some basic consideration in return makes you wifezilla.

Another - I never said it was fact! LOL

But you did say it wasn't a theory.

New research that may be interesting has come to light. Either way, anyone who knows anything about attachment knows it is not relevant in this case of a parent goi g away for 2 days. I'm not interested in threatening the OP with 'but attachment theory says.....' People have gone way too far in criticising her parent. So fucking nasty!

OP, enjoy your break!

LJ883's post above is a perfect example of how the vitriol aimed towards those who disagreed with the OPs post has been far worse than anything Bumbley or any other critic has written.

I wasent questioning anyone's parenting though was I!!

To be honest wellthat'sdoneit, that's what went through my head when I read the same statement about how it's nothing to do with being a self promoting smuggard, but down to a genuine inability to understand.

I laughed.

And if you think 'oh fuck off' is far worse than the supercilious shit that was slung at the OP on this thread, then there is no reasoning with you.

Yes because being told to fuck off by a random stranger on the internet is far worse than being criticised for the way you parent your real life human offspring!

I swear, Pictish's post wasn't there when I posted!!!

The way I see it - if someone asks for opinions on their parenting, then they pretty much have to suck up what follows...within reason.
If they did not ask, and then clearly express that those opinions are not sought or welcome, then those who persist in giving them have no manners at all.

It's as simple as that for me, because that's how it works. Whether it be on the net or in rl, to continue to beat someone...anyone down with your unwanted judgement, after being asked not to, is rude and bullying, and shows a profound lack of social skill.

That's why this thread has grated on me so very much. The OP didn't ask, and when she politely requested that people stop, they just kept on going, gathering momentum and puffing themselves up to a status they had no business awarding themselves.

Never mind 'oh fuck off'. Really.

I have non energy left for this thread but what Pictish and candy said.

Telling someone to fuck off, and telling them they value make up over a baby are a little different. Or the many other horrible comments.

I stand by my statement

Having read what you said oh fuck off about I don't blame you.

And I stand by my statement too.

That's fine.

I just think "oh fuck off" is a perfectly reasonable response to an offensive post!

Lj8893 classy lady

HA, I've never claimed to be classy. I just cannot stand judgey people, how dare anybody judge someone on having a night or 2 away from THEIR baby or wanting to ff THEIR baby. Its hardly child abuse is it, and quite frankly nobody else's business!! We all parent in different styles, and what gives any of us the right to tell somebody they parent wrong or try to make them feel like a bad parent. I'm sorry if my language offended anybody, but quite frankly some of the attitudes on this thread offended me.